Who r u Living for?

New blog site address!!!

2011-03-14T12:23:00.002-04:00

http://whorulivingfor.com/

Check out my new site set up!! that is from now on where Ill be posting to so make sure to save the url

God bless!! and Happy Blogging!!

Another year wiser, lol

2011-03-04T12:19:00.001-05:00

I have been doing some thinking. I know I hear some of you say Uh oh, here she goes again, lol.

So my brithday was on wed and I turned (cough cough) lets just say from now on every birthday will be 25. :)

Its not soo bad, I have alot to be thankful for and God's provision providing for my family is Amazing. A lot has happened this past year. Lots of changes going on. But one thing I do know in the midst of k oss and uncertainty, God's word, love, and strength never fails me.

I hear cable and internet customers on a daily basis who are angry and upset but its not because the cable dosent work, its because of the stresses of every day life and when you sit down to relax and your cable is out, all the frustrations then become a reality and then manifest into upset customers.

But what I really see is America as a nation of stressed, hurting, sad, and desperately Americans. Yes many countries call us selfish and such, but growing up in America unless you seek what happens in others countries your unaware of how they live and then assume that every where is like where your at.

As I hear the stories of every day Americans, upper, middle, lower class Americans, all types, all nationalities I see the common trend. They just want someone to listen. Then need someone to just listen and feel like that person feels concerned for the situation and whats going on.

So my point is, Whether you speak to 50 people a day or whatever it is that you do throughout the day, at work, church, the store, the mall, grocery story. Look around and see that Americans need a break meaning they need a smile, they need happiness, they need love, they need to see something different than the typical get out of my way Americans, they need to see selfless humans, who notice those around them.

So start acting like people around you exist and you will see a whole new light. Dont get caught up in your business that you forget to share the one gift you can give that dosent cost anything, your smile and your attention.

I challenge you to take a step out of your comfort zone, Smile, look someone in the eye, (eyes are the window to the soul) Take notice of those around you, and see the pain and hurt, and then do something, smile, notice them, say thank you, do something simple and open the eyes of your heart and you will see a whole new picture.

Sitting on Air

2011-02-24T00:18:00.000-05:00

Ok the last Ill say 3 weeks have been really just one long blur, Started with sickness in the house. Both kids got sick, then I got sick, my sickness lasted for 2 weeks straight ended up on antibiotics but not able to eat for around 2 weeks, Finally my body is recouping but now my kids are sick again with strep this time. So now they are getting antibiotics and hopefully Ill be able to remember to give them to them. So I am back to work and trying to get use to the swing of things again. still have loads and mountainous piles of laundry stacked and ready for washing and to be put away. But in all honestly will never make it on the hanger or in the drawer. At least I do have a great hubby who says I never have to wash dishes again, which Im am surely glad for that, and so far he has kept them up to date and clean which by the way is completely awesome, :) but i am still behind on the cloths and keepin the can clean, so next stop car wash, :)

Other than that God has been teaching me sooo many different things. Through readings and books, and even every day things and quotes and even experiences that I have came across lately. I have really been thinking and pondering on what to do and where God wants to take my family and I. We have been searching as to what it is we are suppose to do with our lives and with our times here in Ky and for the rest of our lives. Media in the church or media in the christian world is something we definitely want to move forward with but after having served most of the last several years in church and giving every second we had available to it we want to touch other through media, new ways to intrigue the mind, to get the creative juices flowing so that others will start to think of things they have never thought or even dreamed of before. God is soo good and amazing that I am simply amazed every second I turn around, he is there, and he is in every thing. Welll that is all for now and all I can think of to write. I am encouraged and knowing that Jesus loves me is all I need to dwell in his arms.

Its like something fell from the sky and hit me on the head.

2011-01-21T18:07:00.000-05:00

Ok so here are somethings I have really been growing in my spirit lately. I always have understood the concept of the Bride and the Bridegroom references in the bible. It has never really clicked in my heart until about a few months back when I went to a womens conference. It wasn't the conference that made it click it was God wooing me to something much much much more than just a regular church mentality. It was simply amazingly wonderful.

I was simple in love for a few days with the lover of my soul. yes it showed in my attitude and everything else. But then I began to fade a little bit and revert back to my old ways.    Then I feel like something fell out of the sky and hit me on the head as to say wake you sleepy head its time to prepare for the wedding day is at hand. My soul awoke and I began what I call wooing, pursuing, and longing to see my King.

You see life is not about, all the problems, events, and troubles we are facing. Its not about going to church to get something or to receive kudos for following a commandment. Its about going past the outer courts and into the Holy of Holies. We take for granted what this means.

I have read through again the God chasers book by Tommy Tenny and I have recently found another one of his books called Finding Favor with the King. I was unsure of reading it for I have heard the Story of Ester soooo many times that I was like I am unsure. Well just so ya know this was the only book by Tommy Tenny which I was looking for his other God chasers, but this was the one for this time.   I hate reading but when I started reading I became engaged and yearning to read more and more.

It was also about pursing the kings heart and not his palace and so he will favor you as his bride. Which I just finished Completely His and few months back which was also on the Bride and some traditions of the Jewish custom.

In reading this book T. Tenny I find that this book is about the modern church and how Esters life really pursues the fact that the church today has gotten lost in the glory of the palace rather than the glory of the king himself as a lover of our soul. We pursue the glory of the place in the blessings, the fame, the I need God to do something for me. I am sick I NEED to be healed, I Need to Sell a House or Ill face forclosure, etc etc the list is endless, We get lost in the outer courts that we never really ever enter the holy of holies because we have not done the proper perpareing to meet the king. We come and complain about sister Margaret is not doing this or that, or she sat in my chair, or what in the world was she yelling like that, or why did they choose this song, or I dont like, this isnt right, etc etc.. You know what I am talking about because I have done the same exact thing. We literally give off an oder in Gods nostrils and smells so bad that he cant even come in the door. We forget the process and the preparation it takes for our hearts to truly seek him for who is he is not what he can do for me.

Church is about God's agenda not about our agendas and plans, Sorry friends my heart is yearning to seek the gaze of his eyes into mine. I want to be held by the King and listen to his heart speak.   See when we are totally intune with his heart our hearts beat as one and what we do is what he would do and there is no need for justification when we truly beat with his heart.

Cloth your self with praise adorn yourself with worship, put on his favorite color, and cry tears and passionate longing from your heart and He will be moved by desire to see his face.

Becoming his bride, once we get this and it truly clicks, the rest of everything else fades, yes life storms around us and things happen, but gazing on his face will guide us to the right place, The wedding supper of the lamb.

Blizzards-He has fire in his eyes, which warms my soul

2011-01-09T01:20:00.001-05:00

This is something cool that God spoke to me as I was driving home from work the other night.

You see I have recently gone back to work and let me just say I am thankful for God provision and timing, with out this job coming right when it did I am just not sure where we would be.

We are currently trying to sell either one of our 2 houses. Yes some say its a good problem to have but in looking at it, not so sure that it is. First of all own 2 houses is advice that I would not give anyone to do. Sell your current one before you purchase a 2nd one. We are left with 2 mortgages and 2 utility payments. Can you say stressed, very stressed. This last past year 2010 was a whirl wind of emotions. Loss of a church that my family was 100 and ten percent dedicated to, loss of friends and acquaintances, loss of self, loss of trust and etc, Going back to work full time, putting my photography business slightly on hold, but still doing it on the side. Adjusting to being a mom, wife, full time employee, and everything else in between all those. So stressed that I longed for the touch, the presence, peace, and everlasting love of the fathers glance at me. I sought it out.

I happen to come across a womens meeting that Evangel was hosting where a awesome author of Every woman's battle, was going to be along with Justin Rizzo and worship leader from international House of Prayer. I went alone with no one.

As I sat and listened to the worship and began to feel something change inside of me, I knew that God was stirring something and becoming me to listen to the next few hours. As I listened and heard the messages brought forth, My love as the Bride of Christ began to unfold. I began to fall in love with Jesus all over again, I didnt have a church home, I was just waiting and listening and feeling his love wash over me. My heart still grieves for what could have been, I still remember and will never forget the good memories I have shared with some really great people.

In all this story of my life paragraphs I said it to say this.

I got off work and stepped outside to discover the ground, parking lot, and cars had be covered in snow in a matter of an hour or less. I was amazed because this was an unforeseen snow, no one was prepared and it showed on the way home. As I began to drive I could feel every bone in my body tighten up as I peeled my eyes to the road or what I thought was the road. As I began to drive I noticed that the city had obviously been unprepared and the roads were unsalted and uncleared. Sliding and slipping as I drove I finally made it to the watterson express way. Well let me say that usually 5 min drive on that express way, lasted way longer than it was suppose to. People had no direction, no since of surroundings, the lanes in the road were non visible, cars were guessing where they think they should be, It was a complete mess. Then it started snowing so hard that visibility was minimal and for a sec I thought I may never get home, lll freeze if I have to spend the night in my van, Little did I know that as I kept going despite what was blowing and churning around me. that I kept going, I never once looked back, I never once said, Im done, ok this is too impossible, I kept going, I gazed on his eyes and nothing else around me mattered any longer.

God said this is who you are and this is what I desire for my people. To be warriors, not giving up or in, even if you slip and slide keep holding tight to me even if its by a thread on the hem of my garment. My children I desire a dept of love so gazed on me that it dosent matter where you step or the path you walking, all that matters is that you are looking at me, through me, and wanting more of me.

Wow I am amazed every day at the insight he gives on every day situations, how he has a plan and purpose for everything. I am his bride and he is my beloved. I long to gaze upon the fired in his eyes, His name is Jesus!!

Fanitical Love!

2010-11-29T14:26:00.002-05:00

So recently I have been hearing Christians say, we need to get back to the way church is suppose to be, or the way it use to be. So this has been something I have been praying on, thinking about and asking God for the direction I should take.

Photographed by Me Anna Marie Garcia Photography

With this said if your reading my blog you either know me, stumbled up on my blog while searching for something else, or you just want to see if I have any juicy subjects to spill. Well what ever the case my be I want to share this and I hope you see what I am saying and what has been on my heart.

God is Good all the time and all the time Good. This is a saying I have heard over a million times in church and it becomes a clishe or another rituaita that gets passed on for generations. If we were quicker to guard our mouths and reverence our words as though we were only rationed a few to speak a day, I think that we would put more thought into what Came of out our mouths and what we allowed in.

Soo with that thinking about the way church is suppose to be or needs to get back to or whatever term that has been used lately.

I look back to when John the baptist started baptizing people in the Jordan river. I kinda think that was an out of the box idea. He wasnt really affiliated with anyone other than Jesus. He wasnt baptizing for an agenda or propaganda he was simply doing something that well others didnt think about. For example the traditional way was be baptized in certain setting, or water dipped from a bowl(which there is nothing wrong that) or wearing a certain clothing. John was simply spreading the Good news of Jesus and preparing the hearts and giving hope to those who were in their regular clothes, regular lives, and just regular people. JOhn the baptist himself wasnt a well grommed man, he at locost and lived in the wild. now today if there was a man down at the river baptising people who looked like John did, I think we would think he was a little fanitical. Funny thing is soo did the people of Johns day, so did the traditional Church think that he was off his rocker just a tad. They meaning the "churched" folk were so caught up in traditional things that they simply overlooked the very thing that they needed and that was change.

If you look at each disciple and the apostles you think that each one was a member of something that not many people were able to join. I am sure they were looked on as a cult, or as some kind of fantastical running around causing trouble and creating disorder in the land. Think of their boldness to walk up to blind and lame men only to heal them instantly, Dont you think that would have been a little crazy, to witness and especially when in those days, things like that didnt happen until this Jesus guy showed. I dont have a PHd or MD or even a degree in christian thinking or thought or anything. But I do see that church today still has the same meaning, same hang ups, same discord, same issues as the church back in the day did. They want to run the show, they want to be in charge, you have to be this way to be here, if you disagree you are a fanitical and crazy, you cause disruption, or This is how the church does this so this is how its going to be done. Mind you I do understand rules and such, but when it becomes more about the laws and regulations and traditions than it does about the loving, merciful grace of God who sent Jesus his Son, Him in the flesh to walk the earth with us to be with us, He desired us soo much that he took on our form and took beatings and mocking yet he still loved and forgave us. WOW, So what do we think about church getting back to its roots now. its about getting back to being different, outside the box, non traditional all the time, and getting our hands dirty to reach out to those who need Jesus. Not to be ashamed of the one who created us and wants our love and the bride that we are. He wants us, he desires his people not a cliche of churchness and churched folk. But hearts of people who long after his an desire him and follow where he leads no matter where he will lead. Sometimes that means doing something differently than what ya been doing. I wanna be a fanitic for you lord help me to be outside the box, standing for those who desperately need your touch. God Breathe your renewed life on me and create a fanatical love only you can give.

Looking into the heart, and this is what I see

2010-10-24T14:49:00.000-04:00

For the record type of Blog.

I know that I am not perfect and I am a person in need of a savior every day of my life.

I have began to study, the different crazy, mind, blowing things that have taken place in the Bible. I was watching one of my favorite cartoons the other night about Moses. Yes Prince of Eqypt. My son begged to watch it in the van and all I could here was the audio. As I listened to the part where moses finds the burning bush when he went looking for the lost lamb and I hear moses question God and God comes back with his strength in instill faith and a reverance fear of him. He Reminded moses of what all he had done. Creation of the world. The part I hear is who made mans mouth did not I. Wow that Gets to me. As I will question why it is I do what I do. People may think, I am supporting a man, over looking sins because I want to be in his fan club, or what ever. But they are failing to see the point I am making and the point really is not for them to understand anyways. Bear with me as I explain. Through my studing through out the Bible recently I have seen where time and time again that God proved to do some really awesome and crazing things to help people understand what it was he was trying to convey. The real meaning of everything he is trying to get us to understand is his love for us. Every thing he has done and all the miracles are his way of showing how much he willing to do for his Bride, and his ultimate price was Giving Jesus to the world so that we would see a fleshly relevance to a spiritual world. How can wen understand the spiritual when we are not spiritually pure beings. we had to see it in the flesh and see what the love of the bridegroom feels like for his bride and the willingness to sacrifice his own life and love for us. I remember hearing a story of some hikers that were hiking in a snowy mountainous area and they got stuck on the side of a mountain and there was a man and a women newly weds I think. Inorder for the mans bride to be saved he had her lay on his body so she would not freeze to death which in turn took his life. Wow!!!! Such love, and yet there is one who have done this for all of us and yet we still dont see the point.

So as you look through time and time again at the children of Israel and their lives and all they have went through, and you see there were times that they didnt some pretty, blasphemous things, and also made idols time and time again and blatantly turned from God and YET He still extended grace and mercy and a everlasting love for his chosen.

That brings me to why I do what I do. If you critize or disagree with me then thats ok but what I do isnt for you. Its for those looking in from the outside scheme of things. Its for those I see at work who need to see that no matter what they feel like they have done, they can see that the Jesus I know will expend grace and mercy to them. I hope that those reading will see my point will see my understanding and see that I want those who need to know that I am not a Critical Christian, I am not going to beat a bible in their brains( which only makes for more hearden hearts). I want to see souls saved, changed and free from bondage, not put in the bondage of Religious Christianity and beats others down. You can say what you will or believe what you may, but as for me and my house where Gods go we go, and what God says do we do. Even if it means others dont understand or dont have a clue.

Today God called me by my name and said Anna, this is where I want you, for such a time as this, for a time to be a gap filler so that sinners will see a person and family that is willing to be uncomfortable and unresitricted and not bound by others so that I might be available to the others who will need a Christian that dosent look at the mess but looks at the heart and soul.

2010-10-10T20:24:00.000-04:00

So I have been working a week now, Im still in training and will be for a month or so, So I wont be able to really say yes I like this or not, but for now one point has driven home to me lately and this is what it is.

This is what you make of it. What you put in is what you get out.

This concept rings true to any area of our lives. Its kind of funny how if we pay attention enough we can find the most important things out of life its self.

Time: There is never enough time in day. We spend most of it working, watching tv or surfing the net or on facebook. Its just funny how life works. I worried that going to work I would be sooo afraid that I might loose my kids affection and I wouldnt be as motherly to them because I wasnt at home. In one week I find out that Ryder loves being with grandma and dom loves going to the Ymca. He actually begged to go back. The things we often fear the most are the things that we actually find can be rewarding and Very not what we expected. So Time is what you make of it. If you make it quality you get quality if you spend it meaning less what you get is well meaningless.

One morning while driving into work I felt the protection of God and closness that I have never felt before it was actually amazing to feel him as if he was sitting in the care right next to me. Simply amazing it what it was. In that time I feel that God sees me for me and he knows me and yet he still loves me. I havent given up on what I know God is trying to say to me. I havent given up on what I felt he was telling me to do and what he was saying. I am sooo at the point that I dont care what you think of me or any one else. I could care less. Why because God knows me and my intentions and my love for him is like none other. I am his bride and I am loving it.

Opportunities: Well they are what we make of them. We have oppurtunities that are right infront of us everyday of our lives, We see them but yet we dont see the fact that we are blind by our own selves to run with the doors that are opened to us. We can see them because we are focused on earthly things we are not focused on the bridegroom and his ways for our lives. We miss it and dont make nothing of it and still CRY why me. This is good.

Whether its your Job, your life, your family, your friends, your church, your city, your wallet,

Carpe diem sieze the day. Make the most of it, Make it your own, do your best and Put in with out wanting anything in return, do it as if Jesus was sitting right next to you. We are carriers of the GLORY when we are his Bride and if we dont take advantage and take hold of it then are boldness fades, we miss it and we dont ever expect something more for ours lives.

Willing ........

2010-10-02T18:11:00.001-04:00

Ok ok ok, so here is a very important topic that has been swirling and swirling inside of me.

In light of recent events a passion has been growing inside of me like never before. I have often wondered what a church would look like with truly no walls, no limits, no boundaries.   Now some of us need limits and boundaries but I am not talking about physical or emotional or laws or standards. I am speaking of the spiritual. No spiritual limits or boundaries. What would that look like. Now some of us will be quick to quote all the scriptures that in the view point of your situation may agree with you. But in order to look at what God is really saying we should really look at what the world was like at that time, what situation was the context written in and we actually will get what more of God's heart is saying. We can quote scriptures by them selves and thats good and all but sometimes we have to see what it was written and what it was written for.

So with that said.

I have often thought about spiritual limits and boundaries we put on our churches. We decide who gets to do this and that. We decide what happens pretty much. If we like you your in and if we dont then not so much. We argue about petty things, and when I mean THINGS I am talking about material possessions. Our focus gets way off God, which is where the devil wants us so he can surprise attack. while we argue about carpets, tiles, pews, seats, lighting, cameras, sound, childrens depts, teens, this and that, this and that, what has our focus become???   Just a question or thought.

Instead of classifying people into these are the bads ones or troubled ones, gay, lesbians, theifs, etc etc I could go on a on and on. We put people in a box, we think we are praying for them to be set free all the while we are chaining them up. If you go into help someone in need whether its homeless or whatever and you drive an expensive car or you walk up in 100 shoes or make up and jewelry what does that say about u. I mean we want to scream dont judge me but we have haughty attitudes, we have the crusaders mentalities. We act like that in a poor neighborhood God doesn't exist and we are bringing the light to them. When more times then not they have better attitudes and spiritual walks with God than we could ever dream of having. If you read the context of the proverbs and psalms the poor is mentioned many times and the majority it talks about God is with them and they are blessed.

Then this brings me to where our society talking mainly about Americans and we tend to serve Mammon rather than God, I am talking about money here. We dont realize that God has been replaced with our wants to prosper. yes God blesses us, but those blessings come in many different ways, for example Good friends, blessed womb of a barren woman, Children, grandparents, families. Etc etc. Knowing God's heart Money becomes sooo much more less and less. yes it would be nice to have believe me, but then where would our faith be? Where would our trust be? Materialistic is what we have become. We didnt realize that what we are actually serving is money. Ouch yes I know I might be stepping on your toes. If we feel God is leading us somewhere, then we dont have to beg and plead for the funds or the things we need. God will supply.   Sometimes that supply might be in a job, or donation, or a money tree(prob not the tree) but whatever God chooses is a form of provision and blessings.

I want a place sooo bad it isnt funny but I also want to see those who are soo unloved, troubled, sick, hurting, dying spiritually to come to Jesus.   I want a place that a man can walk in wearing a dress, carrying a purse, and wearing make up walk in to with out a glace of the righteous sending darting glares of unworthiness. Where they make the change because they were accepted in their present state but it was God who spoke to them and it was God breathed his life into their sleeping soul. This is a true story of a very dear friend of mine. If it wasnt for a place like that, I would not know this friend of the family. Countless stories of others who could walk into a place and just weep and not be questioned but it is really God who speaks to them and touches their hearts.

We have to start equaling out the playing field and let others see that they are just the same level and special to God as anyone else. You status on Earth has nothing to do with your status in heaven. That Goes for Preachers, teachers, evangelist, as well. We put people in high places only that when they fall we stomp on them like their mud sending back to where God made them from. Reality is the reason we are so hurt and disappointing in others is because we place a value on them that is really much more than we should. yes accountability should be great and leaders should lead with respect and integrity but when they have no accountability I mean those willing to tell someone as nathan did to david.

You may agree or not agree with me. you may feel like I am totally crazy. But remember it is God who gives us the choice to choose. The real question is will we distract someone, or others but the way we look at them, the way we talk to them, the things we do in general, we will portray humility or will our arrogance shine. Will we say look at what a Great Job we did to help the homeless when in reality many of us our one bad mistake or payment away from being with no home. That is just one example, it could be helping a old woman across the street, come to find out she didnt need our help and we where actually holding her back. Or we we see a drunk on the street and we cast a shame shadow instead of praying for them and realizing that there is way more to why they are like they are. We are all in need of a savior every day. humbleness, faithfulness, desire to want to know God more in our hearts, yearning to hear him and sit at his feet, yielded vessels, not consumed by things, but willing to be outside of the box, willing to accept people for their situations all the while realizing the situations we are in ourselves,   willing to do... whatever it is that is asked , regardless of the nay Sayers and slanders, Willing....

Eyes of the father, my bridegroom

2010-09-25T15:54:00.000-04:00

How do you see with your eyes? What kind of Filter do you see through? What is your purpose? Do you believe it? Are you confident in it?

So the last few days have been a time of totally getting into the presence of God. Started with Eddie James and his team. Of course I got blessed and all the while I heard spoke over me, more of his anointing, fire lord, more more more. This was at Eddie James prayer line. Then the next night which was friday when the lady who was praying the conference prayed over me it was almost around 10:20pm. But her message was the same, more anointing, more fire, more more more more.

So why this is soooo significant is that I have been in the desert place for quite sometime now, wondering and hoping and praying why cant I feel what God had for me, I don't I feel the fire, I wanted it and I sooo desired it. The connect and change prob started a few weekends ago at another women conference where I felt some literally hindrances break off me. Then to walk into the last 2 days open and ready to Take on the bride of Christ that I was ment to be. I was positioned divinely, not only have I been filled to a greater capacity I feel that I now have a new heart and its his heart.

There were two examples of what I believe Gods heart is and why I feel like I have it. First time was at eddie james. I saw a young man and I was burden with his soul and the bondage that I could see on his life. Intercession began and Gods heart was desperate for this young mans heart to be his. He was like a stone, no facial expressions, His face was a solid rock in the midst of crying, jumping, worshiping, and freedom, He was sooo greatly bound. I saw him standing there and it really scared me to see a young man that so purposly choose not to want to change and it looked as if would rather be bound. My prayer and intercession has reached new levels which in praying for him... This story I hope to find out will be a great one once his heart belongs to the lord. Its a war people, if we thinks its not we are grealty mistaken. We need to war after souls.

Number 2 encounter actually happened with a lady we will call Judy. Judy was a woman I met all because a friend decided she wanted to go to a christian bookstore that was never where we had lunch. I was reluctant at first but then decided ok why not walk over there. At that time I never knew that this walk was for Judy. So we looked around the christian book store for a bit and then when it came time to leave there was Judy. A lady who looked weathered, tired, and a little discombobulated. She walked out before we left. A few minutes went buy as we were walking out of the store and on to side walk. Judy was showing a shirt she purchased from a christian bookstore to a gentlemen I assume she knew and who I felt was being not so nice to her, that a nice way of saying it. When I saw the hurt in her eyes and something in me jumped, what I walked into felt I needed to do something. We continued to walk until we came around the corner so I could look back at Judy as now she was sitting in a passenger side seat and the man what now at her door talking to her but facing with his but in her face. First of all when I see a man abuse a women it makes me really flare up, whethers its mental, physical, or spiritual abuse I get heated. So My friend and I talked about it and we felt the same way so she said lets go pray for her. As we approached her window and asked to pray with her you could see the hurt and sadness in her eyes. We prayed for her and the first thing she said was you don't know how much that ment to me. you will never know. She said I was a spirit filled christian who use to be in church but backslid, she said I know that he is there for me. I know that I left him and he didn't leave me. Wow, she was struggling and a mess and she knew the root of it. It seems that sometimes we just need to her from our own lips what we have know down inside for a long time. This was the walk for Judy. Maybe the one glace I gave her or my friend gave her was a divine appoint to see a hurting people. Taking ministry to the streets and just being an open vessel at any moment and be willing and open to see with the heart of God.

Obedience and doing what we Gods heart says is one of the most wonderful feelings. Today I gave a word in the womens meeting. To be honest I feel like it was hard word. maybe not a popular one of everything is going to be ok, life is peachy, or even an encouraging one. It was a call of obedience a call of wanting an wooing the heart of his people. It was the king calling for his Bride. I am not sure who heard it, or who listened to it because I was soo heavy, God was in the room and he wanted willing vessels to be used and to dance and glory in his presence. In some ways I question that I must have gave the wrong one because it was a heavy one. No claping and joyous outburst, but it was a plea for us to dance deeper with him. To take the steps of seeing and taking our purpose as the bride of christ. Yes an awakening but our main purpose was we were created to be a pleasing and blessing to the Lord. We were created because he wanted a person and being that would desire him even they r given the choice for something else. He wants us to glory and bask int he presence of the creator the author of life. oh how he loves me.

I dont know if those who heard it understood what he wanted, He wanted more more more more and a deepness and I could have stayed there for a long time just sitting in his presence. Once we get closer to the heart of the bridegroom, the father and see as he sees. its a beautiful love dance for our souls. He is dancing in hope that we will answer back.

Under HIS Wing!!!

2010-09-14T11:11:00.001-04:00

This last weekend has been a life changing time for me. Many may not understand but something clicked in me. I think that I was at the point in my life that I was angry inside and I felt so distant from God. We all have ups and down in Christianity but its how we handle it that matters in the difference in our attitudes and our walk.

Our walk with Christ should be one continual victory, not victim mentality, who is me, look at me I have been through soo much. Yes we should speak on our testimony and share that but the glory should not be in the testimony circumstances but in the one who brought you out of it. So yes there is a difference about freedom and living as the Bride of Christ, which is true freedom.

So a lot has happened in the past several weeks with me. Yes there was some church hurt left overs but personally my family has be stretched to its limits with owning 2 houses and some others things along with that. One thing that I have learned is that life isn't about how sad I am but its about walking as the Bride of Christ.

Yes I keep saying the Bride of Christ and many people don't want to equate intimate thoughts with Jesus. But this is what I mean. Once we accept that Jesus offered his life freely to us at his first communion he extended the cup as a representation of him, some may not realize that this in Jewish customs was done when a groom offers the cup to his potential bride. The groom negotiates a high price for her and then he extends the cup to her and if she drinks of it then its her way of accepting his love and that she is free to know that she is secure in his love.

Do we as a christian believing people really believe and accept the freedom that his love gave us. He did it freely, so there wasn't really a price to be paid, it was act of love, which means there is no obligation for us to have to serve him because he gave his life. We should serve him because we desire to love him and we desire him and because we want to. We we totally accept and become vulnerable that under the shadow of his wing is where we are safe in his love, There is a protection, security that that brings.

I know that I am loved by him, I am his Bride and I am truly free to live to walk in victory knowing that whatever comes my way God will defend because under his wings I am safe and secure and he is my refuge.

Churches have caught the wave of all the free and freedom songs that can be sung in church are. But do we really understand what free means??

Here are some definitions that I find interesting considering they didn't come from a spiritual place or book but from a regular dictionary off the internet.

unconfined: free expansion Not fixed in position; capable of relatively unrestricted motion,Not bound, fastened, or attached .Given, made, or done of one's own accord; voluntary or spontaneous,Unconstrained; Costing nothing; gratuitous,Unobstructed,Unguarded in expression or manner; open; frankTaking undue liberties; forward or overfamiliar. Not imprisoned or enslaved; being at liberty,Not controlled by obligation or the will of another,Not subject to a given condition exempt unconstrained,free or remove obstruction from,not held in servitude,absolve: let off the hook,release....grant freedom 2; free from confinement,dislodge: remove,able to act at will; not hampered; not under compulsion or restrain

I want you to ponder those definitions for a minute and see if those change your perspective of free and what it means.

Jesus free gave his life for us to be unconfined, unrestricted, not bound, unobstructed, not imprisoned or enslaved, not controlled by obligation not held in servitude, absolve, released, granted freedom. Wow this really enlightens me to see that there is soo much security in knowing that when I truly accept that he is my groom that he will take care of me, he will protect me, I don't have to worry, I don't even have to repay, that he is not expecting that I do the same, but he desires that I love him and give back to him because I want to do it because of his love not to get anything in return or out of obligation but out of love.

A whole new concept. This even equates into our relationships. I don't want friends who feel obligated to, or just because, or feel guilty I want friends to be around because they want to.

To walk in freedom of accepting the love that he has for us and what it really means is a whole new thing, its something many don't understand. Yes we accept Jesus in our hearts and we love him and he has changed us but we don't see what he is really saying when it comes to the love he has for us,

Oh how he loves us, oh how he loves us.!!!!!!

Under his wings I will be, under his wing I will scaled the mountains, under his wing i will slay the enemy, under his wing will I abide, I am secure I am loved under his wing is where I want to be,

In his arms..

2010-08-30T16:19:00.000-04:00

It funny(ironically) how life can hit you all at once, everything that can go wrong does and then some.
In the process called life and what it brings I am always learning new things. Friendships and what the value of that is and what it really means. What is my passion in life and how much I miss it. Stress, how much I just desire peace and long for a time of peace. everything happens for a reason or because of decisions. One thing I have watched and learned is that we must all be daily reading the word and praying with Jesus. When you dont constantly stay in tune with Jesus you start to wonder off in all directions or you dont make the right direction choices.

I have been pondering lots of things lately and about life can really distract us for what we are designed to do. We are designed to be companions to the one who created us. He was kind enough of to create us with our own will and ambtions in hopes of taking a chance on us that we would ultimately choose him rather than everything around us.

The Author Of Life created us knowing there was a chance we would do our own things and listen to the snake in the tree. He took that chance and we humans failed him, did he give up on us. No he let us figure things out on own that we would desire him back. As a punishment to adam and Eve he sent them out of the garden as a way of saying you didnt trust me that I would take care of you so now you will learn what trust means and what believing in me means. Wow that is an awesome thought.

Also when Jesus was going through the greatest struggle of all times with his flesh verses what he knew he must do. Judas was always around standing in the side lines awaiting for his role to be fulfilled. Jesus knew Judas was going to betray him he knew that!!! But yet he still loved Judas and still kept him around. Maybe it was to fulfill destiny but I also like to think that Jesus would have forgave him. Jesus was still going to the cross regardless of Judas. Why didnt Judas come back to Jesus in repentance? I often wonder if it was the wispering amoung his fellow brothers the disciples that could have caused him to be soooo ashamed that Judas already being a weak mind couldnt recover and ultimately choose death. Wow what a sad sad thought. We never know the lives that we can change for the good or bad when we make decisions or when we choose to wisper or when we choose to live a life outside of relationship with Jesus. If we truly are living in truth of Jesus and we are truly fulfilling God's will the struggle wont be as hard as we make it out to be. We can find peace where there seems to be none. If we are willing to just sit in the arms of Jesus and rest a while and open every deep dark place in our hearts and truly give it to God never to pick it up again. How free could we be. How forgiving could we be. What mountains could that move.

People are always going to be people. Lets face it that is what life is about. But Jesus stood in that gap for all of us to be able to really open our hearts and truly serve him in everything we do. If it dosent glorfy him then maybe we should rethink what is about to be said or done.

Decisions are never easy but making them while having a relationship with Jesus makes it a lot more peaceful and right. Decisions may not be popular with friends or family but also long as they are with God then nothing else matters.

Sterotypers Sterotype

2010-08-21T23:23:00.000-04:00

Today I went to take a test for a company. Well one of the questions was something like this do you believe when some one has been put into a sterotype that it is true? True of False answers.

I answered No. But when I came home and sitting in the quiet of the evening this quesiton became so real to me. We as Christians and humans classify people, we sterotype people every day and dont even realize that we are cutting people off or not givening them as change to be some other than the sterotype we put on them. Ouch I need a band aid for that one.

How many times have we said something or believed something about someone and then in fact was the opposite. We also look at past mistakes and classify people that way too. All the while hiding our own sins and mistakes.

A Stero type are belifes that a person is a certain way based on assumptions.

Why do we not go and find the truth about someone for our selves, why dont we take the time to see what someone is really like, what they are going through, and to look deep in their soul and see valuable beautiful beings that God has created in his image. We all have been created like him so in turn we reflect a part of him. So when we stero type someone and classify them by their sins, or by the way they look, or by whatever it is saying that God dosent know what he is doing, and that we dont trust him.

Too often we try to take matters in our own hands and punish or give up on someone because we feel the need to sever relationships. But did Jesus ever sever his relationship with us just because things Got bad, ulgy, nasty and dirty? Just a thought.

He may back off and let us kick and scream to have it our way but then bam he is right there to pick us up. Im sooo tired of Judgment throughing people. The fact is we are sterotyping and handing out judgments and turning people off to Jesus.

My prayer is that I really dont want to be a sterotyper. I dont want to cut someone off because I feel uncomfortable or non confrontational.

Lord help me to serve others like I am serving you. help me to see in to there heart and be able to help them by your grace, mercy and everlasting love. Your love oh Lord is higher than the mountains and your love is deeper than the seas.

Drift wood

2010-08-15T20:40:00.000-04:00

Bear with me as I tend to think of things in detail and depth. I like to shed new light on things.

Drift wood is wood that is from a natural disaster or a breaking up of or something such as a flood hurricane, etc.

When something happens in a persons life. No matter what it is can have devastaing effects on those that person. One issue with someone might not be as big of a deal as some other occuance in another persons life, if that make sense. So no matter the cause of the breaking or shattering it hurts nonetheless.

Sometimes people are strayed about as if they are drift wood in the river of God. These are people that are just drifting because their lives have been shattered by one reason or another. They have suffered great mishaps or things very important to them have crumbled. So their lives have been broken apart into pieces in the river and they are just floating not knowing where they will end up, but at this point they are not fighting the current but they are now flowing with it to see where it takes them. I know this can be seen as something dark and like depression but if you look at it with different view point you can see that sometimes all we can do is just flow in him or his presence and be willing to stop fighting where he is taking us.

There is a reason for everything I like to say, no matter what happens in life all things work together for those who love God. He will redirect us and repostion us to places we could never imagine.

As a piece of drift wood lands on the shore of a new place and new sand it begins to realize that this new place isnt so bad and that the coca nut tress are really pretty. Then it begins to dry in the sun and suddenly it is wisked away. The drift wood not realizing that in due time has been created into a beautiful piece of Art by a greatly skilled carpenter. The carpenter has given the drift wood a new life and now has more meaning and a brighter future that ever before.

Re purposed and repositioned drift wood is what I long for. Re purposed handcrafted by the greatest author of Life.

Redirection and Repositioning

2010-07-28T15:50:00.000-04:00

I feel lead to share this and I hope that it is seen as my heart for others. I am not gonna dare say in the process of life I have been perfect or ever will be perfect.

In hard times it is sooo easy to remember the bad things and focus on the hard times that are going on around us that we forget the many lives that have been touched. I always say that God is going to be God no matter if we get in the way of it or not. Sooo many people have been touched by Jesus at New Vision Ministry Center. Yes even in the last few months at our new building which is now the old building. People walked in the building for example when church wasnt happening and you could tell they were brought there with tears in their eyes because Jesus was there.

Over the last several years God has drawn many people to him despise us and what we make of things. I am not talking about the failures of Just one. I am talking about the failure of the church as a whole. I have many opinions on the matter and have seen a lot of behind the scenes things. I just want to Give God the praise for all he has done despite our human nature. Be assured that God makes us all accountable for the things we do, know, say, speak, and act. Despite the obvious there are many things that God has seen and has been disappointed with in ALL of us. But as I look at all the different type of people, and different types of lives, and what God has done it amazes me.

I have personally worked with several people who would have never came inside a Regular church to be honest if I had know it was a Church of God church I prob would have never stepped in the front door and I have been saved all my life since I was six when I was filled with the Holy Spirit. I have seen alot in my 21 years as a christian. People are looking for a church that can feel that they are able to walk into and fit right in. They are looking for a place that dosent scream change or go to hell. I think we as a church as a whole all over the world are afraid to truly open our doors and let anyone in. In a recent service I heard well if someone disagrees with you or causes trouble what u do is compliment them and walk them to the door and then say Go find another church. WOW that blew my mind as I sat and thought about Jesus eating with those tax collectors, street people, and those deemed as "find another church type of people." If we are going to be a church that represents Jesus then lets truly represent him and let him change the hearts and minds of people, not rush them out door cause we are afraid of confrontation. Lets remember if Jesus is on our side he gives us the words and things to speak to be able to penetrate even the most unpentratable people.

We also started the online services being broadcast which allowed those sick and those who might not want to come to church visit. There were those who even paid tithe through the online church. Who knows how many lives were touched by the internet broadcast. There was even a man that is deemed unreachable watching some of our services.   There were many good things and many good people. I want us to remember that, because lives were changed because of Jesus.

I am tired of Church as the Norm. I am tired of Church politics and how people act. One minute they love you and the next well not so much.   Yes my family was hurt in the process and that is what the devil delights in. Not in the sin as much as how humans act when the pressure is on and stress comes. It really tests are true character.

I have been in churches all my life and have seen so many pastors come and go, and have seen alot of things. It amazes me that seemingly the same process continues and we wonder why are churches are falling apart. We have to be careful listen to our heart (which is the holy spirit if it lives in side of us) tell us to do.

My family has been redirected and repositioned to a new direction for a time. Many may question, many will think what they will but I will follow God no matter what any says, thinks, opinionates about me. He is my ultimate Judge:)

We have to start looking at the Good in things rather than all the bad that is going on and happening. As New Vision has came to a close I am proud that I was a part of the many lives that were touched and changed forever through that ministry. I am sad that it is no more. I have to part from the new congregation that has formed because one thing and that is I feel that I am released from there. Not just because of the hurts but because I want to truly be effective on what God has called me and my family to do. My prayers are that the new church moves forward for what God has called them to do and that they listen to his every direction.

I am looking forward the brighter things ahead and what God is going to do through us. Sometimes you realize that if something takes away from the time you spend with God and your family then it needs to get revaluated. If we dont reevaluate then he will do it for us.   That is how much he loves us. He initiates the steps we need to take for reevaluation and repositioning.

I am repositioned and reevaluated and ready for greater things to come. I am ready for his presence to consume and over take me. Im ready to share what Jesus has done for me not just because it what a good christian is suppose to do, but because my relationship with Jesus is soooo strong that I want others to know the love that he has for ALL. ALL Every person is valuable, no matter their flawes, there is always hope for someone and If no one else thinks so then I want to find it. Cant wait Cant wait Im ready and Im stepping out of the doors of building to do something more for Jesus:)

Beacon in the Dark!

2010-07-09T00:14:00.001-04:00

Have you ever took a step in the dark hoping you wouldn't step on a lego or toy? I do this quite often:)(2 boys who love legos) A sigh of relief fills the air as my foot plants softly on the floor with no harm to my foot, but that soon fades as my foot rises once again to take that next step.

Only if we could totally trust the dark we wouldn't have this problem or if we could trust our kids to put away their toys. This got me to thinking about how we should trust God. No matter where you are in life you may not see right away where your feet will land but know that God will guide you to the right places. Its when we try to guide our own steps when we stumble on the toys or things left lying around.

As a Child of God I want to make sure that my walk is humble and that I can be a reliable and relate able person to others who are in need of help, praying, friend to talk to, etc My trust in God has to shine through so others will see that they too can totally trust him to take care of their needs. If my faith is wavering and I am literally a mess its really hard for others to see that faith works. Not saying life has to be or is perfect but saying we should always watch our actions and how we deal with things because you never know who is watching.

For example say someone has done you wrong and you openly are glad they are having trouble. Or you even secretly delight in their pain or suffering cause they deserved it. Well God see's your reaction and your heart in that dealing. He sees what choices you have before you and that is to spread life or death on your own soul. By taking joy in another suffering actually brings you one step closer or away from the life that you need to be close to the father.

Every decision whether its taking part in a bad joke at work, be negative, or woe is me, or everyone hates me, or by being depressed all the time and not partaking in the JOY of the Lord even when don't feel like it. Not matter what we must always take a step back and see that we are never far way from letting our selves partake in sin. So we must always watch and trust God to lead us and guard our hearts by the making choices that keeps us closer to him and not farther away from him.

I want to be a light in the dark place, I want to walk in the dark so that my light for Jesus will shine brighter than before. If a candle is always in a lite room how effective is it until it hits the dark then its seen from all around. Thats where I want to be!! Let the Lord guide me through the dark so those who live in the dark will see the light and be able to know you because I was a beacon in the dark.

I am a branch in the tree of life, Question is am I a dying one or a living one?

2010-06-24T14:41:00.003-04:00

Where u lead I will Follow!

This morning I woke and decided to venture out by my self. I usually hate being alone but today I was all by myself. So I decided to go to Bernheim Forest. I needed to clear my head and to sit in the peace of nature and just relax my mind and soul. I also wanted some time to be able to take some picts a secret passion I have, that has been dormant because of the busyness of life. Here are some of the picts I took today that give u an idea of why I took them and what I see spiritually.

The pict to the right is one I like to call where you lead I will follow. As the path gets out of view and the tree blocks the future I feel God is saying just take one step at a time and I will lead you. Sometimes we tend to forget that we cant control anyone or thing but our selves and actions. So today for me God was saying I will lead so start following.

As I walked around this morning I focused on the nature of God's creation. The beauty and Majesty of the world in which we live. The world that he plays so much a part in creating. We tend to forget the creativity, majesty, and how much he cared about the details that we over them. If he cared about helping a flower by creating pollen so that flowers would still grow despite our circumstances. WOW. How beautiful the creator is!! Yes, my favorite flower is the Dazy. Dazys scream flower children from the 60's and 70's. But I see the simplexity of it. Its white pedals which to me represents the purity of life that God brings and the yellow center symbolizes how alive God is and the vitality that he brings to the earth. He wants us to live with a center that is full of life.
Then I pan out and see the whole picture of dazies together and I cant help but to feel that God created groups of flowers flowing from one plant for a reason. To show strength in numbers, to show how important each flower it to the bush. Some flowers had broken pedals, others were clean and spotless, some were smaller, some were larger, They were all different but grew from one plant base. Wow to the concept of this Type of thinking. When we pan out and see the bigger picture. We see we are not alone. We are among many others and God created us to work together to flow as one in unity with one purpose. To glorify his name and to show others his wonderful works.

This picture screams peace to me. Kentucky peace. This is a place I just want to take my shoes of and enjoy the soft grass and enjoy the sound of the tree swaying back and forth. Awesome and good for the troubled soul. When u find your in a place of unrest and confusion get to a place of silence and he will speak.

This picture is of the statue in the far back which is names "Let there be light" its looks a little weird but it was designed to be a place that Christians can go to have a place of silence and to here God. Wow didnt know that till I was there and read about it and the purpose of bernheim. When I sat at the top and just listened this is what I feel like God wanted to say. "It was me who made the world, it was me who created the very ground you walk on, it was me who formed the clouds, it was me who made the sea, it was me who formed the mountains. I am the one who spoke you into existence. It was me who made all living things to work together to become part of something much bigger, much greater than anyone can ever imagine. IT WAS ME!!!!!!!. I am after you I made I know you. I guide you and I direct you and I can see what you cant see. I know what you dont know. Im am the one who formed you in your mothers womb. It was ME!!!!"

Then I looked out and this is a picture that i took and I feel it was one way to assure me that he sees the bigger picture and its amazing.

God is amazing and everything that he has created is a wondrous site. I can see my self dancing before him in the grass with flags, banners, instruments, and I could go on. Wow what a wonderful savior that would created such a beautiful place just for me and because someone listened to his voice and made this area a holy place, it blessed me this morning.

One more pict. This one was of a tree of course duhhh. but the reason I took this picture is to remind myself the he is vine, he is the main part of the tree and we are his branches. We are to be an Extension of him. We must be able to show others that we are Christ like because we are connected to the main line.

That means in words we speak, things we listen to, and the actions we take when the tough gets going. We are accountable for every word we speak. We like to use this when we are in tough situations to blast our enemy. But if we read closer in the word it states for us NOT to delight when our enemy falls because the lord will have mercy on them. So we must make sure that our hearts are clean from bitterness, anger, unforgivness, and any unclean thing, the hardest things about our selves that we want to push away and hide. If we harbor those things this will make us die, like a branch that is no longer connected to the tree it falls and shrivels and dies because it has been cut off from the life source. Those are the very things that when we need to give to God so we can truly walk in the freedom he has called us to walk in. Not matter our position, calling, or whatever. God has called us to live a life of Christ like behavior and To be accountable for everything we say, think, act, do or criticize. We must make our hearts open to him and let go and let God be the victor and not the devil. Open your heart today and ask God what it is that is hindering your walk, what is getting in your way. You might be surprised and what the answer will be. Open the eyes of my heart that I might see you, lord. Say that today right now. Dont be afraid to show him what is deep inside and he will help you heal, make right, and cleanse the depths of your heart.

Point of View~ Who's are you looking through?

2010-06-18T14:46:00.003-04:00

I have pondered, prayed, and listen to what to write in my next blog. For the last several weeks, months, and years I have been in a waiting period which I am still in. I feel like I have been silenced by God for the Restoration time.

Sometimes we can get caught up in doing good, speaking the truth, trying to help situations but in looking at a bigger scale of things we are indeed making them worse. I feel that God will bring to light the truth and we don't even have to do anything. Sometimes things happened to open the eyes of others. You can look at this in many ways. 1 view is too look from the outside looking in. I have heard from many outside parties stating wow Christians have a hard time forgiving and loving each other when it gets tough. Thats 1 reason I have heard from people not wanting to attend churches is because Christians bring an extra added Drama to the scene and many hurts occur in churches.

The apostles didnt follow each other for the very reason they couldnt get along with each other, thus the reason for so many different denominations. We all act on our own feelings and not what is on the heart of God. The real church lies with in each of us. The real church begins in our hearts. When are hearts are aligned with his then the body is in alignment as a whole. When we take our own self serving agendas out of things then we can truly walk in love and in the steps of the father. But that means we have to give total control to his will and to his way.

I have been a Christian since I was 6 at which time I was also filled with the Holy Spirit, so for 22 yrs I have sought after him. There were times I have sinned and screwed up royalty, there were times my pursuit was stronger and then there were times where I just existed. I have seen a lot from a very young age about churches. I have visited many types of denominations and have felt God in many of those different opinionated churches. One thing I have learned is that God exist despite what we do wrong. Things might not go as well but he still has his way.

Lately I have been really sad because its as if a very good thing has died. I am sad because of something that I held dear to me, something I spent almost everyday helping is gone. I look at what is no more and I stand in the spiritual rubble and look out at what is past all the hurts and pain and I see that God is calling us to a higher state of awareness of him. He dosent share his glory with any one. he wants our souls soo bad that he willing to let our fortress crumble to get our attention on him. He is willing to take everything we hold dear away from us so we can see our hearts and we can cleanse the very depths of our souls for the purpose, For a greater purpose. Something bigger is happening, its bigger than me, its bigger than you, its bigger than everyone, God is rising up for a battle that will belong to him, He is tired of all the little things we let get our focus off on him. He is tired of our ranting and ravings and he is saying LOOK TO ME, DOnt you know my Grace is sufficient for you. DOnt you Know MY LOVE for you is greater than your pain and HURTS. DOnt you know that I LOVE YOU. I DIED FOR YOU. NOTHING CAN TAKE THAT AWAY. MY PEOPLE see that I love you and that I will only have you. Nothing is BETTER THAN ME, NOTHING IS BIGGER THAN ME. Come and sit here at my table and dine with me. I love you and I am your Friend, Father, and anything you need.

WOW so with that said no one will take my joy, peace, and love for others. No one will steal what Only God can give me. Make the Temple(church) you and go and follow the steps he has layed out for you.

Restoration

2010-06-17T12:52:00.000-04:00

Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore....

Are you willing to be a Nathan?

2010-06-08T20:15:00.002-04:00

In doing some reading today I came across these passages in my bible. I have the John C Maxwell leadership bible so it has a lot of great little things about leaders in the bible and how to learn from the mistakes or the good things they did.

Anyways I love reading about Kind David. He seems to be a very diverse man and yet he is a man after God own heart. You see his constant bid with wanting to do the right thing and not always succeeding.

You read how God anointed him and chose him and he was the youngest and scroniest of the choices, but God chose him. It shows how God lead him to Kind Saul by playing a harp for him when he was troubles by a distressing Spirit of the Lord(1 Sam 16:7) yes it says a spirit of the Lord. but when he played his harp David was already annointed and God was with him so it soothed King Saul and the spirit would depart.

Then you see the relationship with Jonathan the kings son and David, they were the best of friends but in time they were torn apart due to the Envy and bitterness the King Saul had for David. You see that David would never dishonor King Saul because he was once the Lords anointed. In a sense he waited for the Lord to handle Kind Saul and didn't take his life. That is honor and trust in the Lord to be able to let the Lord take the reigns and handle it. Too often we do the opposite and kill what the Lord has put in place then things tend to get more of a mess than we can ever imagine.

You see several times how David did things that were very displeasing to the Lord but he also sought the Lord, Danced for the Lord, Worship the Lord with all his might.

After the killing of Urian Bathshebas husband the Lord came to Nathan One who was in the King David inner circle to speak the Truth to David. David listened and knew that the Lord was displeased. It says in 2 Sam 12:13 The lord put away Davids sins, but brought consequences to his house. We will always have to pay for the choices we make not matter what they are. One sin is really no different than another except that some hurt worse and affect more people than other sins do.

There is a blirb that says what it takes to survive a major failure:

1 An open and transparent heart
(it's easier to tolerate mistakes admitted than mistakes denied.)

2 A spirit of forgiveness toward followers
(A follower you treat with charity is more prone to forgive you when you are caught failing.)

3 A responsible attitude
(A leader who owns up to his or her behavior will last longer and fare better.)

4 The ability to change
(leaders must demonstrate they are humble and teachable and willing to grow or change.)

5 A hunger to grow and stretch
(followers will stay with a leader in process if he or she is moving in the right direction.)

When Nathan confronted David in 2 Samuel 12:1-15 he was speaking the truth in love. Its what David needed to be able to accept what he had done and to be able to move forward and not look back. Every one needs a person Like Nathan who listens to the Lord and will let you know the hardest things that you need right when you need to heard it.

Pray and hope that we become people who are after God's heart and desire him whole heartedly.

Are we willing to stick up for our friends that we are willing to deliver messages that are hard but are in love. Its a hard calling to be a Nathan, More than likely you will be deemed as a trouble maker, or hated for the moment but when it counts Nathans are the ones who stick like Glue when you need them the most. Hope this encourages some one today. I know that I need this on a daily basis to know that when I fall God Is encouraging me to get back up again.

Questions?

2010-06-07T17:06:00.000-04:00

So many questions run through my mind. My mind is complex and is always thinking sorting and trying to figure out solutions. I love to make things right or to try and fix things. Being in the place of holding and silence I have come to realize that there are many different types of people in the world. God has made us all for specific purposes.

Some of us our teachers, preachers, evangelist, homemakers, peacemakers, justice advocates, intercessors,musicians, worshipers, and the list goes on and on.

When we are on the right path there will be temptations, struggles, wrong doing, hurtful accusations, and many trials and tribulations. When we choose to follow Christ a big target has been placed on our back by the devil. We are branded as Jesus Freaks. So we are more likely to face more adversity as Christians because we are now a threat to the darkness.

We must get back up again and we must pick back up the pieces because givening up is giving in to the plans of the enemy. I am speaking spiritually because they are life situations that you have to revert back the Keep and defend what you do have inorder not to loose it.

In my opionion honor is a big deal. Fighting for a cause and being brave despite the monsters and walls that are infront of you. Being not afraid to slay your enemy even you feel like its not your job.

We are all called to be warriors in our faith, To stand strong, But on the whole aromor of Christ and ride in honor for the sake of leading others to Christ. People are valuable and I want to be the one that does everything I can to help them. No matter what they look like, what they are, what they smell like, etc. It makes me mad when we as Christians worship the name of the Lord then go and make fun of others. Yes it may be all in fun, but what does the Lord see? Does he like it when you make fun of the very creation that he Created. When u make fun of the creation you make fun of the creator.

We are all called and all have very different duties. Dont give up thinking what your doing is not working, he has called you so its for a purpose. He needs you to stick like glue so that when it counts your faith never waivers.

Ride out to face your enemy and stare death in the eye,

2010-06-03T11:26:00.000-04:00

Have you encountered a situation that makes all other things just seem not important. I have had many of those occasions lately. This is what I feel is happening and what God is saying.

In the Last days there will be wars and rumor of wars but stand stead fast and strong and put on Christ and Know that the battle is yours. Just when you think that all hope is lost. Ride out and meet your enemy face to face. Stare death in the eye and then look to the North and know that when the Lord steps in all the enemy will flee and fear the awesomeness of the Lord and his army of Hosts.

Dont waiver in your faith, snap back into reality and know that you know that the Lord will defend your honor. The Lord will defeat the enemy just when you need him to. This will be a testimony to your faith and to others about the power and strength that lies in the Lord. To God Be the Glory when the battle is won and over because its through him that we win the fight.

Dont give up, He will come just in the nick of time and all hope wont be lost.

I will play for you.

2010-05-19T12:11:00.001-04:00

My mind has been filled with lots of thought and things lately. I have had many interesting moments where I do a lot of thinking.

Today is a very pivital or Big step for me. Here is a bit of a back ground. I have been playing my sax every Sunday and wed night ever since I was in the 8th grade. I played at the different churches I went to up until about 4 years ago, that is.

I know that this is gift that hes has given me because I never knew how to play the sax until I moved to ky in the 8th grade. I had some back ground in playing the violin which I started playing in the 4th grade. So music was in my blood. The funny thing is I don't listen to much music but I love to worship the father with all I have and especially with what he has gave to worship with. When I came to KY a couple of crazy things happened in my life and derailed me(pun intended if u know about the train accident that happened at my house in brooks) But when I came to New Vision I tried to get involved with music but for what ever reason it just didn't work out, I really feel it wasn't what he wanted me to do for that time. I started on the interpretive dance team WOW and was introduced to creative expressive dance through someone who had a passion to worship the Lord. I saw how to express my love, devotion, and creativity through dance and to know that GOd wants all of our praise, every bit of us, physically emotionally, spiritually and so on. Then I was asked to lead the Mime team and got an opportunity to minister in such an awesome way with my pastor, which brought a who new level of expression to me and my vocabulary of worship. Music, dance, mime, and who knows what will happen next. But God is continually showing me that worship is meant to be big, its meant to be all for him, Its meant to be creative. Its meant to be only to him. I am thankful for the people God has brought into my life each one of them means a great deal. I am sure that I am not a perfect person and that I have made some kind of mistakes along the way with them but in the end they are still in my life for a reason.

One thing I have learned is that worship has got to come from deep with in in order to be effective. U have to be able to sacrifice the things u want to do or be like in order to get to an abandoned place in worship with him. When KING David danced naked before everyone. He got lost in God. He danced with all his might, and didn't care that there would be scoffers, doubters, and those who would completely reject him even his wife. His love for worship started with him playing to his sheep with his harp. His music was anointed and came from deep love for God because it helped sooth the King Saul when his mind could find no peace. There is power in the music you here.

His passion started with playing music, then he became king and danced before the lord, he didn't care what others thought because his love for the Lord surpassed what they thought about him. If we didn't care what other think about us and we just worshiped with all we got and gave the praise due back the one who gave us our praise, how much more great would our praise be when we praised.

I have said all this to say. Today I am taking a step out to get back in the saddle of playing my saxophone in front of the church. Its something alot of people don't really know that I do. Buts its all a talent of God not mine I assure you. Its him prophetically flowing through me and he speaks to people when I obey him to play. I have been feeling like I should once again play for him. He is reminding me where I need to get back to in order to move forward. Sometimes we have to get a taste of why we praised like we did before because it reminds us of what we came out of and what he still wants us to be and where he wants us to go.

Tonight if u come to my church, yes I will be playing my sax but really its all him its all his doing and I am just opening my self up to take a step of faith and trust God that he will never lead me in the wrong direction.

Rock me, Move me, show me, ME!

2010-05-15T10:56:00.000-04:00

Ok so this has been on my mind lately. Been able to see a lot of things lately through God opening my eyes.

here are some observations:

God is moving and he is about to do some really awesome things in his church and through his people. (His church meaning the body of christ not one particular church). He is fixing to do a new thing in and among his people, but only will do what is allowed by us, meaning what we allow him to do in our lives. He wont do more than what we allow him to do in us. Whic
H if u think about it, thats scary. If we only give him half of us he will only give us half of him.

I dont know about you but i want break through. I want all of him and more. Sittin and watching people i feel drawn to help them, Jesus's compassion consumes me i want to reach out help those in need or just need to be noticed. I want to truly serve people as if they r Jesus(in deed he in the people). If we served others as if they were Jesus how would that change our level of serving wow. That's huge!!!

We are so caught up in our selfish wants and needs that we truly forget who are supplier, provider, peacemaker, healer, etc is.

We dont see he wants all of us. Every part of our being, our pain, our hurt, EVERYTHING about us he wants us to surrender. can we really do that when we think there is no benefit to us?

can we surrender everything to him, let him rock us, move us, show us, every deep part of our soul that needs helps. Are we willing to see what he wants to show us?

This is my observation for now, He wants us to violently seek him, meaning passionately no matter what is going on in our lives.

We are always still in need of a savior. I hope this has made u think deeper about ur life as is has me. We all mess up, we all make mistakes, we all get hurt, but God is right there waiting for us when we need to be.

God bless! Dios te bendiga!

Mowin the grass & trimming the hedges

2010-05-09T22:00:00.001-04:00

So today is mothers day and I decided that I couldn't put off mowing anymore. As I began to mow and trim the hedges, I began to realize that this is kinda of symbolic. God is awesome and he usues the little things to show me his will and what he is going to do in my life.

Anyways we have to be willing to do the work to trim our own spiritual hedges. In our spiritual lives we let many things get out of hand and grow outa control. Our minds eventually get cloudy, the weeds grow, the bushes overgrow and we wonder why we are where we are.

God is saying get out your spiritual hedge trimmers and trim your hedges. Mow down your field of weeds and vines that encompass your mind, they seek to squeeze your spiritual judgement and fulfillment. Clear out your gardens because there will be abundance coming and we need to make room.

Start trimming and make room cause something big is about to happen and breakthrough is just one hedge trimming away.

Put off the Ranger and Become who u were born to be?

2010-04-25T18:40:00.001-04:00

I was thinking about this comment from a movie I was watching the other day. I have seen christian teachings on this before too but what I feel was being spoken to me was that many of us are wandering around and trying to fix all the other problems all the while we are not dealing with who we really are and who we need to become in Christ.

We choose other distractions for the purpose of getting our focus off who we need to be or who God's destiny has been designed for us to be. Some of us will be famous preachers, teachers, evangelist, missionaries, servants, servers to the needy, and many more. but many of us choose the more eaiser path, the path which costs us nothing or well what we think costs us nothing. Many people dont serve dont get involved in things because they dont want to pay a price. Whether its time, money, or our talents.

Where are you going? Is the path that costs you? Are you willing to pay the costs for the one that has paid HIS life for you?

Put off the Ranger and become who you were born to be!!!

About my Dear friend Chilo~Are u willing?

2010-04-15T14:29:00.003-04:00

Have u ever met someone that you considered a dear friend that you had a common interests that connected you to them, u knew that it was destiny that you met them? I am not talking about a person like your spouse or loved one.

The saying that you would be offended when you find out how much people dont think about u always helps me to get real with my self and realize the hype of getting all worked up trying to make others like you really do sent matter.

Well in the case of a dear Friend I met while on a Missions trip in Mexico I felt this way about this man. (Meaning from the first paragraph not the second) He was a older fellow and the first time I met him we were going into the red light district in Ciudad Juarez to share the love of Jesus. Handing out food, water, cool cool aid, candy to the drug addicts, Nice bags filled with lady products to the ladies of the Night, Bibles, and just sharing the love of Jesus in the most Reality of circumstances. His heart was one of beauty for ashes, real love for others, friendship, u felt he really cared about others. Definitely one I would consider as a kindred spirit, he was a model example of a heart for others. I didn't know him other than on several of my missions trips to Mexico and that he was always trying to do things for others whether it was buying turkeys at thanksgiving or given water to thirty. He was simple not complex, no suit or ties, just real like those he ministered to. He is one I will never forget and one that has changed me. Even when I still think about him I will never forget the experiences of really sharing Jesus in the reality of where people are at. He wasn't a leader who got to speak in front of millions of people but one who lead by love of Jesus. I will never forget how he had these key chains made in honor of our time together so we would never forget that experience. I still have mine to this day it had been on my keys since the day he gave it too me. Always a giver who was infectious and made me want to give more.

Today I learned that he had passed away while doing trying to help someone else, a while back. My heart sank knowing that he wouldn't be able share his great love with anybody else. But he paid the ultimate price and layed down his life with out hesitation I am sure. Once again my friend has gave me hope even after he is long gone. A martyr for Justice and a friend to lowest, and the love of Jesus he shared with many.

So when you meet someone never think that just because you meat them and now they are out of your life that they really ever leave a part of who you are. The things we do, trails we face, people we meet, and the life we lead all make us who we are.

Questions I have asked myself today. Am I willing to lay down my life to save someone elses? Am I will to see with Jesus's eyes? Am I willing to go where others are at to love them with a great love?

Am I willing? Are you willing?

RIP My Dear Friend Chilo
My heart is sad today as I know that no one will see your passion for the hurting and the lost anymore. But I know one thing and that is I pray that those you have touched will remember u just when they need the hope to survive.

I will move you, I will guide you!

2010-04-11T23:27:00.000-04:00

You might be thinking a trip to Kroger. How can that be a life changing experience. Well let me explain my thoughts on it. First, for me it was a chance for a little quiet time to my self. Yes I am in desperation of little trips that get me to a quiet place where I can think, dwell, pray and even just sit with out a kid jumping on my head or calling my name, etc. I love those things and when I come home I actually love the pitter patter of the little feet running toward me to welcome me home. So yes Mini vacations I like to call them help me a great deal. So on the way to Kroger I was just thinking about the events of the day. I remember people twittering about how much they were blessed and refreshed at church, how such a great day it was for everyone, blah blah as all thoughts started to jumble up in my head. Don't get me wrong I love seeing others blessed beyond measure and seeing God move. I love being a part of it and being able to help that goal get accomplished. But as I start to realize that I myself have gotten to a state where I feel over whelmed, tired, frustrated, etc etc for no reason really at all to say that my spiritual meter is running low. I read the bible, listen to worship music, watch sermons, but it just seems so hard to connect that I feel Like I am no use to anyone and I am just a walking shell. If that Make sense. I feel like I am going 100 miles a minute as if to only soon it will come to a crashing halt when everything gives in. I feel spiritually dry, like I am constantly looking for more and more water but continually thirsting for more and more and more.

I have been reading this book along with devotion time, by John C. Maxwell its about how everyone communicates but few connect. Its really good and actually has helped me to see somethings I need to continually work on for sure. Great Leadership and communications expert.

Even with this I feel like I am still kind of living in a spiritual daze. I love challenges, tasks, having responsibility, & just being where he has me, but in all that I am still not satisfied. I asked my self God did I pray never to be satisfied and to make me want more and more cause this is where I am at right now. I need u like I once knew you. I need you. I love the song by Dc talk form a long time ago that states I am still a man in need of a savior, because that is exactly how I feel. God why am I here, please let me know. So my mind will settle and I can rest in you. Lord help me and keep me and guide me into your arms. I need you I need you I need you to lift me higher. I need you to fill me. What about me? Don't forget I am longing after you. Move me, fill me, rock my socks off!!

All that said and yes I can say a lot, but bear with me. Yeah this ride helped me to clear my head and to also hear his still small voice saying. I lead u here, I got this. Its only a matter of time. (this has been show to me about a year ago a lady spoke to me about a hour glass, that's all she had to say) God's says it only a matter of time and I will make my move. I will move you, I will guide you.

Yes I am still in the state of wanting more, hanging on by a thread, and a very thin line. Even though I am just hanging, I can see its a short rope and he will pull me up the rest of the way:) Keep hanging and he will keep holding and lifting.

Broken Boldness!!!!

2010-04-04T21:22:00.001-04:00

Broken what does that mean in terms of spiritually and deep things with God. For one, it means that we r laid out before God meaning that all of our sins, mess ups,and imperfections Are laid out on the table before God. Saying to him here is all my ugliness and selfishness and what I want, but please correct me and make me right. Check my motives, check my desires, check my wants and correct them so that they shine before you and that I become as bold as a lion and do and say the things that you want me to say, that you show me the things that I should do. lord take all the cares of this world off and lead me to where you want me to be. I don't care what anyone thinks or what anyone says cause if i follow you, lord you will never leave or forsake me. You will never lead me astray. Take me to a place where u can mold me once again to be broken as lamb but bold as a lion. Lord, help me to fight for you,help me to stand when everyone else sits. Lead me to my destiny in you, cause you are all I want you are all I need. You died for me so that I could live eternally with you. Guide me, lead me, and secure my life as your daughter, as your maid servant, as your warrioress. Broken boldness~that's where I want to be. To be used by you, Oh Lord.

This is my heart, this is my cry!!

2010-03-26T13:17:00.001-04:00

Wondering if the words that I am about to speak will be heard by those who need to hear them? But I feel like I need to share what I feel needs to be dealt with.

Here this goes and I pray that the words in my blog are what you want to be heard!

Lord, you know and see the hearts of your people. Lord that you would reveal yourself and you would reveal the inner most struggles of each and every person reading my blog. You see their hearts and you know what they choose to hind and never reveal. Lord I pray that you would bring all the to the light and that you would show them that you know and see every feeling they have and you are the forgiver of everything. Your love is endless.

Please let them see that every mask they have and every hiding dark spot in their life is brought to the surface and then cleansed by your precious blood and forgiveness.

Please let those who are Christians, those in high places, those who are the servants of your kingdom, seek a deeper meaning of you. That you can reveal the things that no one else can know. Lord please show them who you are and help them to give up everything and lay it at your feet, never to pick it up again. Lord you and only you can heal and guide and protect them. Only you can take away the bitterness and pride they have. Only you can heal the broken relationships and the past of your people.

Lord help them to see your face, to shine in your glory as Moses did on the mountain. Lord help us to not be satisfied till we have you and till we realize that every part of us you already know and what we have in our hearts. Help us not to hide in the darkness, behind all the masks of self righteous, pride, anger, bitterness, etc etc. Help us to see that we are still men and women in need of a savior everyday. Lord revel you to us, reveal your love, reveal your mercy.

This is my heart this is my cry.

Pupose placed Meetings

2010-03-23T10:15:00.000-04:00

I was thinking about how we always complain God why r you not using me? God I know that I am suppose to do this ministry so why am I not doing it?

We are so focused on what we want to do, what are agenda makes time for that we forget that our focuse has to be on him the whole time. We need to redirect our focus to the father and let our steps be God led lead. No matter the path we take there is always a reason for it, for who we meet there is a purpose. Its called being aware of others and what God is telling us to say to them. Its not always a salvation need situation. It maybe that we are suppose to smile and greet them with kind words. For instance walmart cashiers on a busy day are just filled with tentions. Sometimes its just us greeting them with a smile and saying thanks for your help today. Have a great day! Verbal affirmation can change the atmosphere in an instant. That goes with negative verbal words too.

Trusting God and being open to ministry opps no matter where we are is a step of faith. Getting caught up in our day to day routines and life's trails and instances gets our focus off the father and what he has for us and for those we meet. Everyday its important that we wake and say God Lead me and show me what it is I need to do today. I feel every day is an assignment form him. That we have divine appointments and opps to be witnesses for him, By our actions, by the words we speak, The things we say.

With all this said and I am sure that I can say more but God is just wanting us to be open to what he has for us and for opps to be his light in a strangers darkness.

Prepare Ye the way

2010-03-11T16:35:00.000-05:00

So while this is what I received this afternoon as I was praying and waiting on the Lord. it flowed with no stoping.

Prepare ye the way for me. I will come like a theif in the night. prepare ye the way for me. When you wake one will be taken and one will be left. I am a strong tower which will devor every enemy that is in the path of the righteous, your path. Prepare ye the way. Do not look to left or the right but look to the heavens, look to the light. Take off the glasses of darkness, the glasses which block the light. Let the light, let me penetrate your soul or will you fade like the flower fades at the end of spring. Choose to up root and follow me, Follow me, Only me. Listen only to me, Guard yourself & gerd up your selves witht eh full armor of God, the time for Battle has come, These days are numbered as my countdown has already begun Follow me, search me, yearn for me, watch for me, while doing so most importantly Share me, give yourself for me and cast away earthly possessions and wordly cares to reach others for me. For my time is at hand, look to me!

This is something I feel like I was suppose to post that the Lord had given to me. Hope this helps, motivates, and gives confirmation to someone waiting on the Lord. The time is now lets share him with the world because time is drawing near. Its about seeing souls come into the kingdom, these are the last days, Find your God given way to reach the lost for the Lord. Its your time to reflect the light, reflect him all over the world.

How u DO love & what does it say about you?

2010-02-13T19:17:00.000-05:00

Love is in the air as we embark on the Journey of Valentines of 2010. The 1 day that it is said you need to show you love this way, with some roses, choclates, stuffed animals with silly sayings and hearts on them. Not saying that those are not fun to receive but thinking more on along the lines of how as Christians we tend to say we love others, love knows no ends, love, love love,   But we dont take time to see what Love is really about and what love says about you?

How do u in your personal daily walk love others?

What steps do you walk and does those steps speak of love?

Love is more than a heart filled choclate box, it is more than a vase full of roses. Love simply says I give up what I want, what I would like to have, anything about me, for the sake of YOU.

God gave his ONLY son to die on the cross for US.   This is what love is.

Its not shelfish, wanting, attaching, prideful, haughty, envious, and so on. 1 Corinthains chapter 13 tells us what love really is and how to show it. My question is why dont we do it they way it is suppose to be done.

Why dont we love our families and others more than life and more importantly MORE than our selves.
Why do we only love when it is a benefit to our selves, why do we only love when there is no cost or price to love. Love is about helping others, serving others, & living for others, We have to truley become more about love, more love Lord, more Love, More of you in my life, More Love, More of you in my life.

So what is Love and what does how you DO love say about you.   Happy Valentines Day, my Friends and remember think out side the box, love selflessly, and love often, and love Big.

Impact or Distract?

2010-01-23T19:48:00.001-05:00

Impact or Distract? Its up to you is what I like to say.

In my study time I was reading in Romans 12. This is an awesome chapter that shows us a little bit how to impact others. There are so many good things just this chapter is full of.

Sometimes I think that we wonder around searching for our purpose in Christ and if we are doing what he has specifically designed us to do. I feel that by God giving us the power of choice is interesting to not forget. Sometimes we think we are doing what we are suppose to do only to find us questioning if it is the right way to go. I feel that we can be an impact to others no matter where we are at. If any church wants to impact the heart of the city then we need to take the church to the heart of the city. Not by necessarily going to the least desirable areas although that is a tool. But by each member going out and be a living church. Yes we are all human and we are all sinners but just because we are all sinners dosent give us a ticket sin. That kinda thinking already sets us up to be failures or in my terms distractors not Impactors.

If we want to Impact we got have been impacted. We have to have a real life on going nurturing relationship with the one who really does the impacting. How do we know how to impact if we have never been impacted? Going to church is not going impact anything unless we are in the word and it is living in us.

Not matter what chapter we read or verse from the bible it will bring impacting results, it will show us how to impact and also take us closer to God. Sometimes I feel that even those in church feel that if u read your bible or speak life impacting words on a consistent basis that u r some kind of Jesus Freak in a negative way. But frankly my dear I well I really dont care what anyone thinks about me because that will hinder my ability to be a vessel of Impact to someone else.

Whether its kind words, verbal affirmations, physical gestures, helping out someone in need, cleaning toilets, handling babies, teaching little kids, dancing, miming, or going to our regular job and being a light to the dark world. Thats how we impact. Being a sold out vessel willing to do and go where ever, to whoever, or just be the up lifter to those around u, it how to impact.

Impact or Distract?

What will u do or be? Impacting vessel or a distracting vessel, Its your choice the ball is in your court.
Lets impact others for the sake of Knowing where we came from and where he brought us out of!

Start Living!

2010-01-14T08:18:00.001-05:00

The last couple of months I have been a complete and utter mess. Things just piling up and finally the ability to release what I have been holding up inside me for a long time was able to come to the surface and I was able to let go of it. I have the, "lets get it done" attitude, which if I see something needed to be done I do it. I hate to see things especially in the church that need to be done and it doesnt happen. This can lead me into very interesting places where I end up carrying loads that aren't mine to carry and burdens that I didn't ask for. So in turn I have to drop all those burdens and not pick them so I can be effective at handling my own burdens and own responsibilities.

So with dropping all those extra weights and loads, my heart is ten times lighter and now I can focus on my destiny and what God has for me. As I sit and look at the sun rise I cant help but to feel hope and peace. The beauty of the Lord is amazing and in his beauty his spirit abounds and it gives hope.

I have been pondering what to write on my next blog and this is what came to me as I read various verses and chapters this morning.

"...Every living thing that moves where the rivers go, will live... they will be healed, and everything will live wherever the river goes" Ezekiel 47:9

So spiritually if we gives our hearts, minds, souls, everything we have to God spiritually and let the river flow through us, we will live like never before and "they" I feel meaning us and others we are around will be healed and will live.

Do you want to truly start living and feeling freedom in know that you are flowing in his river. That doesnt mean he will move you physically, more times it means that he wants to move you spiritually so you can be more effective where you are at physically. We tend to do want we want and not what he wants to do through us. We listen to too much yappers than to him, we stop the river flowing by speaking, doubting, mocking, hating, bitterness, lust, etc, etc. We stop the flow because we are not flowing spiritually in his river, we have set anchors to purposely stand still and not follow where he is taking us, Or we have carried so many burdens and troubles that we have literally sunk to the bottom. Loose those anchors and weights and let God be your guiding in your hearts, minds, and souls.

Start living and dive into the waters and let it take you to the place of healing so that you can start truley living!!

Seriously?

2009-12-21T22:10:00.001-05:00

So there has been several things going through my mind and this is what is going to come out. I feel that as christians we have to be accountable for every idle word, every idle thing we watch, every idle things we hear, I mean really? Vampires run ramped through holly wood, just saying as every one always says. Just saying is a way to put it out there and just say it. Dont kill the messenger. I mean really? what r we watching, what are we thinking. I am definitely not perfect and not one to point or judge or anything like that, but as for me and My household we will serve the Lord and if that means, not doing certain things or watching certain things, then that is what it is going to take. To strive to be like Jesus and not the world. NOT the world. I refuse to compromise my salvation or anointing or blessing so I can fit in or attract something that is not of God, Really what are we thinking? God never had to use Satan to reach Satanist. He just had to be Him. If we want to be surrounded by people of faith and people of integrity then we need to attract those kind of people. My Jesus is in comparable, there is NOTHing NO One that can COMPARE. If we try and compare something to him then we are way out of line. WAY out of it. Im just saying. Are we willing to walk such a fine line that we compromise our own call, just as Saul did. Are we willing to loose touch with the father and be distracted from what God is calling us to do? Are we willing to be silent in a world that thrives off the weak. Are government is set up to make the Christians disagree with each other so much that they become divided and become useless in the way of controversial issues. If we agree to disagree and become unified then we become one step closer to being heard and to potentially saving millions of babies lives for just one example of what unity can do. What does it cost to become so radical and sold out to Christ that our fellow Christians will mock and make fun of us. I mean really why do we not fear the one who made us from the dust of the earth, Who do we think we are to continue to not listen and do our own thing. God will withdrawal his hand on the anointed and the called if we continue to mock, not listen, and do our own thing. This is serious stuff Christians and if we don't listen up and become real and get down to the basics then we are going to fail miserably and its not going to be pretty. It could even come down to our won destruction and death if we don't get real and become serious in the things of GOD.
Seriously What are we thinking? Im just saying:)

Awaken!!

2009-11-21T04:08:00.001-05:00

Awake at 3 am on a friday night and I need the sleep. Got to be at church in less than a few hours, uggg this has to be God. The more I try to sleep the less I can. He is awaking me he is calling me to pray, fast, and seek his face. I need to seek his face, with out his Guidance and with out his anointing everything will fail. There is a stir, a burden, and plea from with in me that has to be let out.

God only you are the creator, the devil didn't create me, so there for he has no power over me. God I will stand for you, I will not let down, I will pray and seek you in the midst of the dark hour. You are my God. I will not watch, listen, or speak nothing but the things of you. You are my help, you are my strength, only you.

Your people, oh God, must awake and seek you and listen to what you are saying, these are the last days, these are the last moments in history, and we just live to only please our selves. We go on as if everything is ok when its not, we live with regret, hatred, selfishness, unforgiveness, and except God to still have the reign in our lives. Which he cant because we have taken the power away from him by not giving our all to him. We including every preacher, every christian, every person, no one is exempt from his word and his truth.

Divided we cannot and will not move forward, we have to come against our own flesh and feelings and allow God to reign in our lives and in our house. We must not watch things that defile his name, we must be a holy people, or strive to be that, strive to take every little hindrance out of our lives. We must be accountable in these last days because life is but a vapor and we are accountable to him. I am awakened to pray that we don't miss the opportunity to reach the lost and dying world because we are so focused on pleasing our selves and not dealing with our own hearts that we forget how big our God is and that he sent his ONLY son to die for our sins that we might have life, We are not owed salvation we fall short of the glory of God by leaps and bounds but it is by his grace that we are accepted by him, We should extend that to those we hate, to those we don't speak to, to those who wont talk to, I mean these are the last days people and we are just sitting around and laying on the couch and expecting God to be there for us, He owes you nothing but He GIVEs you forgiveness and love anyways.

Awaken and know that he is with your every thought, every decision, and sees that dark place in your heart that you hide. He see you and hears you. Awaken oh sleeping hearts, bring back your passion for the lost, bring back your church of Christians who fear you and seek to see your glorious face. Awaken!!!!!! Before its too late and histroy is written and there is not more to write! AWAKEN!!!!!!!!!!

What is your Hinderance?

2009-11-05T15:01:00.001-05:00

Its time that we wake up out of our spiritual slumber as I have mentioned before in a blog, and see what God is telling us. He is wanting us to clean our hearts from everything malice thing that isn't from him. He wants us to know that we only need him to survive. Everything else will pass away but our eternities are eternal and I want to take everyone I possible can with me.

He is wanting us to open our hearts and say clean me oh God so that I can be used by you. He wants us to know that we have to put and take every hindrance out of our way and clean it up, so we can be the most effective we can be.

We constantly struggle with our finances, attitudes, situations, friends, etc etc the list can go on and on. He is saying don't you know that I am here with you. SEEK my face first and I will SUPPLY all your needs. We tend to forget who our supplier is. Yes we have to do the work and not be lazy but we also have to do the work with out complaint or strife in our own hearts. We are not owed anything in life. We owe him. Its about seeking his face on a daily basis and then going and doing or helping his word out. Whether we help an old lady across the street or whether we go and serve at our local church. Its about our motives, we have to do it unto God and remember that we are not to seek mans approval but Gods. It doesn't matter if you don't get recognition or if you are OWED it because of all the great and wonderful things you have accomplished or done. Jesus payed the ultimate price and we think we don't have to give or owe him anything.

Who are we living for? What is your purpose? What are your motives? Where do you want to GO? Are u tired of living in what your living in? Then seek his face and he will guide you, clean out the junk drawers of your heart and get rid of what holds you back. If you cant pay your bills then look at see what is your hindrance, are you bitter, do u have unforgivness, These can keep you from your destiny. Let go and fall into the arms of God, Its ok to be wrong its ok to fail its ok to say I messed up, we have to be broken in order to be fixed and we are truly all not perfect and not totally fixed.

Ask him to search you and find what is your hindrance?

Only seen by the father!

2009-10-20T23:15:00.001-04:00

I truly don't understand a lot of things. For example why people are so just unaware of how the things they say, tweet, write, email, blab, etc can really hurt or destroy someones passion.

Don't we realize that half of the things we say think or speak really doesn't matter. I mean come on its a fact that people retain more of what the see than hear. So in knowing that the negative almost always out weighs the positive then that means the negative things we say, will be the very things that are remembered. Wow that is really scary to think about.

I am being lead back to a place where listening to the things of this world is way too much to bear. We have got to get to a place where we can stand on our own 2 feet and Listen to what God (Not Man) is telling us to do. Notice I said LISTEN and NOT Speak.

Now what God wants and what we want are most of the time 2 totally different things. (Usually that is how it is with me). I am not the best mime, singer, dancer, mother, wife, etc etc but I want to be what God is telling me to be. I only need to listen to his voice and tune everything else out. I need to have tunnel vision for Jesus and THAT IS IT. People will lead you in the wrong direction, but God will always steer you in the right direction. This is a season where we have to stand a say no matter what anyone else says, I will do what God is telling me to do. I cant not wait any longer, I cannot linger any longer I must take that step of no going back and enlarge my box so it can be filled even more. Enlarge our territories, expand our borders and boundaries. We are only bound by our own chains, we put them on our selves. Let us break the chains off our selves and step into a new place, a higher place, a more wonderful place.

I realize that I am called to be in the back, never to be seen, always hidden, this has been said many times, (something I already knew, of course) I fight this so much because I am human:) God is calling me higher, he is calling me above what I am now. He is calling me to serve, worship, adore, and praise his name, not matter how silly, ridiculous it seems that is what I am suppose to do.

He is the one who gave me life, he created my soul, he died for me. I may not have this big testimony, done all these great things, but I know that he died for me!! The girl that is called to sit in the corner, never to be seen but by only the father. I am only his, his precious gift, his special prize. That is me.

I don't say that looking for pity, but I say it in encouragement that God calls us to certain places because he knows what is going to expand our horizons, he doesn't want you to always stay in the same place or situation, he wants you to grow with him while you are following his will for your life.

I know how to follow and I know how to lead, but that dosent mean I will always be a leader or a follower, There is a time a season for everything and what u choose to listen to, follow is ultimatley up to you. But Just know that God is there waiting for you to say Ok Im here and my ears are open to listen!

Please land your plane!

2009-10-09T08:24:00.000-04:00

In the depths of my mind this is what I have found and this is what I am sure needs to be said even if I am not heard.

"O, people of this world, do u not see that I am here with you, do you not see that I am for you, do you not see that I am right here. Stop running around to and fro looking for me, I am right here. You can have me, all of me. Do you not see me. I am waving you in and you fly right by me. Why do you not see me? I want you to land your plane and let me take hold of what I have planned for you. You are so precious and you are everything I want. Please know I am here and I am waiting for you to come to me. Please see me, I am desperate for you to see me. Please understand that I see the future of the path of self destruction you are taking and I can also see the future of the marvelous path I have for you. Please choose to see me, I will wait for you, I will stand, jump, and shout till I get your attention. I am here."

It just seems today that we are living in a world that continues to ignore God. He is right there for us and we just run here to here this preacher or that one. Or to get a word here or there. But we have the main line to God. We dont need someone to tell us anything that arnt already in us just waiting for confirmations. We dont understand that we can revivals in our own living rooms if we would just press in and seek his face. Yes getting together and having those special times are great but knowing that we have him all the time. We take control and need to stand firm in our faith and know that we have the choice whether to walk in his presence or walk alone. Its our choice. He dosent hide in a closet or in a specific church building he lives if you TRULY let him, he LIVES in us. Quite searching for God and take a moment to stop and say, you are right here in front of me God I see you you are here.

So here is goes and watch out!!!

2009-10-01T13:44:00.000-04:00

This is going to be one short blog!!!

What you do on this Earth right now, will it ring through out eternity or will it just fade away???

The choices u make matter, they matter!!! God is watching you and he sees what you put before him in your alone time. He sees your heart and he knows your every thoughts.

What do your secret thoughts say about you? What does that deepest most hidden part of your heart say about you?

Are you willing to stand with God and not deny him when things don't go the way U think they should?

Lets stop putting our thoughts into things and let God put his thoughts into them, and see where he will take you!!!!!

Start truly living and stop being a robot to the world. Be different set apart in your thoughts for this is his desire is that you stand firm and ride on the wings of his eagles.!!!

Choas

2009-09-22T17:19:00.001-04:00

Ok so this I have been thinking about for many days now. What to write in my next blog. I have started to write some then I just didnt feel like I should publish them so I would just erase them. I have learned it is best to not write or to speak when you are at a point of dis pare, frustration, anger, etc. because what is sure to follow is something that is not Godly or out of the creators vocab. At this point in my life I dont care what you think of me because I know that serving God is my main purpose before anything else. I just want to do his will.

So many things have happened the last couple months with our church and in my life that its Choas. Thus the title of the blog. It seems like I am mentally, physically, and just plain tired. In that I have to realize that my mind has to be in the right place before anything will get accomplished. I have to continue to persue God and read the bible and continually pray. In not doing those things will I become useless in his kingdom.

I encourage those who are weary in well doing to take a time out for God and to get back to the basics and remember he is our only source of strength.

Those who havent stepped up to help further the kingdom of God, I encourage you to take that step you have been waiting for now. Get up off your couch of complacency and wake up and do he will. Start getting involved somewhere in the church. There are so many places that despiratley need ministers to serve for Example the Nursery needs workers,(had to plug that one in since I am the Nursery Director,lol) Not just in the nursery, the children's ministries, alter teams, cleaning crews, greeters, security, parking, then list goes on and on. There is a NEED for laborers in the house of God, no matter what church you go to they NEED you.

I am not sure why people stand back and watch the world go by BUT I for one want to make sure that when I pass this earth that I have done all that I could to further God's purpose. Not my purpose but his.

I think that we are selfish and we continually ask why doesn't this person say hi to me, or why dont they notice me, or why dosent the church love me: seems like we are the ones with the problem not the church. We are so worried about the tiny spec in someone's eye that we fail to see the big moat or thorn that we have in our own eyes. Meaning we tend to look at everyone faults and not our own, which if we worked on our own faults first then we wouldn't have to worry about looking for any ones elses because we would be too busy with our own.

Why are we so judgmental on everything but our selves, do the rules apply to everyone else but not ourself? Man this stuff is some good stuff.

We must renew our minds all the time in order to be in the will of God. We must understand that we must be willing to accept people for who they are even if they hurt us or offended us. We must realize that life sucks sometimes but its how we handle those moments that shows others what we are made of.

Renew our minds people and get right with the father so we can shine the light of Jesus to this lost and dying world.

Made in his Image, so lets act like it!

2009-08-26T09:06:00.002-04:00

ok so this is something that has been on my mind and heart and I feel that someone needs to hear this. Maybe its just for me but Ill share it and be open to receive it if its for you.

So if I feel I need to say something I usually do, so here this goes.

God is calling us to a higher place with him. thats what my last couple of blogs have been kinda centered around. so if God is calling us higher with him and we answer? What about those who don't answer that call but are still calling their self a christian but there is no evidence of change in their life. If they really and truly let God have control over their whole life and heart then you would see changed without people having to point them out. They change would come naturally.

So why is it that I hear people say I go to church or I am a christian but yet when I see them out around town or sometimes even at church I cant tell that they r what they claim to be. They where Jesus's last name like its something of non value. We through his name in the dirt and wonder where r blessing is? We dont love others unconditional but we make conditions on who we love. Evertime we make fun of, or post a pict of, or ignore someone in need, we spit, stomp, and slap Jesus in the face. we r placing those crown of thorns back into his head with every word that is intent to make fun of or laugh at someone else. Dont we see that he God the author of ALL life made EVERYONE in his own image. That means every race, color, nationality, big, medium, small, muslces, no muscles, hair, no hair, home, no home, pretty(by ur standards) non pretty: They are made in his own imgae, did he consult you when he created the earth? Dont think so.

We r distrepecting his name by our everyday actions, thoughts, & the words we speak. How sad this is that many christians dont get it? They dont see that Jesus wants to love them, have a relationship, walk beside them, carry them, and wants us to be used by him. But we cant see that he is right here calling us to a higher place with him higher up the mountain to become beacons to world. If u have ever seen Lord of the rings where they light the beacons and they shine for miles so the next beacon sees that it needs to be lit. WOW I want to be a beacon for his name, so he can be see through the darkest times and give hope to those who need it.

Im not sorry if this offends someone because I think we have all been an offense to Jesus as christians who dont walk the walk. What will it take for us to see before its too late that we need jesus we need his love acceptance and forgiveness every day, NO ONE is perfect but we are all made in HIS Perfect image. So lets choose today to make a change for real, lets choose to reflect the Imgae that we were meant to reflect, HIS! Lets choose to fully give him every area of our life not matter what it is. Let it be for real lord. Let us trully move higher in you. Forsaking everything, looks, money, friends, family, possessions, any hinderance lord, let us give it all to u and surrendor totally to your will before its too late and we come face to face at judgment.

Higher Calling

2009-08-18T10:05:00.005-04:00

(Photo by Anna Garcia)

Matthew 16:24 "if any one desire to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross, and follow me"

"He knows your weaknesses, He wants only your love, wants only the chance to love you!" ~Mother Theresa

The last few days have seemed to just flow together really well. Sunday I got a word from a friend that was confirmation for what my life is suppose to be, or who I am suppose to be. This person would have never know anything about me in that aspect so I know that it was from God.

So one thing that Pastor David has been talking about is that we are atmosphere changers. We choose how the day is going to be no matter the circumstances or situation! We choose!

Then wow danced and I do the big flag in the back. Something happens when you do big flags. Total surrender. Both services were amazing and God moved on many ladies in the group. It was awesome!

Then for practice on Mondays, we had our annual praise and worship set done by Pastor Curtis Bridgeman( This is an awesomely anointed family of God). Wow is all I got to say because everything that he spontaneously sang was exactly the types of things that God has been speaking over me, too me, through me, and showing me.
At one point I wrapped a billow over me and was sitting and I heard God speak to me, just fall back and lay in my arms, I hesitated for a minuite and then I heard him say are you scared that I wont catch you. Just let yourself Go and I will catch you! So I did and it was amazing to just sit in his harms and feel like he was holding you. Awesome to say the least!

Then we proceded to pray with everyone in a circle and Tammy asked for anyone to pray to Just step out and do it, and of course it was quiet but I felt the need to, but as I do that thoughts run through my mind, are people thinking oh not her again, or why does she always step out, why does she go first, but I started to speak and felt God so strong. Then afterwards tammy was praying in tounges really loud and I am almost sure that I heard God say this is what I want you to say and I was like I have to speak again, oh great people will really think I am just trying to take over and steal the show, I know this is what you want to say oh God but really me? I havent interpreted or gave words in quite a long while. so I said ok God Ill speak. So I spoke and it was amazing to be used of God, the words just came to my mouth and it was amazing. He was telling us that he is in the midst of us and that he was calling us and he asked where are you? I have called for you and you are not answering me? Where are you for I am here? It was simply God speaking to someone or all of us asking for us and we werent answering him. Wow! I dont know if anyone needed that or if anyone listened and really understood what God was asking them or even understood it was him that was asking for them, I really dont know, but I know thats what he wanted to say and if no one heard it then they cant say he never asked them or never spoke to them. It was awesome to know that you can be in the presence of God. wow!

All of that to say God is calling us higher, he has been calling us and so many people are not answering. He is in our midst asking for us and persuing us! He wants us to come higher with him so that we can be more effective. Are u not answering his call? He wants you to answer him!

I want to go deeper!

2009-08-11T10:16:00.003-04:00

When u meet people do they see or feel that Jesus loves them? With out you saying or proclaiming that you are christian?

Do we radiate Jesus where ever we go? Do we think about Jesus in everything we do? Do we resemble him where ever we go and in whatever we do?

In every action we take does it bring glory to his name?

Does ever step we take leave his presence behind? Does the fragrance we let off smell of him?

I want him so much that I go deeper than medocracy, I dont just want him enough to be a little pleased for a short time. I want all of him, I want everything that he will give me and then some. Why do we have to sell our selves short of his glory, why cant we let it rain down on us till we cant take any more of it. I want to be so deep in him that people think I am a crazy idiot! because I am so in love with HIm.

I dont want to be mediocar with him, I want to be extreme in him. why find the middle ground when you can have the higher ground with him. Why only go half way up the mountain when you can go all the way up the mountain and receive his glory as moses did with the 10 commandments, Moses had to cover his face beause the glory of God was so strong on him that the people couldnt look on him. I believe that it was so power ful that people were scared and imature in their walk with christ that they couldnt fathom what had moses been doing.

I want to be deeper and I want to go stronger and I want to get more and more of him and all of him and not be dry any more. I want to be full and so full that I cant speak about things any more but just stand in the silence of his awesome glory.

What does your garden say about you?

2009-08-07T19:55:00.004-04:00

What does your garden say about you?

Today I was taking some picts of some Sun flowers that I ventured to grow this year, and believe it for not these sun flowers are just simply amazing. Even though I am scared of the presence of the snake still in yard I still venture out to my garden always aware of my surroundings. Wondering if the snake is some where slithering in the grass awaiting to bite me. I believe that we you are in align with God's word he sends the neastest things our way. Today I was out in the garden and for one I have a stray cat that knows when I am out side and never fails to come and greet me. I feel God sent him as a guardin of the snake, but who knows.

Anyways I went to view my garden that is over ran with weeds, so I think the snake is really in there some where. I have jalpenos, tomatoes, cilantro, carrots, sunflowers, but being that my garden is full of weeds i cant see anything but the sunflowers because of their ability to grow to amazing heights and still stands strong. lots I could say on that, but Ill keep to my main point.

The point is that our life is like a garden, for a season it will flourish if we plant and sow in the spring, then it blossoms with flowers or fruit or vegtables, but if we dont do the work of the planting and sowing then there would be no garden to enjoy, meaning were would our blessing come from if we dont obey and plant,sow, and maintain our gardens. We must do those things inorder to enjoy the beauty of what came out of what worked on in the spring.

Yes then the harvest will come and you will be fulillied knowing the work you did in the spring paid off, that is so like our spiritual life and it amaizes me of how you can plant a seed and then life comes forth, and with feeding and watering and miracle grow you can see an even bigger harvest like never before.

Just take his last name!

2009-07-21T17:14:00.004-04:00

Today I have been pondering and thinking about many different things, but something has stood out to me that I feel like I need to blog about. I don't know if people actually take the time to read my blog or care that I write one, but I know that there is a reason that I do. I guess that it is in hopes that someone will read it and God will speak something into their lives that they become more passionate and concerned for his name sake. I don't claim to be perfect or have all the answers but when I feel that God says do something I do it because if I dont I fear the reprecusions it will have on my life, so with all that said this what I feel I should blog. Please open your hearts and ask God what he wants to speak to you today or through you today.

If we are suppose to be like Christ because we wear the name christian then why do we continue to do what we please and when we please? I keep hearing the kid song, I am a C-H I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N and I have Christ in my heart.... so if we really have him in our heart and we really call our selves a christian and we are suppose to be like Christ then why are we not doing it?

Why do we make fun of others? Why do we say inappropriate things? Why do we act like God isnt watching or listening to our every action and thoughts? Why do we deny him like Peter did, through are continued disobiedience and our lack of respect for his name? Why do we scream we want change but dont make a stand when its time to make that change? Why do we let millions of babies die because we refuse to talk about hot button issues? Why do we only stand when everyone in the world is standing, why dont we sit then? Why do we think that it is only our issues that really matter, when everyone around us is dying on the inside, but we are too caught up in self to see it? Why do we continue in the sin that we were delivered from? Why do we allow movies, tv shows, music, etc with questionable meanings, content, language in to our homes around our children?

I am sure the list can be longer but at this point I feel so sicked, convicted by my own actions that I realize, the fact is we are too scared to be like him, we dont want to be like him or pay the price of being a christian. We are so consumed of selfishness that we dont see or hear anything but what we need,want,feel, etc. I fore one feel that this is the time to run after him with all we have, if it means raising banners to get his attention. I just want to be in the deep end of the river and let him take me where he pleases, cause everything will be alright when I am with him. I think that this is what he is saying to us:

"Wake up out of your deep self induced spiritual sleep. I want YOU, I desire a relationship with YOU. I will keep YOU, I will be the only one for you, It is I who can make the enemy flee with just the mention of my Name. Can't you see it ME, you have been looking for? For I am calling you. I am wanting you to come deeper with me. Accept me, receive me, desire me, long for me, stand for me, I will bless you beyond measure.
Come be my bride, bear my last name, for that is what I desire"

Will you choose to give back to your creator?

2009-07-10T13:03:00.003-04:00

Well today I feel like I got to blog about something. In sitting at home anxiously awaiting my husband to call me on the result of his job interview today. I was praying and have been for a while to find him a job that would stretch him and grow him, and that I knew would bring his potential out in him. Well I thought that is was his current job because when he arrived at his current employer 6 months ago, we thought it was a sure God send. Well it was but not that way that we had intended it to be. We thought it was it, after being there for 6 months, he realized that consulting is not for him, unless he worked for him self of course. So he stuck with this co and gave his all, all the while searching for another job, especially in a jobless economy we just figured what is God trying to teach us and where is he trying to bring us to. So in realizing that he was bringing us to a point that we would be able to let the past be the past, and know that sometimes we have to experience things so the grass will be even greener on the other side. I know everything is not going to be great and problems wont go away but God wants us to be thankful for our jobs, for those who do the dirty work, or the job that no one else cares to do.

Well if you read my other posts you know I quite my job I received my last pay check last week and havent had the oppurtunity to give my tithes till last Wed, thoughts always come through my mind and I am like wow I could really use that to pay on this bill or that bill. Or to eat with or to do this with, but then I get to where I am like ok I fear God and if I dont tithe, what will happen. Well I have been saved since I was 6 and I was thought that titheing was very important and that we should fear God because of who he is.

Life can diloute that fear if you let it. But any how I could feel that was fixing to do a mighty work, I could feel it. I didnt want to mess things up so I made sure to drop my last tithe in that basket. It was some dramatic crying or emotion when I gave it, I just put it in and walked away.

Then today, mike went for his interview, and this job that we thought would be a long shot, he was offered it. Didnt think that he would be offered it today but he was, it is with a company that is growing, has a good customer base, even though its based out of etown. It is a job perfect and it is what he wanted to do for a company. A God send to say the least.

So when you are wanting something, waiting, or just needed a change, its always good to remember to be faithful to your creator because you dont want him to delay your destiny just because you chose not to give back to him what is his.

What is his is your time, money, talents, your stuff, who you are is his. He created you, he gave you life, he has a destiny for you. Its all his and he gives and takes away.

2009-07-07T14:19:00.003-04:00

I am just sitting watching the MJ memorial service. I guess I realize that we all are going to die one day and the life you are givin is the only life you have to do the right thing.

Who r u living for? Are you living for your self and your needs, your wants, your desires? This is something that is very real to me at this point in my life. Are you going to do something with what God had given you or are you going to please yourself and do what you want to do?

God is more real than people think, because you cant see him right in front of your face, we tend to not fear him. We just do what we think is right..

I have recently quite a job that I had been searching months for, when I counted out the money I was making and then spending on child care, gas, etc, I wasn't making any money, maybe 30 extra every 2 weeks. I realized that I want to be with my kids and that 15 dollars a week wasnt enough to keep me from my kids at this point. I can cut back somewhere and not eat out as much and not spend money I don't have on things I don't need.

I looked at my kids today and I realized my purpose at this point is to be home with them. I almost got emotional, I love my boys and even though staying at home is very difficult for me because I want to work so bad. I have to know that its not my will Lord its yours and you will keep me and guide me and provide for my family. So I have to trust his name and trust that he will guide and protect my family because we are doing the right things.

anyways those are just some thoughts that are going through my mind that I thought would just share, God bless,

2009-06-30T17:18:00.004-04:00

Its only been two days of me getting back to being a stay at home and well let me say, hmmmm.
Its going to be harder and we are going to stuggle, i think that is a given in this time of a bad stench in the air of the economy. Oh well life goes on with or with out me so I guess I better go with the flow.

So I know that the enemy will try to steal our joy when we are doing what we are suppose to be doing. Last sat we went to an outreach in the portland area of louisville. Which is an older part of Louisville and is a rough and poverty stricken area. When you drive to those parts of town you immediately feel the opression that the area carries. Its like you drive into a dome where Satan thrives. That make me hate the devil even more. To witness first hand the things that he tries to bring people down with. Wow I could go on and on. Its not my first time in this type of area. When I would go to Mexico, ciudad Juarez we would go to the red light district and actually go into several crack houses and minister, love on, and feed the people that were there. Its neat where God will take you if you just let him. Once I was in a Mexican prision, yeah a white gal in a Mexican prision. All I can say is God moved in a mighty way that Day, I realized my sin and hurts are no different than anyone elses, we are all in need of a savior.

so back to the Portland Outreach, one of my favorite times was holding up signs and trying to gain attention to the people in the area. I like to observe people and one of those people I will never forget. You know we should really try and understand what people go through and where they have been so we can start to understand why they do the things they do. So I saw this lady in the distance and she came walking up and lets say she was wearing short shorts and a shirt that showed some skin. I like to look people in the eye, even if its only for a glance because it does something. I feel like I get a taste of their life and their pain. She was a sad lady, but hard shell on the outside. She came in and got some things, stuffed animals and left, then she walked back down the street and left. A few minuites later a car drove by and she was in the back seat and with 2 men in the front. I saw the blank stare of her face and it saddned me. I have seen a lot of things while working in Mexico and just in general, I pay attention to the afar off and I see things that most would not even notice. People catch my attention and then at that point I know that its a devine appointment from the father, because he is looking after his children to be obedient and to do his word, so people will catch our attention.

Yes people with dress suggestive, people will act crazy when it comes to getting free stuff, people will be rotten, people will dissapoint, but we have to remember what has made them this way and why am I hear at that appointed time.

Be open, dont judge, dont make fun of others, you never know what they have been through and if u went through what they did, you might be where they are.

Have compassion and shine a light in the Dome filled with satans plans, where Jesus is satan will flee:)

2009-06-24T23:52:00.003-04:00

My life in a nut shell the past couple of months, has felt like a winding roller coaster of emotions and events.

I started a new job working at a very prestigous eye center and I actually really liked this job for the most part. There is always going to be something you dont like about a place. I prayed for this job and asked God to bring me this job, and I got it and I am sure it was God's hand in doing this for me. But as I began to look at what I was actually taking home from this job after paying out child care, gas, food, and other costs I wasnt making any money. The feeling in the pit of my stomach was deep and I thought about this for weeks. Should I stay or should I go went through my mind. After thinking about well did God really intend for me to have this job? or was it something I asked for, that he gave me but wasnt something that I was really suppose to have or need. I think that God gives us what we ask for and then we get it we are like, what in the world am I doing here? Someone else is watching my kids and I missing them and they are missing me. Is this worth it?

I finally decided after praying and meditating to leave my new job. They all understood my postion and seem to be supportive of it. I feel sad knowing that my last official day will be friday if I stay all that day. I definatley will miss the people that I work with, even though I dont know them that well I do feel apart of their lives and like they are a part of my life that I feel I will be missing. I really feel down and my emotional self cant but help to cry.

So in this I have been doing a lot of soul searching and self discovery. I just ponder and continously think about what is my purpose, what am I suppose to do, ahhhh. I dont think that I will ever know exactly or the future but only the now and then I am suppose to trust God with the rest. He has me in his hands and will guide me and provide for me. I have to believe that. That is was I am in a contunial process of learning.

All I want to do is be at his feet, I just want to get into the place of true and intimate worship with him and that I want to live again. I just want to live for him and think about him and worship him. I just want to feel alive and not like I am living in a dead mans shell. I want to be sold out. I want God to move in me. If he uses me to do great things, big or small that is what I want him to do. I want to be molded and stretched into a better person and I want to love others no matter how bad they drive me nutz. I just want to be so passionate about people that I see them as souls that need help rather than people I dont like because of this or that.

My grandma had a stroke and me and my dad drove down to Arkansas an 8 hour trip away and it was on fathers day. We worried about my grandmad and they still dont know the cause and are doing more tests but for now she is all right and getting use to things and trying to be more active. That help me to think that our time on this Earth is short and are we going to make an impact on it or are we just going to sit around and do nothing.

I have to do something, even if I feel a million miles away from you Lord, I will still trust that you are there and I will serve you and I will honor and adore your name.

Be my savior and breath a new life into my soul oh lord, please help me to truly live again.

I see a lot of dirty windows:)

2009-05-24T19:59:00.003-04:00

How clean is your glass?

So you know the glass windows and doors you seen at old walmarts. They usually have outside set and an inside set of windows. I dont claim to be a pro at cleaning as a matter of fact I hate cleaning windows. But when the time comes that I need to be a window washer that is what I try to be. It may not get the cleanest or be the best but its my best. So anyways there are so many topics that I could touch on. but one quick note is that there are people that are sold out to their church and to Jesus and then they are some that hold back and dont sell totally out.

One of the window washers stated, Jesus and this church have done so much for me, how can I not give back. It keeps us focused on him and we don't get distracted. that set with me as I began to take a look at the windows. I began to see through the glass and realize that this is going to be a big task. I realized that the inside of the windows would need clean and then the inside set of windows would need a cleaning. You cant just clean on set and forget about the other. When you do something you got to get in there and do it big.

I began to see all the people that have passed through these windows when it was wal-mart. I started to feel the pain, sorrow, sadness, struggles, etc of all the people that have walked through these doors. Then I began to think about those that are going to walk through these doors and find what they are looking for. It set a spark in me, I knew that this is my church and that I am going to be a part of a huge life changing church. The walmart customers don't know it but God has strategically placed this church in the heart of an area that is going to have the potential to reach even more than ever thought possible. I mean come on everyone in this area knows about this Walmart. When its God leading its going to happen. No matter what anyone person might say, when God decides it dosent matter what they think.

I began to realize that the windows are so important, if you don't clean them they get dirt and grime that keeps getting build up. Its like Christians who don't jump in and sell out to Jesus, they walk around with dirty windows. Jesus cant shine through them because their windows are dirty. We are suppose to be a light for Jesus but if the light can shine through your dirt then its going to be hidden.

Dont let your light be hidden with the build up of half Christianity, be all or nothing, sell out, and sell out big, get them windows clean like they have never been clean before.

How big is your fish bowl?

2009-05-14T20:26:00.002-04:00

I am so amazed at my little fish from the New Vision Easter carnival. He is still living. I have even changed his bowl and have given him a proper home and through all the changes of his environment he is still alive. This little fish has given me inspiration and helped me to always side of side of life. Always strive to live even if your fish bowl is small.

You see he lived in a clear glass for several weeks because I though he would die before we got home. I did feed him but I just left him in this little glass and he adapted and over came. My son finally named him Dorothy and keeps saying when he dies we are going to flush him down the toilet. So needles to say this little was never given a chance to live. We wrote him off for dead before he turned belly up.

I think that some times we write ourselves or others off for dead. We just give up on our selves or others and we dont side on life. We say we are prolife but we write millions of babies that are starving all over the world for dead. We dont see that our neighbors and our families are stuggling and no one is listening. In these bad economic times we are so focused on our selves that we write everyone off for dead. Which means we just give up on them and dont help them get out of their small glasses into a better fish bowl.

This little fish was a gift from God. It may never know my name, but I know his. He may never talk to me or speak to me, but I speak to him. He may never thank me for cleaning his bowl but I thank God for him. For showing me that God dosent give up on the smallest of things. That no matter how small you are, or your situation is God still cares. No matter what God is going to take care of you and help you live. You really dont need all the stuff and things you thought you needed to survive. Just the basics and a will to survive. Dont be a stastic dont give into the negative times. Look up look to heavens, look past your cloudy fish bowl and rely on the father to bring you into clear waters.

A Spectators Finish

2009-04-25T21:16:00.013-04:00

Today was an emotional day. It was great weather for viewing the Mini and full Kentucky derby Marathon races. I have to give a big shout out to all those who participated, you all did awesome!! Maybe NVMC should see about doing a water stop next year. I realized today how we all need each others support. So here goes some of my view from the side line.

I got there so early to start off and picked a good spot, to only later realize that it didnt matter where I sat people would still manage to stand right in front of me and in my way. Oh well, thats life in a nut shell.

So back to the race. I got to see many different types of runners and people and it was amazing to see people with tremendous stories. There was a man leading a you blind boy to the finish, there were the wheel chair racers, which I have to say inspired me because the strength that it takes to get past the fact you cant walk or run but you can wheel your way to the finish is amazing. The strength of heart and the strength of the upper body amazed me.

I love observing people and their reactions to certain situations in life. As I was intently looking at the runners rounding the corner to the finish line I noticed all different types of reactions. There were those who so victory and achievement, some saw defeat, some were delirious, some unaware of their success, some just glad to be living. 12,000 runners and walkers coming across the finish line to their destiny. You see I have came to the conclusion that its not about how you arrive at the finish. But it's that you Arrive! You see many people sign up for the mini in hopes to finish the race. They have goos intention and are motivated at first. Then life gets in the way and for what ever circumstances they dont get to the finish. So you see the victory they reward is that you finish the race. You cross that finish line. Whether your blind, in a wheel chair, sick, healthy, old, young, etc Its that you finish.

Which brings me to some significant moments of that day that I will never forget. As I waited for my husband to round the corner I was absolutely worried. The day was a beautiful day but it was not ideal for long distance running because of the sun. So I was concerned. As I cheered for the full marathoners comming in and realizing that not just my family needs to be cheered for but for those fellow marathoners. We all need a little cheering on from time to time to not give up before we reach the finish.

After waiting for what seems like forever. In the distance I finally saw michael. I know his running stride and I could see that he was in pain. I know that he will never admitt that he was but what he didnt realize was he was almost there to the finish line. As we made eye contact I cannot explain the emotional realse of relief that I felt in seeing him because my worry was over but also seeing him in pain and knowing he needed me to help him along the way. We walked to gether for a bit and I grabbed his hand and I gave him the encouragement that I could and gave him a pat on his back and he started to the finish, I knew that took all his strenght. Mike has been taking the training easy so he was not as prepared but he wanted to finish.

He ran the marathon a couple of years ago and finished in good time, but this time was different even though he didnt finish with a better time, the fact was the he finished. I think that we sometime take for granted how many people dont have the strenght or the encouragement that could have propelled them to the finish. We must encourage our loved ones and others to finish the race. Finish the fight for their lives, finish was God is starting in them. What would this world be like if we were able to help and encourage each other in our goals and the races of life.

I am proud of Mike and though I will never understand the physical pain he felt running, I know that I can take pride in knowing that I was there to cheer him on and to see him finish!!!!

It Blows my mind.

2009-04-19T21:14:00.003-04:00

So some updates on me, well??? My new job seems to be going good so far. I hope it continues that way:)

Its been hard leaving my little ones, but I know that there was a time for a change so I could get a break.

Today in church was great, I helped out some in the nursery and then I was on the balcony watching the worship in the 11 am service and it was amazing. I got see people praising and being touched by God. One thing in particular I saw was a boy that I think has down syndrome. He was praising God with everything that he had. To say the least it touched me deeply to see him worship God with all his heart. I could see that is what he was doing. I love to see people just praise God and not care what others think about them. Wow it blows my mind.

Not matter what seek God to know him personally and then you will see the need to worship with everything that you got. You will see that you will want to worship and praise him just because of who he is:)

This is amazing:) I got a JOB!!!

2009-04-08T22:12:00.002-04:00

Alright now this is an interesting story. So at church we have been talking about abundance at church and tithing. Well I am not sure if all that these series of events that have happened have anything to do with each other but here it goes.

Well to start off with we were tithing on the 10% of mikes new job he got several months ago, well his insurance kicked in and we were getting less take home pay which would me less money for tithes but I felt I was suppose to keep the same tithe amount and not give less to the church. I struggled with this because I was starting to give in to the woes of the economy because I have been looking for a job with no luck what so ever. I was getting a little frustrated but I felt that we should tithe on what we were making before the insurance came out. So we did. I kept saying ok where is my increase I am doing the right thing now; Hello are you up there? Do you notice?

Well one thing I had to do was renew my mind and take a step back and say ok I cant control what is going on and I leave it in your hands. You hand pick me a job. So I wasn't as stressed looking and applied and was rejectioned several times, One after another.

The first sign of relief was I got a booked wedding for April. Paid in full. Awesome right on time.

But the rejections were still comming, so I was back to square one. Then I got a call for an interview and was socked to just get an interview. So it went great and I was really confindent about the job and felt that that was the place I should be. But I didnt get a call back.

Well I got more rejections and more rejections. Then out of no where I got a call for a lady wanting to book and wedding for July. Amazed once again. Right when I need a boost of faith something little happend and I was assured that God gives you want you need at the right time.

Then the call came and I got a second interview for the job I really felt good about. I was exicted and nervous but after meeting the HR and talked a few minuites with this lady who I just meat like maybe 5 minutes she said that I was to meet one more person and then they would let me know next week. I remember thinking great if they let you walk out then you prob didnt get it. But after I talked with another lady we were walking out of the office and we shut off the light and the HR lady came and turned it back on and she said lets talk a little bit more. She told me that the ladies I would be working with closely begged the hired me. Whattttt, who does that?? Then she go on to say that the office manager REALLY liked me and only had good things to say about me. WHAT, I began to think how could I have made such an impression on these people. I send a thank you for the interview email but misspelled a word. I was plain and honest about who I was. So how in the world or why in the world who they remember me? ?? Was it the red hair I cant find the right color I want??? What is it??? Then a Light bulb came on and I realized it was the FOG (Favor of God) The reason they wanted me to work with them so bad is much more deeper than they realize. They dont know that what I carry with me is life changing. He will be with me at work, at home, and where ever I go. They know there was something different about me:0) I am so exicted and praise his name for all he is going to do in the lives of people at church. Follow his leading in what you tithe, in where you serve, in anything you do follow where he leads, because it can only lead to good things. Blesseings when you need them not when you want them:)

That is all for now God is totally awesome and Walk in the FOG, let your shadow be annointed so much that it leaves the frangrance of God behind:0)

Dance & Shout with me:)

2009-03-04T17:15:00.006-05:00

So here I am just pondering some changes in me over the last couple of weeks. I have heard and read and listened to many different things that all kinda said some of the same things.

When I was a younger around 8 and 9th grade I had such a relationship with God that I still feel like I dont have now. I made some really bad choices and chose relationships with certain people over a ever lasting non failable relationship with the only one who can really complete me and that is the one who made me in my mothers womb. The Author of all LIFE. Jesus.

I use to praise God with everything that was in me, I was so in love, I sought after his love day and night, I was relentless in my persuite of his glory that it was always on my mind.

But through lots of series of choices that I made, i pretty much choose a boy over Jesus's endless love. I have blogged about that before. Yes it was the one that I was emotionally abused, physically abused, and controlled by. Even though I was brought up in a good home with a praying mom I still chose death. I really feel like I literally died during the course of those years of bad really bad choices that I being a christian knew better than to make.

I meat a wonderful man who loves God and is a awesome man, cant say enough about the great things he does to support me and our wonderful kids.

I have never got back to that place I use to be with Jesus, I have persued but not with everything like I used to, I have prayed but not with everything like I use to. So then I wonder why nothing is changing.

I cant live off what was use to be, I cant live off how I was a victum, I cant live off my own thoughts, feelings, actions or anything else of me.

I can only live by grace and mercy of the father that is always there with his arms wide open. I dont understand why some really bad things happen to good people. I dont understand why people are suffering from pointless causes and illnesses or hunger, But I do one thing and that is Jesus is the only answer to anything. He may not heal your sickness, he may not feed your hungry body, But what he can give no one else can give, I mean NO ONE can give.

He gaves his own life and was beaten so that our sins, our mistakes, our hurts, our dark places could find peace and assurance that everything is gonna be alright.

When you walk with Jesus you are assured that you are safe even though you have tornados and hurricanes in your life.

So anyways with all this said I have had the prividledge to get to minister through mime and to teach a group of people mime. I can that I am encouraged by one of the members that is on the team. they remind me every day that no matter what we should give him our praise.

Yes people are gonna talk when you just start screaming, jumping, running, spinning, or what ever it is you might do when praiseing him, but that is ok. My lord is worthy to be praised and he should have nothing less than the praises that I have to give, sometimes I dont feel like it but I am sure he didnt feel like getting on that crosss and being nailed to that tree but he did so that I might live. I just have to praise him in my trails and in my hard times and in my distress.

So watch out I gotta praise, I gotta worship. If you dont like it or you get distracted then maybe you should seek your own heart and find out why you are not praiseing with me. I got something to shout about, and its his name.

You aint gonna steal my joy and peace, just because you dont like how I dance or how I shout. Shout with me. Dance with me. Get in only the joy of the lord with me.

Ok ok Ok if I go on I will really start to preach while I am dancing and shouting.

Hope- its there just grab it!

2009-02-22T15:28:00.003-05:00

So here I am adding more to my blog. This is where I am at in my life, I guess. Ever since my grandmother was in the hospital before she passed away last year; almost everyone said there was no hope so I put this in my van to remind me that just because some one says there is no hope dosent mean there isnt any. There is more hope than anyone can imagine. This is a silent reminder to me that even though she is gone and living with Jesus that there still is hope. There is always hope and you have to make it for yourself, she never gave up hope when I saw her in the hospital she said I am still here, even though she was not doing well she still had hope and purpose.

My mind has been spinning and spinning, and I have been going through the Rolodex of my brain (as stated by Pam) wondering and wondering and wondering what to do next, am I taking the right step, or why am I not doing this but that. So many things are constantly spinning around. It seems to never stop. So I prayed and was have been seeking God on what is my purpose and what is my destiny. I constantly doubt and doubt even though I know what I am suppose to do. I do things that I know I am not suppose to do and then I end up getting more frustrated.

My purpose and my destiny in life is to be hidden or things done in secret that only Gods sees and acknowledges. Come on everyone likes to be noticed and I use to really deal with that, not that I wanted attention but that I just needed someone to notice me as a person that they couldn't live without me. Well there is more to that from my past experiences over 10 years ago. As a young girl, I dealt with this all my life, I constantly feel in adequate and not able. I now realize that I needed hope in Jesus to feel that gap of adequate feelings. He will come through and fill your heart and make you adequate and well equipped to do his will and his testimony.

I guess what it is that I am trying to say is to always have HOPE, because it will keep you from going insane:)

Just say Yes

2009-01-17T11:41:00.002-05:00

So last Wednesday I have had the privileged to do a mime for church again. This time I was alone in doing it:). It went absolutely the way it was suppose to.

I feel that the message that God has been sending us, meaning Christians, is to just say Yes. Say yes and do what needs to be done. Quit picking and choosing what we want to do and do want no one else wants to do.

Whether its serving in the nursery on a special night, For example Eddie James is in town and no one wants to watch the babies. Rightfully understood, but there are 4 services to get in on.

Or no one wants to watch the 2 years olds, or wants to clean the church, or wants to park and ride a shuttle.

I am talking about doing whats no one wants to do. Do it with a passion. Jesus washed some pretty nasty feet in a time where they wore sandles and the roads were paved and they probably stepped in some pretty nasty stuff. They prob stank really bad as well, eww yuck!

The Harvest is PLENTY but the LABORORS are few. That means where are the workers. The harvestees get harvested and dont become producers. They dont continue the process. churches cant function with only a few willing workers. They need plenty.

Think of the reward you will have not of this earth by watching the child of a family that gets saved or renews their lives to God. Wow that is an honor. Also people go where their child like it. If you dont have workers to minister to the children they children dont want to be there then the parents more than likely wont come.

After being blessed by Eddie James and his crew and really praying about the church growing. Well I feel like we cant continue to grow and no one starts to step up and help. Its called take a little of your personal time and giving it to God.

He requires us to give of our time, money, and talents.

That is something that I have really been dealing with it to give of my time, money, and my talents for the sake of his name and furthring his Kingdom.

The need for labors and workers is so great that we maybe leaving some of the harvest forgotten and not harvested. They are so ready to picked. We need to serve so others can have the same experiences as we have had. So we can bring more into the kingdom. God sees the work that we do and nothing else matters expect that he sees and the rewards are not of this earth:)

So if you are serving and are getting discouraged and fustrated cause it seems your the only one. Look up because he is with you and sees you and you are blessed:)

Now that dosent mean you got to volunteer every service either. Just do something because it is better than nothing:)

Anyways I like to share what I deal with and what I go through, I feel like the dishes are going to be there when you get back so if you got to leave a little early and leave then do it. They cant thank you for cleaning. God is not going to punish you for giving up a little time to go early and serve.

Ok thats it for now. God Bless:)

2009-01-15T15:59:00.001-05:00

Christmas Time and Rining in the New Year

2009-01-01T10:40:00.002-05:00

This Christmas season has been one that I m sure Dominic will remember, it was his first one adjusting to having his baby brother get presents too, so he was sharing the presents in a sense. He is at the age that he just likes to rip into presents and loves doing it. he is so Cute and I love him for that. Ryder's first christmas was good he was a little sick and still has a runny nose, poor little guy. he still has no clue. But christmas was a little harder this year and Mike had a new job which he is really stressed over and works a lot more than before. I know that it was a step that God wanted us to take but now that were here were like why are we, but we have to remember to trust in God and that he will lead us.

Now its new years day and my house is still quiet. we stayed home and spent the night together as a family and it was really nice, except dominic my 4 year old didnt understand the concept of saying Happy New years because it was still dark outside and that kinda freaked him out because he was so tired. Then he woke up this morning and was like ok now we can say it cause it is day. He is so cute. I know that the New year will bring in new things for us, and now we can expect better things.

Happy New Year, yeah its 2009 man I am getting old:(

Just open your lid

2008-12-08T17:05:00.002-05:00

I have had a few days to take a look back at this last past week. All I can say is that I have been brought to a new level in ministry.

I have been practicing this last week everyday like twice a day to learn and nail down the song God is here Mime that the pastor had asked me to do with him. He has never done miming before but to say the least I was a little concerned at first when we first started learning it, the pastor did look a little funny at times and it was comical. Each day is got better and better.

I started praying for Sunday, I felt that it was going to be a divine appointment for someone to feel his presence. The services started off with worship which was totally awesome and moving, then we moved into cardboard testimonies and that was awesome to see so many people that I have gotten to know and to see what they came from and out of was amazing. God is so merciful and forgiving that it blows my mind. I has to stop from crying and letting my mime makeup get all nasty. Right after that we moved into the mime song God is here, which is a song that K and K Mime has done and is see on You tube.

As the song started and I looked into the crowd I began to be so amazed at what was going to happen and already happened. The song was awesome and great and the pastor did so great that alot of people did not recognize who he was. I was so pleased to see what God did in the 11 am service and people came down to alter with no words spoken. It took a bit to get people to come but when they did it was just bam, God touched a lot of people in so many ways. It was beautiful to see what God was doing.

I was taken to a new level with mime. I have done mime before but to experience it in this way with that type of atmosphere was really beautiful. We are but vessels that he uses to accomplish his will. We just need to open the lid and let him fill us with him:)

When I have a link to post the mime I will make sure to post it here. You can also check out my other blog about mime and the ministry that is going to be starting up soon:)

Tis the Season to be Jolly

2008-11-30T21:26:00.003-05:00

So here we are heading into Christmas full blast, Thanksgiving is over and another year is passing right before my eyes. My Oldest son is 4 and will be 5 in February and I cant believe that he has grown up so quick. I am sadden by knowing that I keep getting older and older. Hmm Life is funny that way.

Today I decorated the Christmas Tree and I pulled out 2 ornaments that represent the 2 babies that I have lost over the last years. I just stand in silence as the innocence that they were. The first one I lost experienced Mexico and the joy of missions and the hot summer days of Juarez and the red light district and God endless love and mercy for all those who need to here his word. That child was with me and I didnt actually loose it tell well after I was back from Mexico. So may think I lost it because I was in Mexico or whatever, but after much prayer and deliberation with my husband I went. I was actually the leader of a group of teens and I drove them there and was their momma so to speak:) I saw their lives changed and my child was apart of that. Loosing that baby was very hard to say the least because I went through the labor process and felt every contraction and every thing. I mean everything. I remember that after that sometime we moved to Shepherds ville and visited New Vision Ministry Center and that first day at the end of service when Pastor David was giving the alter call, he mentioned that if you lost a child. that is all I heard and I knew that God was comforting my husband and I cause we looked at each other and cried. From that day on New Vision was a special place and are hearts were mended:)

The other Ornament was for a baby that was lost during that train accident that happened in Brooks. My son and I were home at the time and to say the least it was a challenging experience, you can read my blog about it in my history. But during that time we lost another baby, loosing that second baby was a real disappointment and was a very frustrating and hard experience to say the least. The moment that I was told that the baby was not alive I was so hurt that I cried all night in the hotel we were staying at because we had no home to go to. I know my husband heard me all night and probably others in the next rooms did too. I don't think that I ever cried so much and remember feeling the great disappointment. Still makes me cry when I think about it, but I know that God does recognize the unborn and the ones that are silenced on purpose or in vain and by accident. Which has made my prolife stance even more stronger than before. Here women are killing babies and I could carry one, very sad.

So I look at those ornaments and remember their little lives even though they were short. See I feel that when I sleep at night they are both sitting at my pillow and rubbing their little fingers through my hair as if to say they are with me.

Since then I have had Ryder who is almost 10 months old. He smiles all the time and is a precious gift. I know that without the loss of my other babies I would not have Ryder and he is an awesome little man. Him and Dom get along so well.

So on these Holiday seasons remember the past because it is the door for the future.

I need a really big Microphone

2008-11-24T09:46:00.003-05:00

The last couple of weeks have been really crazy as its leading into the holiday season. I am constantly reminded of how we can get into our own routines and our own life's and not realize the true reason that we are here on this earth.

I was telling my son about Jesus and I told him that since Jesus lives in us that we need to go and tell others about Jesus so that when they die they will go to heaven. His response to me was so real that I was amazed at the understanding of a child. I told him"we need to tell others about Jesus so that they will go to heaven." He said "well Im gonna need a really big microphone, so everyone will hear it."

His understanding and faith it what we should show in our everyday life. We should want everyone to heat it and not be just confined to our comforts and what we want and if we are offended by this and that. we just need to get over ourselves and realize that there are lost and dying people that need to here about Jesus.

Soon after the Jesus conversation with my son, we were at church last Wednesday night when the pastor was talking about the Holy spirit and speaking in tongues and we brought him in at the end when God was moving, and he didn't want to leave. He felt the presence of God and he knew he wanted to be there and he asked for prayer. It was amazing to see and child want to be where God is moving, He felt it and wanted it.

The next day or so we were in walmart in the check out lane and getting ready to leave when Dominic turned to me and said "we need to tell that Lady that Jesus died for her" He would not give up and I told him to go ahead a tell her. I am not sure that that specific lady heard him, but a lot of other people did and who knows who heard that and needed to hear it. By the way he said it pretty loud on a busy Friday night. so I think there were people there that were destined to be there because God knew the faith and obedience of a child would fill the need.

No matter who we are, what lives we have lived, or how we look there is someone out that that needs to here about Jesus from us. Not everyone will receive it from just one person but they may from a little child. Or they may from you.

Go and do what God has called you to do and don't think twice because he is with you.

Today is a Very Sad Day

2008-11-13T15:50:00.004-05:00

To say the least this has been a very sad day. My very good friend in the Lord who is on the dance team at church was in a car accident and her mother died in the wreck. Watching all the news and stories in the paper just breaks my heart. Laying in the hospital alone when I arrive was Bo. My heart raced and sank all at the same time. I was so sad when I went up to her she told me that her mom had died in the wreck and I just couldn't believe it. I stayed and comforted for a little bit and then left the room because my heart broke for her. I have nothing to give a good friend but my time and my prayers and maybe those are the most important things.

Now it seems that nothing else really matters. All the little things that get us upset or the regular routines that come our way. Just to seem not to matter anymore. I ask my self what is the purpose of live if not to just live. Then I ask God the purpose of our lives. My conclusion is that it is to serve him and to do whatever it is that needs to be done, no matter the cost, no matter the sacrifice, no matter what gets in your way, or what someone thinks. At the end of the day it is what you did for God and unto God that will echo in eternity. Its what we do now that determines our eternity and what will ring once we are there.

My prayers and thoughts are with Bo and all those who knew her Mom and all those who are their friends. I am so glad that Bo is still with us, I praise God that she is still alive.

Its a sad day but I must rejoice for Bo's life. He has got good plans for her.
Nothing else matters except what will echo in eternity:)

I obeyed and was taken to a new place

2008-11-09T18:26:00.010-05:00

All I can say is that I have been brought into new levels of worship this past weekend. God is moving and propelling us to new heights in our church and in our wings of worship group.

Preparing for the workshop was tiring none the least but the rewards where Huge. All I can is that God is Awesome and he knows what he is doing for sure.

Tammy Harris obeyed God and when he told her to do this workshop. She listened I think that God came and did some really amazing things.

The whole day on Saturday was learning different worship styles and dances, Worshiping, break breakthroughs, and healing.

I tried my best to be a help to Tammy and make her feel like all she had to do was worry about the ministering and teaching, I do feel like I am her armor bearer and her guard. I want to protect her and help her do what God is calling her to do.

I think that I did that. I also think that some people take me the wrong way or make even feel that I am trying to take over and be a little micromanaging. I sometimes feel like people do not take me serious when I make suggestions, but in my defense I do know what I am talking about most of the time, anyways. I am a serious planner when it comes to events. I try and think of all the little details and make sure they are completed. So maybe people don't realize the experience that I have with things like this. Anyways I am a helper to Tammy and I feel like I am suppose to be with her to support her and be there for anything she needs.

Ok so got off track a little bit. Well the workshop was awesome to say the least. There are so many things that have come out of this day. I feel like it was a defining point for me as a christian and I entered in to a new level of worship that has been so long or the first time that I experienced his presence in this way. All I can say is wow! At one point during on of our intense worship blocks I felt that I should go and neal at the alter past the veil. All I can say is that as soon as I touched beneathe the thrown behind the torn veil, I was in another place. His presence fell on me and I was never the same after that. My hands shook and my heart beated fast, I barely opened my eyes and all I saw was bright white. I was in another relm. Amazing.

Well after that, I told Kendra what I experienced and showed her what I felt under the veil. She went under the veil to the thrown and expereinced the same thing and it was amazing, she felt that she should get up because what if someone want to come here and she said that God said to her "No its ok, no one wants to come back here" I sobbed when I heard that, I was amazed and what I had felt. His presence is so real and there is no denying that.

Then at the River Service. Some of us where suppose to dance special dances by our selves and well I felt I should do a mime and when I was looking for a song I came across this one and I felt this is what I should do. Well weeks later I found out that the youth were doing a drama to this one too and I was a little disapointed to say the least and searched and searched for another one to do. Well God said No and this is wanted me to do and be obident to what he wanted me to do.

Well I was really nervous about this because this was my first time as a Mime by myself. If you have others with you it is much easier. But This is what happend. I went out and the song began. All of a sudden I knew that it wasnt me doing what I was doing, it was God. He was guiding and directing my every move. There was one point where the song goes As the God man passes by he looked straight into my eye, when that happened I literally felt it was God looking at me and my body collapsed. I was crying through the whole this. It wasnt me at all, I just did what he asked me to do. I am not sure how people felt about what they saw, but I know that when I was doing that song that I was brought to a new high that I had never experienced and it was amazing. God is awesome, Just do what he asks you to do and you will make it and will be better than anything that you can ever imagine or think or dream or ask for. He is such a great big God and he showed me that. HE IS BIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Opinions

2008-11-05T08:05:00.002-05:00

Now that we have and new president elect, I have to say that I am dissapointed. I definately have strong opinions on abortion rights and other moral issues. So I am very dissapointed but I am not bitter about this because I feel that this is what was going to happen anyways. So I must be in prayer more than ever for our country and our leaders. Its not a suprise!

As a christian I feel that we must let our voice be heard and I feel that going against his word is a scary thing. Yes I will pray for our new president but I wont agree and support everything that he stands for, because I feel like I cant moraly and what Christians feel. We now have the most liberal sentater as president, that will be interesting to see what happens in the next 4 years.

I am proud that I am an american and I can have an opionion about things and that I can voice them without feeling like I am wrong. I think that everyone on either side can voice their opions and we shouldnt bash another views because that is what makes america is opionions and voices.

America is a good country as far as the availablility to prosper but I think that we give a lot of false hopes to other countries. For example people from like the Philippines are so despirate to come to the US(where my brother is a missionary) but they dont understand that it is hard and our nation is centered around money. While there they can grow their own food and they can use their own land, but here you have to have money to eat. But I dont have strong opinions about the the election and I am a prolifer and I still believe that is the most important thing is that we are leaglizing murder. That just astounds me to.

But I dont feel like I am bitter or feeling hate. I just feel caucious and feel like our new future president needs to be gaurded in much prayer for he does have a difficult road ahead and I pray that he makes the right choices.

I am proud of how McCain gave his consession speach and I think that this may open the Door for governer Palin to run for president, I really hope so anyways. I think that would be awesome.

I also pray for our troops and the wars going on and that they right choices are made there because it will be come a sticky situation if we leave too soon. I feel we must make the right choices in order to make things a success.

Ok that Is all I have to say for now, Yes I am proud to be an American and yes I am not real exicted but I know that God is still in control. God Bless!

2008-10-28T10:18:00.000-04:00

2008-10-27T17:09:00.000-04:00

Leap of Faith

2008-10-27T09:55:00.002-04:00

Wow I can believe that it is already Mikes first day at his new Job. Read my other blog about the story of getting this new job.

Today is our first day walking in the ridicolous miracle that God has given us. We have to be faithful and we must be always ready to give back to God what he is his and be ready as the increases come that we first thank him for his Goodness and his grace.

This is a big step of faith because his prior job was a very comfortable job that he had been at for several years and was a very stable job. Then you probably ask why would you start looking for another job if you are stable in this one. Well Mike and I decided that inorder to get your ridicolous miracle that sometimes God wants you to take steps to get there. He wants you to trust that he is guideing your every move and your every step.

Sometimes we can get comfortable where we are at and not realize that God has something much much much more than we ever expected. His old job was about comfort and was actually so comfortable that you can get lazy in the sense that you are not trying to improve and that you dont have anything to look forward to as far as promotions.

Mike is the type that will give his all at whatever he does, nothing less than the best from him. So even though he was doing the work that no one wanted to do and that no one was willing to do he did it with no complaints, he worked every holiday like thanksgiving and christmas eve and christmas day for the last several years because no one wanted to do those days. He is so dedicated to whatever he does. I admire him for that. I was really tired of seeing the fruits of his labor no go noticed, although God does notice them. But when it came time for raises, the raises did not reflect his work ethic and didnt not reflect all that he gave. He never really complained about that either. But among other things, Mike was drawing closer to God and everyone at his old company wasnt and none of them are christains and live like world. Sad to know that they all need Jesus. I am sure that Mike will always pray for them because that is our duty and maybe now they will come to church since mike dosent work with them. Who knows.

God is awesome is all that I know. In order for you to grow in your daily walk with the Lord you have to take leaps of Faith, you have to take those steps out of your comfort zones and break the velvet handcuffs that are so keeping us away from the things of God. We try to tell our selves that were not chained down because they feel some comfortable, but those hand cuffs are what is slowly destorying us.

Ok I can go on forever, so I will quit now. But God is awesome to take that Leap of faith that he is calling you to take. Just Take it.

Trust Me I know what I am doing!

2008-10-13T13:49:00.005-04:00

So Mike and I have been praying and asking God when will we get ours? Its is coming? where is it at? All these kinda questions run through our minds. But as we have been praying and asking God what to do, we felt that God was calling us to take steps on our own behave and that we had to apply ourselves. So we both started applying for Jobs. But nothing has came up and nothing happened. We started to fell like ok God what is happening here? So we just needed to trust him more. Well Here starts the good part, a job that Mike had applied for called and wanted an interview. That was out of the blue.

Let me tell you about how the favor Of God works on someone. They really wanted Michael and choose him over someone who had more knowledge, but loved mikes honesty and integrity. Well the first offer was not real inticising and was riskey so Mike took another step of faith and turned down the job. We prayed hard and asked God to open or close the door if it wasn't right. We thought that was the end of it since we turned it down.

Well the door didn't close and it seemed to open wider that is was before, because that company pretty much said what will it take to get you to work for us? What employer does that? In this economy who does that? Wow I just know it was the favor of God on Mike (I am sure he can tell it better)and that is a ridiculous miracle because no one called him for a job no where. He even applied for part time jobs:)

Its hard to leave security and trust God will do what he says he will. Now we got to keep our eyes on him and you can walk on water.

Live life we no regrets and do what the father is tell you to. Just Trust me:)

Taking the first step is a doosie but then once we step out we wonder why we never did that before.

What holds you back?

2008-10-10T09:49:00.003-04:00

We all have things that hold us back from the fullness of God and what he has for us.
Its like we need to be set free everyday of the crap that we face day to day.

I know that know that I love to worship and praise his name. I feel like I am a praiser and a prophetic one at that. I don't say that to boast by no means, i think that it is scary in a sense because you become vulnerable with no preplanned practice and you just let it flow.

I play the saxophone and I know that talent was given to me by God. I play by ear and have been in a church that I could flow prophetically in that before.

When I came to New Vision Ministry Center I thought that I should play the Saxophone here, but I feel that God has a time a season for everything. Even though that is a passion for me to play, but it is more of a passion to come out of my comfort zone and worship him doing the flags and dancing before his name. I never had done that before but always wanted to deep down in my heart.

Now that I have been with wow for several months. I really feel that this is going to be a great calling and it is something that I want to do and worship his name no matter who is watching. There are so many thoughts that the enemy tries to put into my head when we do flags or dance on Sunday. Like for example, you look dumb, people will think that you are fake, people will think you are just putting on a show, etc etc etc.

Mike and I came from and church we had visited for about 3 months that didn't really agree with any type of worship expression, they played rock style music but weren't accepting and thought that it would scare people away. We essentially got called into the office and were rebuked in a weird way. I cant keep my worship in a box, I don't think that I will carry a cross to hide my worship, I think that it is almost a sin not to worship the one that created us and saved us from our junk. wow I am starting to preach like I use to in youth, when I was young.

I have so much that I feel is bottled up inside me, I know that I am called to speak to teens and especially teen girls and pre teen girls; because of what I have gone through at their age. But I am held back.

What holds you back? I said What holds you back? What ever it is that holds you then that thing needs to be broken off your life. It needs to be taken and broken into a 1000 pieces then swept away and put in the trash.

I want Him and I want ALL that he will give me. I am going to get it no matter what anyone thinks. I am just going to do it with no fear and with boldness.

Don't be held back and let God unleash in you a potential that you never you was there.

When will I get Mine?

2008-09-30T19:15:00.005-04:00

When will I get mine? Has been going on over and over in my mind. When will I get my miracle? The next 70 days will be ridicoulous miracles in our church, which was given by an evangelist that came. Its day 10 and there have been some pretty crazy testimonies given so far, so I keep thinking when will mine come.

Well I kinda think that we as humans tend to forget that we all are ridiculous miracles, God sent his son to die for us, when God could have taken us out a long time ago and started over, but he didn't. He wanted a type of people that would choose him no matter what, a sold out type of people. With out God we are pretty ridiculous creatures. Think about it, we are selfish, we want what feels good, and we what to do our own thing, and to God that is ridiculous.

So I am a ridiculous miracle that is still in need of help every day. So while I do believe that I am going to get a ridiculous blessing or a miracle. I realize that there is also one already taking place. ME:)

There is Power in the name of Jesus!

2008-09-25T09:55:00.003-04:00

I found this really touching or inspiring when you think about everything negative that goes with myspace.

I put one day on my status updates that Jesus is the Answer!

Well a person that I have as a friend wrote on his Jesus is NOT the Answer!

Well to say the least about this person, they claim atheism and try to get Christians riled up, but out side that I feel that are just a wounded and broken soul that needs Jesus desperate. If you are the person I am talking about know that Jesus loves you and he will never leave you or forsake you and not matter what you have done in your life he will forgive you. He is calling out to you and wants you to serve him so that he can do greater things through you that you have never imagined:)

Anyways My space deleted the comment and when they asked them why Mysapce said that they just couldn't have a comment like that or something to that effect.

I was in a state of Awe because there is Power in the name of Jesus and he will not be mocked. I smiled and laughed because He will defend his own cause. Demons and darkens tremble and flee at the sound of his name. That just sounded kinda ridiculous to me, because who would have thought that myspace would do that:)

God is awesome!

2008-09-25T09:42:00.002-04:00

God is awesome, it was first want to start off saying. I know that he is real and the he loves each of us.

At church last Sunday a visiting evangelist came and declared that the next 70 days were going to be ridiculous miracles that are going to happen in the church or too people in the church. There was a lady that was healed from her hurting neck. There was a man that said there was no more cancer when the Doctor went and did another cat scan. Amazing stuff.

So I began to think about ok God if something is going to change in my life what is it going to be. I am starting to get impatient and say I want it now. I need a change in our finances in my business I need something to change. So I am expecting God to do something so amazing in my families life and it will bring many to know Jesus.

I have a couple of friends that are real consertative christians, they dont think you can talk in tounges and people that do it are just making it up and that they just get worked up, I told them that I can speak in tounges at anytime, and that I can control it. They didnt understand how you can say something that you dont understand, and I said exactly no one understands it or its call believeing and trusting God. To the human it sounds ridicoulous dosent it, but when you see it with the spirit then you know its real.

There are those who have desired to speak in tournges and to receive God gifts on their life and I feel that God is fixing to answer their desires and their longings. Its sounds ridicoulous to the human mind, but its going to be great:)

I know it, its going to be awesome:) Tomorrow about this time.........somethings gonna change:)

PS I didnt win the lottery, actually no one did this time, but I guess that wasnt my ridicoulus miracle, lol:)

Trip to Nashville

2008-09-15T15:13:00.003-04:00

We left last Thursday night and headed down to Nashville, Tn for a Dance conference By Lynn Hayden. She is a wonderful and talent women of God that has lead dance teams and done dance for many of years. Its awesome to see her. She brings the Holy spirit with her and is moving in the gifts of the Holy Spirit. God is really using her. One thing that she teaches or demonstrates is prophetic dance. Which is speaking in to some ones life through dance, it is awesome and like wow. She dance Prophetically over me several times and I felt the holy spirit and was moved deeply as I wept in front of a whole lot of people. It lasted Friday and Saturday and was so exhausting at times but to be in a place away from your regular cares of the world was moving. One thing she did was called breakthrough and you all get a partner and stand in a huge line and hold hands and then people started running through the line and breaking the hands as they run through. This represents breaking all the problems and junk and yuck that you have in your life. When it was my time to run, something in me started to break and when I looked down the long line to start breaking through I couldn't at first I started to cry of course, and when I started to run it was as if I was taking flight and weights were being broken and lifted, it was an amazing feeling to say the least, powerful.

There were many teachings on different types of dance and dance team related issues that were gone over. One night she did a prophetic dance called about Hiding place and it was really awesome.

We went with 8 of the ladies out of our group and getting to know each of them and see them touched was truly amazing. Each one of the them would make you laugh at different times it was really funny:)

Then Sunday night we got to ministry at a Baptist church and it was awesome. The atmosphere was so charged with acceptance and the Holy Ghost that I wondered if it was a baptist church, the people were baptist the church was baptist but the Holy Ghost was there. The pastors wife came in to our room before we started and when she left she said I feel the Holy Ghost in here. Then when we did our first song it was like wow Im feeling it. I played the sax to them doing some flags to Light the fire song, it was intense and tiring, then we did our other songs and some of our group gave testimonies and some sang and the whole thing was the most awesome experience and it showed Gods love, mercy, forgiveness, peace and that he in the worship of him. It was awesome!!

Well as I put on my Twitter messages God moved in a special way for one person in our group that night. There leg had been hurting all day and she could not stand on it all day and was struggling and struggling all day, Well when she went to do her dance I felt in my spirit that she was healed and then she started leaping and jumping for joy it was like wow, God just healed her. It was amazing and such a beautiful thing. God is so great and he is wonderful. We were all in shock and awe of what God plans our for our lives, here we thought that we were going to go to this conference and be touched so much and then the very thing that touched us was us ministering to a group of people that needed to be ministered too. It was a high Awesome!!!!!!! Yeah I am so happy:)

The trip

2008-09-11T22:54:00.002-04:00

We finally got down here to nashville, that was a long trip, seemed like it took forever and ever. craziness. The women are really funny and each have their own personalities. god is going to do some great things tomorrow and I can wait for the conference to really get started. Its gonna start tomorrow and hopefully we will be ready to get going in the morning. God bless and we will get more info tomorrow about the conference when we get back to the hotel.

I stink, You stink, we all stink :)

2008-09-08T15:53:00.003-04:00

I have learned one thing is that I am a stinking human who is in constant need of a savior. NO ONE is perfect and if you think that you don't stink then let me tell you, you do. But that's OK I know someone that will make you smell very good.

I try to love everyone, but its hard and I choose to do it, but I am a failure at that too. But just think of the sweet smell of the holy spirit that would be sent forth when we choose to contain our anger and our unwholesome and non worthy blabbing. Talking, bragging, boasting, is something that people get tired of hearing. Belive me I hear it and I think wow I hope that I dont do that, so I try (sometimes fail at it) not to do that. I found in life that Observing is the best way to be, you dont anything, you just let everyone else say all the unnecessary things and then bam thats it, You only speak if you feel that Holy spirit guiding you to speak.

Reading the love chapter 1 Corinthians 13 over and over, and the scripture that says a soft answer turns away wrath is pricless.

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Psalms 15:1

Live by this and people will either be touched or get even more mad, is what I found. So when I really want to let someone have it, the best thing is to not give into that anger.

I have heard about Karma and that what Goes around comes around, to tell you the truth I think that was made up by someone who is angry and bitter and what jurt by someone and wanted to see them fall and they took in that persons heart ache. I dont like to see it when someone gets hurt or falls, or is having a rough time, I dont, even if they may deserve it.

Here is a great story one for the books on this topic:

To say the least I was in a bad relationship when I was young, with this guy who physically abused and verbally hurt me, I was really a mess. well that lasted for 2 years when one day God brought me back to him. (High School is when all that happened) well It was a couple of weeks before prom and everyone was getting all in a tizzy about who they were taking, what they were wearing, and well that guy who was such a jerk to me was working on his car one day on the side of the road when his raidator blew up right in his face, messed his skin all up, it looked really bad. I couldnt beleive what I had heard and someone said to me dosent that make you feel good after how he treated you, my flesh wanted to say yes yes yes yes, but I knew that I should not deliet in someone elses pain, it just didnt seem right. yeah he was bad and hurtful and took me a while to get over it. But it is not my place to wish revenge on someone. ... Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Romans 12:19. I feel that anything that would do would be more than I could to do someone anyway, but why live with hate, malice, anger, bitterness, and all that ulgy stuff, it will eat at you and eat at you till it destroys you.

Those are my thoughts for today, I cant wait till practice tonight for the wings of worship I think that it is going to be awesome.

Here is a thought!

2008-09-03T08:09:00.003-04:00

In order to be truly free and move in God, we have to begin to accept our selves for who God made us to be. we are all different shapes and sizes and there is no right size. It doesn't matter what people think because God is the one who made us, every fiber of our being he made and he is our Creator. When someone says negative things about us they are talking about God, because we are his image. So they better watch out. That is just a thought that I was having this morning:)

Give him our all

2008-09-02T20:33:00.002-04:00

So i have been studying some and reading different books about mimeing and some devotionals about using our bodies to please God.

So here are some thoughts about praising and worship God.

He made us and formed us so why not trust him to do his thing with us.

We should use our body, soul, and spirit to give him our whole being, everything we got. We should give it back to him. With out the sacrifice of Jesus his only begotten son, the ultimate show of love, there would be nothing.

Psalms 138:1-I will praise thee with my whole heart...

Psalms 9:1- I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works.

2 Corinthians 10:5-casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ
(when we obey God and don't give into the wrong thoughts then we are worshiping God)

We need to praise, honor, obey, and exhaust him so our appetites will be after him and the things of him and that we will come to a place that we cannot get enough of what he has done for us.

Moving in God and the things of God is his will and not our own, when we are prideful we are selfish, and when we are woe is me and pitiful acting we are selfish because we are stuck on our selves. we should be paying attention to the things of God and he will and he is way not our own.

Those are some random thoughts and things that I have been studying about. I could preach on this stuff. God is awesome and he is the creator and maker of all things, The Author of life is what I like to say. He writes that pages in my book, he is the director of my movie. Ok I could go on but I am not. God Bless all.

Always be ready to Listen.

2008-08-29T19:37:00.003-04:00

I think that silence is a wonderful thing, you can hear things that you either never heard or you have taken for granted.

Sometimes God is wanting us to do certain things and we dont hear his voice. It could be that we are ment to bless someone with money or food, or a gift and if we dont hear what God is saying we could rob someone of a blessing that God is intending for us to give them, now if you dont do want he is wanting you to do there may be someone that does it and takes your place to do it, but one thing for sure is that if you dont do what God tells you to do that it wont have the greatest impact that it could of had.

So go in freedom to listen to what God is telling you to do, dont be quick to answer and blab stuff, just take time to speak, because that is wisdom knowing when to talk and when to listen, which I am in need of some wisdom.

So Go and try to listen to others and to God, just be quiet and see what could happen:)

Moving in the Prophetic

2008-08-29T19:20:00.002-04:00

There are so many things to say about the Prophetic.

I like this verse because it speaks to those who someone may think is too young to understand the things of God, It talks about having prophetic words spoken over you. Its really neat.

1 Timothy 4:12-16

Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit,^[b] in faith, in purity. 13 Till I come, give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. 14 Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership. 15 Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all. 16 Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.

1 Corinthians 14:1
1 Pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy.

2 Peter 1:19-21
19 And so we have the prophetic word confirmed,^[a] which you do well to heed as a light that shines in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts; 20 knowing this first, that no prophecy of Scripture is of any private interpretation,^[b] 21 for prophecy never came by the will of man, but holy men of God^[c] spoke as they were moved by the Holy Spirit.

Moving in the Prophetic is so cool, when I say that I mean that when you totally give yourself over to God and the Holy spirit moves on you and and you feel him then do you dance, speak, worship, or whatever God has you do. The bottom line is that you give yourself over to God and move in his will and open your heart to him totally. Awesome stuff it is. But remember that Love is still the most important thing and without it there is nothing else.

The Freeman does not belong to himself!

2008-08-25T13:54:00.002-04:00

So I came across this and was actually stopped at what this means. The freeman does not belong to himself but to the one who set him free.

How awesome is that! We have been singing about freedom to worship God in church and also I have been studing about freedom him in many different ways. This saying says it all and brings me to a place that makes me realize that when Jesus set us free, that we then belong to him. So when we worship and when we live in this world we should remember that everything we do we should to him who set us free. HE, JESUS Set us free and we should remember that he is the only one that can do that. ONLY through him can we truly be free to worship him. We are giving back to him when we worship in his freedom because he gave it to us.

That is so cool!!!

There is a season for everything!

2008-08-18T11:34:00.002-04:00

This one thing has been echoing in my mind. I have been hearing it in church and small groups. That there is a season for everything. Meaning for me is that I am not going to be doing just one talent all my life. That God may have me doing worship music with my sax on time and then working in the nursery another. Or doing flags during worship or just being silent.

The key is that we have been in constant prayer and communication with Jesus in order to hear what it is we are suppose to be doing in our lifes. That sometimes our own agenda, or our faults, or self conscious views get in the way of what it is that God is wanting us to do.

The point is listen to what God is wanting you to do for that season and do it the best that you can and give your all back to him:)

Refreshing Time

2008-08-05T19:29:00.005-04:00

My family have been really getting back to the heart of what worship really is and what it means. I am talking about worshiping God and giving back to him all the talents and knowledge that he has given us. I dont want to be ashamed of what God has done, is doing, and will do for us. Without him we are nothing. I dont care what people think of me or how I worship or whatever. I think that God will be the judge of us in the end and he will say to us, why were you ashamed of me and why havent you worshiped me with all your heart and mind and soul. I think that worship comes in many different ways, it comes in music, singing, playing instruments, tithing and offerings, using our talents for him, sharing the love of God with others I feel is a form of worship. I also think that we should show him physical expression such as dancing, or running if we feel lead to run, or whatever we feel lead to do for his name then I feel that we shouldnt be afraid and just do it. God is the one who saved us and gave us his only son so that we might live in eternity with him, he made us, created us, and breathed life into us. How dare we not praise his holy name, how dare we not, is what I say. Oh well that is what I have to say for now. Take care and God bless!

Old time Jail House~Lets eat in Death Row!

2008-08-03T09:18:00.003-04:00

Last night my family and some friends ours when to eat that this pizza place that use to be an old jail house. You can see the Ohio river from the windows, great view but I am sure that old building had some stories to tell. As we looked aroung the place, it was pretty iron foretified and looked escapable, But up stairs was the ones that they put on death row, you can actually eat in those. Now that I think about it, it is a wierd and morbid concept. To eat where someone had been miserable and burdened was really sad. There was this one spot that had a trap door, and above the trap door was a place that they put nooses for hangings. As you walked over the trap door which is now covered you can see the place where they hung the ropes. I was a little saddened as my heart felt heavy. Not necessaryly feeling ghosts or anything but feeling that there possible might be some injustice that still is presence there. Meaning that maybe people were done injustly and put to death. As a chrisitian I beleive that demonic presences are real and that they are evident in life. its like you can sense a place where the devil lives and where the blood of Jesus hasnt been preached or pleading of this building. and in the rooms of death row. I cant imagine the pain or the evil that has resided there. but upon leaving I prayed for Jesus to cover us and that nothing would bother us as we left. I will always remember that there is hope for all even someone in a jail cell that Jesus is every where, even if we dont feel his presence, he is still there and sees everything and know everything, and that if something was done unjustly that he would have the last say in all things. anyways I guess that the food was good, but I probably wont be back there again or anything soon.

Freedom to Worship the Creator

2008-07-30T08:28:00.002-04:00

In the last couple of months my family and I have been discussing the try meaning of worship and how we are suppose to worship and give back to God for all that he has done for us.

Several months ago my husband was touched by God in a worship service that was going on at the church that we were attending at that time. God moved on him and he ran in the church. He ran to the back area and wasnt showing off or anything like that. The worship was great by something quenced that ignition that made my husband and I take a deeper look at worshiping God. Well what happened was the pastor of that church stopped him and told him that he was "freaking People out man" were the exact words. I was deeply sadden by this because there were so many people that thanked mike for stepping out to worship God. The one who created us and saved us from all our sin, who gave his ONLY son so that we could go to heaven. How can we hold everything back and just play church and sit and not praise the glorious one who made is all possible. we talked with that pastor at a later date and we were not impressed or felt that we should stay there. Pretty much we felt that is was a church made for a certain type of people and all werent as welcome as I thought. They didnt want to scare anyone away, but it seems that if someone wants to be scared away they really do want to be there. I am so tired of the new types of churches that come in and sit and dont ingage with Jesus. It seems that they are ashamed of what God has done. I dont want to please man and the only one we should please is God. We didnt leave that church with harsh words or anything but I did state that if they dont realize that the church belongs to God not them and that he created us all to be free to worship and free to run. and free to live for him, without worring about offending someone.

I guess that belief is that when you subdue your urge to praise that you are dying to slef and not giving to the flesh and that there are other ways to worhsip, the other ways to worship part is so ture. You give of your money, time and talents. You share with others the love of God.

All in all I have found that there is NO freedom when you have to worry about offending people. That so what if we do offend them, its not by our own selves that any one will accept Jesus, it is his calling and he pursuing that engages them not us. Sure we do the sowing and plant seeds and nurture, train, and counsel them but we dont save anyone, it is only him that can do that. So when it is true worship and when some runs, jumps, shouts or praises God however it is God who will judge if it is right or not.

So we left that church becuase we knew our hearts was to be in constant worshipful and pursuing after him with everything, I mean everypart of our lives. and to find a church that freedom reigns.

We are exicted to know that we have found that place and that Going to New Visions Ministry Center is awesome. You see people getting saved all the time, you see that God is doing it, and that his presence is here. He is doing something for the city of Louisville with this Church and he is bringing back the worship to him. Worship and have a relationship with him and EVERYTHING else will fall into place. Accept him as the LORD of your life with Jump Start everthing. It will be hard and it will be tough, but I always say GOd wont give you anything that he didnt think that you couldnt handle.

Go out there and worship him, share the love of God, be a friend, mentor, and person of his name.

Train derailment-January 16,07-update on God’s Goodness

2008-07-28T23:51:00.000-04:00

When a train derailed approximately 100 meters from my front door, needless to say, my families life was changed forever.
On January 16, 2007 was a day that I will never forget. At the time I was approx 6 weeks pregnant. My 2 1/2 year old son was still asleep in bed while I was awake with morning sickness stairing at the ceiling. At about 8:30 am in on that tuesday morning I heard the usual rumble of the train tracks go by, but something didnt feel right in the air. It started to get louder and louder, my house windows shook and I immediatley thought its a tornado, then I said wait its not storming, I ran across the house to my sons room, but before I picked him I peaked through his blinds, and saw the most scary thing I had ever saw. A hugh ball of flamed rose over 100 feet into the air, the heat was so hot I could feel it through the glass window. I was in total awe of this crazy explosion. I think I said oh crap or somehting like that and scooped up my son and began getting clothes and things ready to get out of the house. I called my husband at work and told him what happened and he really didnt believe me at all, but soon realized I was not joking at all. He immediately tried to come and get me because the road to our house is right next to the tracks and he knew I couldnt drive out. I looked out side again to see the train had derailed and was in flames and the the black smoke filled the air and was comming toward our house. I was scared and remember praying god please protect my unborn baby. My husband urged me to go to the neighbors to the back of me, so i gathered everything I thought I might need which was not much. My son got himself dressed (which he never done before) and was ready to go. we left the house and the whole time he kept trying to look at what was going on. The neighbour actually took a picture of us leaving with the black smoke filling the air. We stayed at the neighbours hosue till we were told to leave by the fire department, but at this time my neighbours were trying to take of their dogs cause the own a kennel. So I told them that I was leaving. The fireman said you have to walk across the field to go around the fire. I was like uhhh ok if thats what I got to do. Well try holding your 2 1/2 year old and being pregnant while walking across a field of unmowed grass with lots of animal waiste, It was approx 2 or more acres. That was craziness. I was reunited with my husband who was not allowed to come to house but was only allowed to stay at a road block. I did take one last look and new that I would never see the house that was again, and I was right, we never moved back into that house again. I ended up loosing the baby, which was really hard. After approx 6 or so months of living in hotels, apartments, and other places. We finally settled with the train company. We dont own that house anymore, we have another one, which is better. We dont live near the tracts anymore. I have to say that I thank God that it had rained a couple of days before which made the rail cars sink instead of slide into our houses. God spared our lives. we have to trust him and listen to him and he will guide our paths. Over a year later I now have a new son which I would not have had. He is an absolute joy and I thank God for him. Its hard for people to understand that everything we owned was either cleaned or thrown away, and we didnt get anything back for at least 6 months. That was a long 6 months of having my 2 year old scared of any loud noise and be afraid to sleep on his own. I never want to do that again, he was out of routine and I know he must have been stressed, but I am sure God helped him deal with it, cause he was happy just being with us and holding us. home is not the building you live but the people that you cant replace is where its at. God is good!

Sunday Testimony!

2008-07-21T15:59:00.004-04:00

My familiy and I are currently going to New Vision Ministry Center. Last Sunday was such an awesome experience that I will never forget.

I know that people never want to admitt what we need to work on. Like if its our attitudes or whatever.

I have pretty much been saved all my life, since I was 6, I was filled with the holy spirit and spoke in toungues around that time too. I have been witnessing and sharing with others ever since I was young. My family always reading the bible together every night. So you can say that I have been with God for a long time, But even though I had all that, I dont think that I had a true relationship with God until I was about in the 9th grade. But something happend to me when I was in high school that made me turn and run away from God. I met this boy that was good at first but he ended up being no so great. He turned from God himself and became and very mean and controling boyfriend. One thing that I read was that young girls go though a time where they start their self esteem over when they become a teenager. That is the truth for sure. That boy emotionally abused me, I was constantly told that I was trash, or squashable like a bug, or no good. I began to believe this, even though that I would not admitt this to any one. He did not respect me at all. There were times that I was physically abused by that same boy. I was slammed against the wall and no one cared, not even the teacher. After approx 2 years of living under this control and negative influence, needless to say I was pretty messed up. I was angry and alone.

I didnt have any friends because I didnt want to hear I told you so's. I didnt feel like I had anyone to tell this too because when you have gone through different situations the last thing you need to hear from someone is I told you so's. I was very emotionally unstable and I didnt trust anyone,

I was set free from the relationship and did get back to church, but not until last sunday after 9 years of thinking that I was over this did I realize that I wasnt. I still believe that I wasnt worth anything or no one likes me. I just know that the words that we speak to others can never be taken back and once we say something it could have a great impact over the rest of our lives. without Gods help true healing cannot take place.

I would like to say that sunday I was emotionally healed and that what I held on to for so long and that was pushed deep in side my sould was brougt to the surface and was finally over. When I heared the message on sunday I saw things in my own heart and soul that I knew that this message was for me. Before I was at the alter I knew that I had to go up there. I knew God said that this was for you. It was for me. Thanks for New Vision Ministry center in Louisville.

I know kow that I have a passion for young girls and teens in general to know that the choices that they do now could affect them forever. When I see young girls in this kind of emotional stress I see their pain, I feel it so strong. No matter how strong with think we are and how close we might feel that we dont have to read the bible or worship God or to be in his presence that isnt true. we must every day choose to love and be with him, we must choose it every day to take up the banner and run a marathon for his name sake.

No matter how great your relationship is with God it dosent matter. we must daily train ourselves and never stop. we have to take a look deep within and heal those hurting places in our hearts. we must admit our failures and our pains and give them to God.

Just give everything over to the lord and know that he is your only source of strength and that he only can be the one to heal all your pain and your inner most thoughts and struggles.

The Unexpected

2008-07-15T13:51:00.002-04:00

In dealing with the unexpected death of a dear friend and xco-worker. I found my self giving into my feelings of the purpose of life. I asked God what is the purpose of life if we all are going to die, and no one will remember us and people will continue on and no one will remember. I realized that I was going over in to deeper waters of a slight depression. But I started to change my attitude when I was reminded that our life is no about this physical body,its about what we do for jesus and what we give back to him for letting us live to the point that we are at. Without his mercy, love, and forgivenss we all would have parrished a long time ago. I am blessed to be alive and live for the amount of time that I have so far. I often think about the two miscarriages that I lost, my babies that I never got to physically hold, I think about how one of them was with me during a awesome mission trip to Mexico and how they got to feel Jesus moving through me and touching others. That was all they needed to know that they wanted to be with him forever. Wow I think about getting to heaven a meeting my babies for the first time, they will be there to great me and that is all the reconigition that I need for this earth. My welcome home party is what I like to call it.

Death is something that will come to all of us, some sooner than others, but God's plan for our lives is much bigger than we can ever imagine. You never know the people that you will touch just by your everday walk and talk with God.

So all in all, Jesus took it all and nothing I experience will ever comepare to his sacrific and that my feelings are not what motivates me. Its seeing my babies in heaven one day and getting others to see them with me. So whatever that cost will be I will serve his name. Jesus the name above all names.

Ok I am done, I could talk and preach, and teach all day.

2008-07-08T19:27:00.002-04:00

Ryder is so funny, he was so cute trying to eat these and gagging at the same time, at least he tried to eat them. He was a trooper:)

Who cares what others think, I will be what God has made me!

2008-07-02T14:38:00.002-04:00

Some times I get down and out and feel just really like crap. Then I remember that I was made in the image of God and that when someone talks about me and or puts me down or is negative to me that they are being that way to God, since I was made in his image. If I do that to others I am also doing that to do God, so with that in mind I try to focus and remember that God made everyone for a reason and no matter what we may think or feel about them he has his reasons, By us being able to forgive wrongs that are done to us, can create such a sweet frangrance of love for that person who was the one that had done something is amazing. God's love is endless and is mercyful and knows no boundaries. One sin is that same as another, One thing that God taught me when I was in Mexico ministering at the prision out side of Ciudad Juarez, was that even though I was in the presence of gang members, murders, theifts, and sexual offenders and God knows whatever else. That their sins where no different in the eyes of God than mine. I found my self being able to see them as people and friends of God and men of God inside this prision. They were the most loving and forgiving people that I ever met. It was amazing to here the stories and testmonies of these men, God is really an awesome God and only he can forgive the way that he does. I hope that In my life with God's help I can be forgiving and mercyful as him. God Bless all and know that no matter what, God Forgives and loves you. Take care!

The Boys!

2008-06-12T23:35:00.001-04:00

Dominic at the Zoo, his favorite place.
Ryder going alone for the ride:)
Get this out of my face mom.
Brothers!
This is some good food, mushy though, but gooood.

Whats been happening on this winedy road called life.

2008-06-12T20:50:00.002-04:00

My husband and I have experienced a few ups and downs in the last couple of months. To say the least I think that God sometimes let us experience some trials to appreciate how much life is really a gift.

My Husband, Mike who I feel is one of the most active men I know. He is constantly working out or running several miles. He is actually working toward running in the Marine Corp Marathon in October of this year. So he can put down like 10 miles with no complaints. He ran the Derby Marathon here in Kentucky a couple of years ago and has wanted to run the Marine one in washington DC since he is a Former Marine. In preparing for that he has had a few road blocks in his training. A couple of weeks ago he went in for a routine check up and found that his Bilirubin levels where high, which could mean a lot of things. he went to a specialist and has his liver looked at over an ultrasound and did lots of blood test and come to find out it looks like he just has high bilirubin in his blood, which is called Gilberts syndrome. Nothing big but before we found that out I was a complete wreck, and worry came over me like a dark could, but I asked for prayer for some friends and found that it helped and lifted the dark could i called worry away.

Then everything was going good and my husband who has been working out and running and digging fence holes for a privacy fence we are installing, started having problems breathing in deep, that progressed worse to where he couldnt lay down or on his side and couldnt cough because it gave him so much pain. So we went to the ER, U of L Er which was the first time we had been there, it was actually kinda dirty place it seemed, but he was seen fairly quickyl and put on the heart montior and EKG to make sure that there where not heart issues going on. Well that turned out fine and come to find out his Chest X-ray showed that he might have a slight case of Pneumonia going on, so they gave him heavy anitbiotics to clear it up. So all his progress for training in the marathon was haulted and the fence was haulted and anything else that is heavy straining. BLahhhhhhhhh,

But with some prayers said Mike is definately improving and getting better and better, so hopefully he will start getting back to a routine again.

Ryder is already 4 month and a couple weeks old and is getting stronger and stronger. He is tall and growing.

Dominic is trying to be in everything wanting to learn and has figured out that he can play video games. He is learning and talking at a fast paced and wanting to soak everything in and even memecking our personalities, that is scary. So I am challenged to watch every little thing I do because he will sure copy it. Thats good motivation to change the yucky parts of me.

So next week we head to Arkansas to see my grandparents and doms first time in Arkansas, that will be interesting.

I guess that is all for now, one thing I do know is that God is so incontrol of everything and nothing goes unnoticed or unloved because he is there.

God Bless!

2008-06-12T20:41:00.002-04:00

Mike being silly at a baby shower.

Dominic one day at the Zoo.

Grandpa with Baby Ryder Francisco Garcia(4 months old)

Dominic showing me where countries are on the map, probably pointing to the Philippines where uncle chris and Aunt Cathee, and cousin Samuel live.

Ryder doing what he does best, Smiling:)

2008-05-19T19:23:00.002-04:00

God is Awesome!!

I find myself in constant remembrance that God is truly awesome and it shows in everything. In hanging with my 4 year old son almost everyday I have a new found love of nature and the tinyest of things. I have found a new love of earth worms, moths, wasps, birds, and pretty much anything that his little eyes can notice, which is everything. We cant walk a few steps with out him taking the time to smell the flowers and I mean smelling the flowers. I have found it relaxing to look through the eyes of a child once again. It shows that God did take the time to create a beautiful place that each animal and living creature has a place a purpose. even if those purposes are for annoyance or bothersome.

In the bible it talks about speaking as a child and I think that has come to mean to mean stop analyzing everything and take it for what it is. If it is a spider then its a spider.

Kids are awesome.

My hairless cat Ivy is also like a child and I find that I get on to her as much as my four year old. I look at her and learn that everyone needs to be loved even if they dont look or act like we may. Everyone was created in the image of God, I am talking about humans. Animals are important but Humans are much more important. They are the ones that have souls and are the hardest to love. Which is where God calls us to it to labors of love. Anyways thats all for now I can go on and on if I want to. GOD IS AWESOME!!

2008-04-24T21:05:00.001-04:00

Whatever I got to be God, I'll be for you.

2008-02-25T23:23:00.002-05:00

This something that has come up in the last couple of days. No matter who says I cant do something when I feel God is telling me to do it. I wont listen, I dont care what people think about how I worship and praise God and what is acceptable and not acceptable. If God says worship me this way or I feel the need to get a little lively then I will. I want to praise and honor God with everything that is with in me, not just become part of the church pew or seats. We say we are different from regular churches or traditional churches, but we still condem in nicer more loving ways.

God whatever you want me to be, I'll be for you and no one else but you.

2008-02-25T10:09:00.001-05:00

Baby Ryder Francisco Garcia
3weeks old

Big Brother Dominic and Ryder

Ivy the Hairless Sphynx Cat

Ivy the Hairless Cat.

Can you Juggle?

2008-02-15T15:27:00.002-05:00

I have asked my self this question in the last couple of weeks. I feel like I am juggling everything in my life. My kids, husband, friends, church, house hold chores, and entertainment. I am sure that there are many things I can name that I feel are on that list. I am forced to learn how to be a juggler. I must manage my time, money, and talents. It must be effective when I do it. I must do it with all my heart. I find my self wanting to do more with church and helping others. Its hard when you havent learned the best way to time management. Sometimes I think that God does want us to learn to take care of families with all our hearts first before we can be effective in leading and helping others. If we cant take care of our families or learn to love them for who they are then how can we be the most effective in helping others see the love of God in us. So I have been trying to master the love of my family, which I think means my husband and kids. Then outside that is the other part of the family. So i have to master being the best wife and mother before I can be anything else. I was told by someone that I have been mean lately. It hurt me because I dont think that at all. Its just I am soly focused on taking care of my husband and kids and I am learning how to be the most effective with that. So its hard to focuse on anything else right now, because I feel that is where God has brought me this last past year.

So how well are you juggling your life circumstances?