Another year wiser, lol

I have been doing some thinking. I know I hear some of you say Uh oh, here she goes again, lol.

So my brithday was on wed and I turned (cough cough) lets just say from now on every birthday will be 25. :)

Its not soo bad, I have alot to be thankful for and God's provision providing for my family is Amazing.  A lot has happened this past year.  Lots of changes going on.  But one thing I do know in the midst of k oss and uncertainty, God's word, love, and strength never fails me. 

I hear cable and internet customers on a daily basis who are angry and upset but its not because the cable dosent work, its because of the stresses of every day life and when you sit down to relax and your cable is out,  all the frustrations then become a reality and then manifest into upset customers.

But what I really see is America as a nation of stressed, hurting, sad, and desperately Americans.  Yes many countries call us selfish and such, but growing up in America unless you seek what happens in others countries your unaware of how they live and then assume that every where is like where your at.

As I hear the stories of every day Americans, upper, middle, lower class Americans, all types,  all nationalities I see the common trend.  They just want someone to listen.  Then need someone to just listen and feel like that person feels concerned for the situation and whats going on.

So my point is,  Whether you speak to 50 people a day or whatever it is that you do throughout the day, at work, church, the store, the mall, grocery story.  Look around and see that Americans need a break meaning they need a smile, they need happiness, they need love, they need to see something different than the typical get out of my way Americans, they need to see selfless humans, who notice those around them.

So start acting like people around you exist and you will see a whole new light.  Dont get caught up in your business that you forget to share the one gift you can give that dosent cost anything, your smile and your attention.

I challenge you to take a step out of your comfort zone,  Smile, look someone in the eye, (eyes are the window to the soul) Take notice of those around you, and see the pain and hurt, and then do something, smile, notice them, say thank you, do something simple and open the eyes of your heart and you will see a whole new picture.

Sitting on Air

Ok the last Ill say 3 weeks have been really just one long blur,  Started with sickness in the house.  Both kids got sick, then I got sick, my sickness lasted for 2 weeks straight ended up on antibiotics but not able to eat for around 2 weeks,  Finally my body is recouping but now my kids are sick again with strep this time.  So now they are getting antibiotics and hopefully Ill be able to remember to give them to them.  So I am back to work and trying to get use to the swing of things again.  still have loads and mountainous piles of laundry stacked and ready for washing and to be put away.  But in all honestly will never make it on the hanger or in the drawer.  At least I do have a great hubby who says I never have to wash dishes again, which Im am surely glad for that, and so far he has kept them up to date and clean which by the way is completely awesome, :) but i am still behind on the cloths and keepin the can clean, so next stop car wash, :)

Other than that God has been teaching me sooo many different things.  Through readings and books, and even every day things and quotes and even experiences that I have came across lately.   I have really been thinking and pondering on what to do and where God wants to take my family and I. We have been searching as to what it is we are suppose to do with our lives and with our times here in Ky and for the rest of our lives.  Media in the church or media in the christian world is something we definitely want to move forward with but after having served most of the last several years in church and giving every second we had available to it we want to touch other through media, new ways to intrigue the mind, to get the creative juices flowing so that others will start to think of things they have never thought or even dreamed of before. God is soo good and amazing that I am simply amazed every second I turn around, he is there, and he is in every thing.  Welll that is all for now and all I can think of to write.  I am encouraged and knowing that Jesus loves me is all I need to dwell in his arms.

Its like something fell from the sky and hit me on the head.

Ok so here are somethings I have really been growing in my spirit lately.  I always have understood the concept of the Bride and the Bridegroom references in the bible. It has never really clicked in my heart until about a few months back when I went to a womens conference.  It wasn't the conference that made it click it was God wooing me to something much much much more than just a regular church mentality.  It was simply amazingly wonderful. 

I was simple in love for a few days with the lover of my soul.  yes it showed in my attitude and everything else.  But then I began to fade a little bit and revert back to my old ways.    Then I feel like something fell out of the sky and hit me on the head as to say wake you sleepy head its time to prepare for the wedding day is at hand.  My soul awoke and I began what I call wooing, pursuing, and longing to see my King. 

You see life is not about, all the problems, events, and troubles we are facing.  Its not about going to church to get something or to receive kudos for following a commandment.  Its about going past the outer courts and into the Holy of Holies.  We take for granted what this means.

I have read through again the God chasers book by Tommy Tenny and I have recently found another one of his books called Finding Favor with the King.  I was unsure of reading it for I have heard the Story of Ester soooo many times that I was like I am unsure.  Well just so ya know this was the only book by Tommy Tenny which I was looking for his other God chasers, but this was the one for this time.   I hate reading but when I started reading I became engaged and yearning to read more and more.

It was also about pursing the kings heart and not his palace and so he will favor you as his bride. Which I just finished Completely His and few months back which was also on the Bride and some traditions of the Jewish custom. 

In reading this book T. Tenny I find that this book is about the modern church and how Esters life really pursues the fact that the church today has gotten lost in the glory of the palace rather than the glory of the king himself as a lover of our soul.  We pursue the glory of the place in the blessings, the fame, the I need God to do something for me.  I am sick I NEED to be healed,  I Need to Sell a House or Ill face forclosure, etc etc the list is endless,  We get lost in the outer courts that we never really ever enter the holy of holies because we have not done the proper perpareing to meet the king.  We come and complain about sister Margaret is not doing this or that, or she sat in my chair, or what in the world was she yelling like that, or why did they choose this song, or I dont like, this isnt right, etc etc.. You know what I am talking about because I have done the same exact thing.  We literally give off an oder in Gods  nostrils and smells so bad that he cant even come in the door.  We forget the process and the preparation it takes for our hearts to truly seek him for who is he is not what he can do for me. 

Church is about God's agenda not about our agendas and plans,  Sorry friends my heart is yearning to seek the gaze of his eyes into mine.  I want to be held by the King and listen to his heart speak.   See when we are totally intune with his heart our hearts beat as one and what we do is what he would do and there is no need for justification when we truly beat with his heart. 

Cloth your self with praise adorn yourself with worship, put on his favorite color, and cry tears and passionate longing from your heart and He will be moved by desire to see his face.  


Becoming his bride, once we get this and it truly clicks, the rest of everything else fades, yes life storms around us and things happen, but gazing on his face will guide us to the right place,  The wedding supper of the lamb. 

Blizzards-He has fire in his eyes, which warms my soul

This is something cool that God spoke to me as I was driving home from work the other night.

You see I have recently gone back to work and let me just say I am thankful for God provision and timing, with out this job coming right when it did I am just not sure where we would be.

We are currently trying to sell either one of our 2 houses.  Yes some say its a good problem to have but in looking at it, not so sure that it is.  First of all own 2 houses is advice that I would not give anyone to do.  Sell your current one before you purchase a 2nd one.  We are left with 2 mortgages and 2 utility payments.  Can you say stressed, very stressed.  This last past year 2010 was a whirl wind of emotions.  Loss of a church that my family was 100 and ten percent dedicated to, loss of friends and acquaintances, loss of self, loss of trust and etc,  Going back to work full time, putting my photography business slightly on hold, but still doing it on the side.  Adjusting to being a mom, wife, full time employee, and everything else in between all those.  So stressed that I longed for the touch, the presence, peace, and everlasting love of the fathers glance at me.  I sought it out.

I happen to come across a womens meeting that Evangel was hosting where a awesome author of Every woman's battle,  was going to be along with Justin Rizzo and worship leader from international House of Prayer.  I went alone with no one.

As I sat and listened to the worship and began to feel something change inside of me,  I knew that God was stirring something and becoming me to listen to the next few hours.  As I listened and heard the messages brought forth,  My love as the Bride of Christ began to unfold.  I began to fall in love with Jesus all over again,  I didnt have a church home, I was just waiting and listening and feeling his love wash over me.  My heart still grieves for what could have been,  I still remember and will never forget the good memories I have shared with some really great people.

In all this story of my life paragraphs I said it to say this.


I got off work and stepped outside to discover the ground, parking lot, and cars had be covered in snow in a matter of an hour or less.  I was amazed because this was an unforeseen snow,  no one was prepared and it showed on the way home.  As I began to drive I could feel every bone in my body tighten up as I peeled my eyes to the road or what I thought was the road.  As I began to drive I noticed that the city had obviously been unprepared and the roads were unsalted and uncleared.  Sliding and slipping as I drove I finally made it to the watterson express way.  Well let me say that usually 5 min drive on that express way, lasted way longer than it was suppose to.  People had no direction,  no since of surroundings, the lanes in the road were non visible, cars were guessing where they think they should be,  It was a complete mess.  Then it started snowing so hard that visibility was minimal and for a sec I thought I may never get home, lll freeze if I have to spend the night in my van,  Little did I know that as I kept going despite what was blowing and churning around me.  that I kept going,  I never once looked back, I never once said, Im done, ok this is too impossible,  I kept going,  I gazed on his eyes and nothing else around me mattered any longer. 

God said this is who you are and this is what I desire for my people. To be warriors, not giving up or in,  even if you slip and slide keep holding tight to me even if its by a thread on the hem of my garment.  My children I desire a dept of love so gazed on me that it dosent matter where you step or the path you walking,  all that matters is that you are looking at me, through me, and wanting more of me.

Wow I am amazed every day at the insight he gives on every day situations,  how he has a plan and purpose for everything.  I am his bride and he is my beloved.  I long to gaze upon the fired in his eyes,  His name is Jesus!!

Fanitical Love!

So recently I have been hearing Christians say, we need to get back to the way church is suppose to be, or the way it use to be.  So this has been something I have been praying on, thinking about and asking God for the direction I should take.

Photographed by Me Anna Marie Garcia Photography

With this said if your reading my blog you either know me, stumbled up on my blog while searching for something else, or you just want to see if I have any juicy subjects to spill.  Well what ever the case my be I want to share this and I hope you see what I am saying and what has been on my heart.

God is Good all the time and all the time Good.  This is a saying I have heard over a million times in church and it becomes a clishe or another rituaita that gets passed on for generations.  If we were quicker to guard our mouths and reverence our words as though we were only rationed a few to speak a day, I think that we would put more thought into what Came of out our mouths and what we allowed in.

Soo with that thinking about the way church is suppose to be or needs to get back to or whatever term that has been used lately.

I look back to when John the baptist started baptizing people in the Jordan river.  I kinda think that was an out of the box idea.  He wasnt really affiliated with anyone other than Jesus.  He wasnt baptizing for an agenda or propaganda he was simply doing something that well others didnt think about.  For example the traditional way was be baptized in certain setting, or water dipped from a bowl(which there is nothing wrong that) or wearing a certain clothing.  John was simply spreading the Good news of Jesus and preparing the hearts and giving hope to those who were in their regular clothes, regular lives, and just regular people.  JOhn the baptist himself wasnt a well grommed man, he at locost and lived in the wild.  now today if there was a man down at the river baptising people who looked like John did, I think we would think he was a little fanitical.  Funny thing is soo did the people of Johns day, so did the traditional Church think that he was off his rocker just a tad.  They meaning the "churched" folk were so caught up in traditional things that they simply overlooked the very thing that they needed and that was change.

If you look at each disciple and the apostles you think that each one was a member of something that not many people were able to join.  I am sure they were looked on as a cult, or as some kind of fantastical running around causing trouble and creating disorder in the land.  Think of their boldness to walk up to blind and lame men only to heal them instantly,  Dont you think that would have been a little crazy, to witness and especially when in those days, things like that didnt happen until this Jesus guy showed.  I dont have a PHd or MD or even a degree in christian thinking or thought or anything. But I do see that church today still has the same meaning, same hang ups, same discord, same issues as the church back in the day did.  They want to run the show, they want to be in charge, you have to be this way to be here, if you disagree you are a fanitical and crazy,  you cause disruption, or This is how the church does this so this is how its going to be done.  Mind you I do understand rules and such, but when it becomes more about the laws and regulations and traditions than it does about the loving, merciful grace of God who sent Jesus his Son, Him in the flesh to walk the earth with us to be with us,  He desired us soo much that he took on our form and took beatings and mocking yet he still loved and forgave us.  WOW,  So what do we think about church getting back to its roots now.  its about getting back to being different, outside the box, non traditional all the time, and getting our hands dirty to reach out to those who need Jesus.  Not to be ashamed of the one who created us and wants our love and the bride that we are.  He wants us, he desires his people not a cliche of churchness and churched folk.  But hearts of people who long after his an desire him and follow where he leads no matter where he will lead.  Sometimes that means doing something differently than what ya been doing.  I wanna be a fanitic for you lord help me to be outside the box, standing for those who desperately need your touch. God Breathe your renewed life on me and create a fanatical love only you can give.

Looking into the heart, and this is what I see

For the record type of Blog. 

I know that I am not perfect and I am a person in need of a savior every day of my life. 

I have began to study, the different crazy, mind, blowing things that have taken place in the Bible.  I was watching one of my favorite cartoons the other night about Moses.  Yes Prince of Eqypt.  My son begged to watch it in the van and all I could here was the audio.  As I listened to the part where moses finds the burning bush when he went looking for the lost lamb and I hear moses question God and God comes back with his strength in instill faith and a reverance fear of him.  He Reminded moses of what all he had done. Creation of the world.  The part I hear is who made mans mouth did not I.  Wow that Gets to me.  As I will question why it is I do what I do.  People may think, I am supporting a man, over looking sins because I want to be in his fan club, or what ever.  But they are failing to see the point I am making and the point really is not for them to understand anyways.  Bear with me as I explain.  Through my studing through out the Bible recently I have seen where time and time again that God proved to do some really awesome and crazing things to help people understand what it was he was trying to convey. The real meaning of everything he is trying to get us to understand is his love for us.  Every thing he has done and all the miracles are his way of showing how much he willing to do for his Bride, and his ultimate price was Giving Jesus to the world so that we would see a fleshly relevance to a spiritual world.  How can wen understand the spiritual when we are not spiritually pure beings.  we had to see it in the flesh and see what the love of the bridegroom feels like for his bride and the willingness to sacrifice his own life and love for us.  I remember hearing a story of some hikers that were hiking in a snowy mountainous area and they got stuck on the side of a mountain and there was a man and a women newly weds I think.  Inorder for the mans bride to be saved he had her lay on his body so she would not freeze to death which in turn took his life.  Wow!!!!  Such love, and yet there is one who have done this for all of us and yet we still dont see the point. 

So as you look through time and time again at the children of Israel and their lives and all they have went through, and you see there were times that they didnt some pretty, blasphemous things, and also made idols time and time again and blatantly turned from God and YET He still extended grace and mercy and a everlasting love for his chosen. 

That brings me to why I do what I do.  If you critize or disagree with me then thats ok but what I do isnt for you.  Its for those looking in from the outside scheme of things.  Its for those I see at work who need to see that no matter what they feel like they have done, they can see that the Jesus I know will expend grace and mercy to them.   I hope that those reading will see my point will see my understanding and see that I want those who need to know that I am not a Critical Christian, I am not going to beat a bible in their brains( which only makes for more hearden hearts).  I want to see souls saved, changed and free from bondage, not put in the bondage of Religious Christianity and beats others down.  You can say what you will or believe what you may, but as for me and my house where Gods go we go, and what God says do we do.  Even if it means others dont understand or dont have a clue. 

Today God called me by my name and said Anna, this is where I want you, for such a time as this, for a time to be a gap filler so that sinners will see a person and family that is willing to be uncomfortable and unresitricted and not bound by others so that I might be available to the others who will need a Christian that dosent look at the mess but looks at the heart and soul. 

So I have been working a week now, Im still in training and will be for a month or so,  So I wont be able to really say yes I like this or not, but for now one point has driven home to me lately and this is what it is.

This is what you make of it.  What you put in is what you get out. 

This concept rings true to any area of our lives.  Its kind of funny how if we pay attention enough we can find the most important things out of life its self. 

Time:  There is never enough time in day.  We spend most of it working, watching tv or surfing the net or on facebook.  Its just funny how life works.  I worried that going to work I would be sooo afraid that I might loose my kids affection and I wouldnt be as motherly to them because I wasnt at home.  In one week I find out that Ryder loves being with grandma and dom loves going to the Ymca.  He actually begged to go back.  The things we often fear the most are the things that we actually find can be rewarding and Very not what we expected.  So Time is what you make of it.  If you make it quality you get quality if you spend it meaning less what you get is well meaningless. 

One morning while driving into work I felt the protection of God and closness that I have never felt before it was actually amazing to feel him as if he was sitting in the care right next to me.  Simply amazing it what it was.   In that time I feel that God sees me for me and he knows me and yet he still loves me.  I havent given up on what I know God is trying to say to me.  I havent given up on what I felt he was telling me to do and what he was saying.   I am sooo at the point that I dont care what you think of me or any one else.  I could care less.  Why because God knows me and my intentions and my love for him is like none other.  I am his bride and I am loving it. 

Opportunities:  Well they are what we make of them.  We have oppurtunities that are right infront of us everyday of our lives,  We see them but yet we dont see the fact that we are blind by our own selves to run with the doors that are opened to us.  We can see them because we are focused on earthly things we are not focused on the bridegroom and his ways for our lives. We miss it and dont make nothing of it and still CRY why me.  This is good.

Whether its your Job, your life, your family, your friends, your church, your city, your wallet,

Carpe diem sieze the day.  Make the most of it,  Make it your own, do your best and Put in with out wanting anything in return, do it as if Jesus was sitting right next to you.  We are carriers of the GLORY when we are his Bride and if we dont take advantage and take hold of it then are boldness fades, we miss it and we dont ever expect something more for ours lives. 

Willing ........

Ok ok ok,  so here is a very important topic that has been swirling and swirling inside of me.

In light of recent events a passion has been growing inside of me like never before.  I have often wondered what a church would look like with truly no walls, no limits, no boundaries.   Now some of us need limits and boundaries but I am not talking about physical or emotional or laws or standards.  I am speaking of the spiritual.  No spiritual limits or boundaries.  What would that look like.  Now some of us will be quick to quote all the scriptures that in the view point of your situation may agree with you.  But in order to look at what God is really saying we should really look at what the world was like at that time, what situation was the context written in and we actually will get what more of God's heart is saying.  We can quote scriptures by them selves and thats good and all but sometimes we have to see what it was written and what it was written for.

So with that said.

I have often thought about spiritual limits and boundaries we put on our churches.  We decide who gets to do this and that. We decide what happens pretty much.  If we like you your in and if we dont then not so much.  We argue about petty things, and when I mean THINGS I am talking about material possessions. Our focus gets way off God, which is where the devil wants us so he can surprise attack.  while we argue about carpets, tiles, pews, seats, lighting, cameras, sound, childrens depts, teens,  this and that, this and that,  what has our focus become???   Just a question or thought.

Instead of classifying people into these are the bads ones or troubled ones, gay, lesbians, theifs, etc etc I could go on a on and on.  We put people in a box, we think we are praying for them to be set free all the while we are chaining them up.  If you go into help someone in need whether its homeless or whatever and you drive an expensive car or you walk up in 100 shoes or make up and jewelry what does that say about u.  I mean we want to scream dont judge me but we have haughty attitudes, we have the crusaders mentalities.  We act like that in a poor neighborhood God doesn't exist and we are bringing the light to them.  When more times then not they have better attitudes and spiritual walks with God than we could ever dream of having.   If you read the context of the proverbs and psalms the poor is mentioned many times and the majority it talks about God is with them and they are blessed.

Then this brings me to where our society talking mainly about Americans and we tend to serve Mammon rather than God,  I am talking about money here.  We dont realize that God has been replaced with our wants to prosper.  yes God blesses us, but those blessings come in many different ways,  for example Good friends, blessed womb of a barren woman,  Children, grandparents, families.  Etc etc.  Knowing God's heart Money becomes sooo much more less and less. yes it would be nice to have believe me, but then where would our faith be?  Where would our trust be?  Materialistic is what we have become.  We didnt realize that what we are actually serving is money.  Ouch yes I know I might be stepping on your toes.  If we feel God is leading us somewhere, then we dont have to beg and plead for the funds or the things we need.  God will supply.   Sometimes that supply might be in a job, or donation, or a money tree(prob not the tree) but whatever God chooses is a form of provision and blessings.

I want a place sooo bad it isnt funny but I also want to see those who are soo unloved, troubled, sick, hurting, dying spiritually to come to Jesus.   I want a place that a man can walk in wearing a dress, carrying a purse, and wearing make up walk in to with out a glace of the righteous sending darting glares of unworthiness. Where they make the change because they were accepted in their present state but it was God who spoke to them and it was God breathed his life into their sleeping soul.  This is a true story of a very dear friend of mine.  If it wasnt for a place like that, I would not know this friend of the family.  Countless stories of others who could walk into a place and just weep and not be questioned but it is really God who speaks to them and touches their hearts.

We have to start equaling out the playing field and let others see that they are just the same level and special to God as anyone else.  You status on Earth has  nothing to do with your status in heaven. That Goes for Preachers, teachers, evangelist, as well.  We put people in high places only that when they fall we stomp on them like their mud sending back to where God made them from.  Reality is the reason we are so hurt and disappointing in others is because we place a value on them that is really much more than we should.  yes accountability should be great and leaders should lead with respect and integrity but when they have no accountability I mean those willing to tell someone as nathan did to david. 

You may agree or not agree with me. you may feel like I am totally crazy. But remember it is God who gives us the choice to choose.  The real question is will we distract someone, or others but the way we look at them, the way we talk to them, the things we do in general, we will portray humility or will our arrogance shine.  Will we say look at what a Great Job we did to help the homeless when in reality many of us our one bad mistake or payment away from being with no home. That is just one example, it could be helping a old woman across the street, come to find out she didnt need our help and we where actually holding her back. Or we we see a drunk on the street and we cast a shame shadow instead of praying for them and realizing that there is way more to why they are like they are.  We are all in need of a savior every day.  humbleness, faithfulness, desire to want to know God more in our hearts, yearning to hear him and sit at his feet, yielded vessels, not consumed by things, but willing to be outside of the box, willing to accept people for their situations all the while realizing the situations we are in ourselves,   willing to do... whatever it is that is asked , regardless of the nay Sayers and slanders,  Willing....

Eyes of the father, my bridegroom

How do you see with your eyes?  What kind of Filter do you see through?  What is your purpose?  Do you believe it?  Are you confident in it? 

So the last few days have been a time of totally getting into the presence of God.  Started with Eddie James and his team.  Of course I got blessed and all the while I heard spoke over me, more of his anointing, fire lord, more more more.  This was at Eddie James prayer line.  Then the next night which was friday when the lady who was praying the conference prayed over me it was almost around 10:20pm.  But her message was the same, more anointing, more fire, more more more more. 

So why this is soooo significant is that I have been in the desert place for quite sometime now, wondering and hoping and praying why cant I feel what God had for me, I don't I feel the fire, I wanted it and I sooo desired it.  The connect and change prob started a few weekends ago at another women conference where I felt some literally hindrances break off me.  Then to walk into the last 2 days open and ready to Take on the bride of Christ that I was ment to be. I was positioned divinely, not only have I been filled to a greater capacity I feel that I now have a new heart and its his heart. 

There were two examples of what I believe Gods heart is and why I feel like I have it.  First time was at eddie james.  I saw a young man and I was burden with his soul and the bondage that I could see on his life.  Intercession began and Gods heart was desperate for this young mans heart to be his.  He was like a stone, no facial expressions, His face was a solid rock in the midst of crying, jumping, worshiping, and freedom, He was sooo greatly bound.  I saw him standing there and it really scared me to see a young man that so purposly choose not to want to change and it looked as if would rather be bound.  My prayer and intercession has reached new levels which in praying for him...   This story I hope to find out will be a great one once his heart belongs to the lord.  Its a war people, if we thinks its not we are grealty mistaken. We need to war after souls. 

Number 2 encounter actually happened with a lady we will call Judy.  Judy was a woman I met all because a friend decided she wanted to go to a christian bookstore that was never where we had lunch.  I was reluctant at first but then decided ok why not walk over there.  At that time I never knew that this walk was for Judy.  So we looked around the christian book store for a bit and then when it came time to leave there was Judy. A lady who looked weathered, tired, and a little discombobulated.  She walked out before we left.  A few minutes went buy as we were walking out of the store and on to side walk.  Judy was showing a shirt she purchased from a christian bookstore to a gentlemen I assume she knew and who I felt was being not so nice to her, that a nice way of saying it.  When I saw the hurt in her eyes and something in me jumped, what I walked into felt I needed to do something.  We continued to walk until we came around the corner so I could look back at Judy as now she was sitting in a passenger side seat and the man what now at her door talking to her but facing with his but in her face.  First of all when I see a man abuse a women it makes me really flare up, whethers its mental, physical, or spiritual abuse I get heated.  So My friend and I talked about it and we felt the same way so she said lets go pray for her.  As we approached her window and asked to pray with her you could see the hurt and sadness in her eyes.  We prayed for her and the first thing she said was you don't know how much that ment to me. you will never know.  She said I was a spirit filled christian who use to be in church but backslid,  she said I know that he is there for me. I know that I left him and he didn't leave me.  Wow, she was struggling and a mess and she knew the root of it.  It seems that sometimes we just need to her from our own lips what we have know down inside for a long time. This was the walk for Judy.  Maybe the one glace I gave her or my friend gave her was a divine appoint to see a hurting people.  Taking ministry to the streets and just being an open vessel at any moment and be willing and open to see with the heart of God. 

Obedience and doing what we Gods heart says is one of the most wonderful feelings.  Today I gave a word in the womens meeting.  To be honest I feel like it was hard word.  maybe not a popular one of everything is going to be ok, life is peachy, or even an encouraging one.  It was a call of obedience a call of wanting an wooing the heart of his people.  It was the king calling for his Bride.  I am not sure who heard it, or who listened to it because I was soo heavy, God was in the room and he wanted willing vessels to be used and to dance and glory in his presence.  In some ways I question that I must have gave the wrong one because it was a heavy one.  No claping and joyous outburst, but it was a plea for us to dance deeper with him.  To take the steps of seeing and taking our purpose as the bride of christ.  Yes an awakening but our main purpose was we were created to be a pleasing and blessing to the Lord.  We were created because he wanted a person and being that would desire him even they r given the choice for something else.  He wants us to glory and bask int he presence of the creator the author of life.  oh how he loves me. 

I dont know if those who heard it understood what he wanted,  He wanted more more more more and a deepness and I could have stayed there for a long time just sitting in his presence.  Once we get closer to the heart of the bridegroom, the father and see as he sees.  its a beautiful love dance for our souls.  He is dancing in hope that we will answer back. 

Under HIS Wing!!!

This last weekend has been a life changing time for me.  Many may not understand but something clicked in me.  I think that I was at the point in my life that I was angry inside and I felt so distant from God.  We all have ups and down in Christianity but its how we handle it that matters in the difference in our attitudes and our walk.

Our walk with Christ should be one continual victory,  not victim mentality, who is me, look at me I have been through soo much.  Yes we should speak on our testimony and share that but the glory should not be in the testimony circumstances but in the one who brought you out of it.  So yes there is a difference about freedom and living as the Bride of Christ, which is true freedom.

So a lot has happened in the past several weeks with me.  Yes there was some church hurt left overs but personally my family has be stretched to its limits with owning 2 houses and some others things along with that.  One thing that I have learned is that life isn't about how sad I am but its about walking as the Bride of Christ.

Yes I keep saying the Bride of Christ and many people don't want to equate intimate thoughts with Jesus.  But this is what I mean.  Once we accept that Jesus offered his life freely to us at his first communion he extended the cup as a representation of him, some may not realize that this in Jewish customs was done when a groom offers the cup to his potential bride.  The groom negotiates a high price for her and then he extends the cup to her and if she drinks of it then its her way of accepting his love and that she is free to know that she is secure in his love.

Do we as a christian believing people really believe and accept the freedom that his love gave us.  He did it freely, so there wasn't really a price to be paid,  it was act of love, which means there is no obligation for us to have to serve him because he gave his life.  We should serve him because we desire to love him and we desire him and because we want to.  We we totally accept and become vulnerable that under the shadow of his wing is where we are safe in his love,  There is a protection, security that that brings.

I know that I am loved by him, I am his Bride and I am truly free to live to walk in victory knowing that whatever comes my way God will defend because under his wings I am safe and secure and he is my refuge.

Churches have caught the wave of all the free and freedom songs that can be sung in church are.  But do we really understand what free means??

Here are some definitions that I find interesting considering they didn't come from a spiritual place or book but from a regular dictionary off the internet.

unconfined: free expansion Not fixed in position; capable of relatively unrestricted motion,Not bound, fastened, or attached .Given, made, or done of one's own accord; voluntary or spontaneous,Unconstrained; Costing nothing; gratuitous,Unobstructed,Unguarded in expression or manner; open; frankTaking undue liberties; forward or overfamiliar. Not imprisoned or enslaved; being at liberty,Not controlled by obligation or the will of another,Not subject to a given condition exempt unconstrained,free or remove obstruction from,not held in servitude,absolve: let off the hook,release....grant freedom 2; free from confinement,dislodge: remove,able to act at will; not hampered; not under compulsion or restrain

I want you to ponder those definitions for a minute and see if those change your perspective of free and what it means.

Jesus free gave his life for us to be unconfined, unrestricted, not bound, unobstructed, not imprisoned or enslaved, not controlled by obligation not held in servitude, absolve, released, granted freedom.  Wow this really enlightens me to see that there is soo much security in knowing that when I truly accept that he is my groom that he will take care of me, he will protect me, I don't have to worry, I don't even have to repay, that he is not expecting that I do the same, but he desires that I love him and give back to him because I want to do it because of his love not to get anything in return or out of obligation but out of love.

A whole new concept.  This even equates into our relationships.  I don't want friends who feel obligated to, or just because, or feel guilty I want friends to be around because they want to.  

To walk in freedom of accepting the love that he has for us and what it really means is a whole new thing, its something many don't understand.  Yes we accept Jesus in our hearts and we love him and he has changed us but we don't see what he is really saying when it comes to the love he has for us,

Oh how he loves us, oh how he loves us.!!!!!!

Under his wings I will be, under his wing I will scaled the mountains, under his wing i will slay the enemy, under his wing will I abide, I am secure I am loved under his wing is where I want to be,

In his arms..

It funny(ironically) how life can hit you all at once, everything that can go wrong does and then some. 
In the process called life and what it brings I am always learning new things.  Friendships and what the value of that is and what it really means.  What is my passion in life and how much I miss it.  Stress, how much I just desire peace and long for a time of peace.  everything happens for a reason or because of decisions.  One thing I have watched and learned is that we must all be daily reading the word and praying with Jesus.  When you dont constantly stay in tune with Jesus you start to wonder off in all directions or you dont make the right direction choices. 

I have been pondering lots of things lately and about life can really distract us for what we are designed to do.  We are designed to be companions to the one who created us.  He was kind enough of to create us with our own will and ambtions in hopes of taking a chance on us that we would ultimately choose him rather than everything around us. 

The Author Of Life created us knowing there was a chance we would do our own things and listen to the snake in the tree.  He took that chance and we humans failed him, did he give up on us.  No he let us figure things out on own that we would desire him back.  As a punishment to adam and Eve he sent them out of the garden as a way of saying you didnt trust me that I would take care of you so now you will learn what trust means and what believing in me means.  Wow that is an awesome thought.

Also when Jesus was going through the greatest struggle of all times with his flesh verses what he knew he must do.  Judas was always around standing in the side lines awaiting for his role to be fulfilled.  Jesus knew Judas was going to betray him he knew that!!! But yet he still loved Judas and still kept him around.  Maybe it was to fulfill destiny but I also like to think that Jesus would have forgave him.  Jesus was still going to the cross regardless of Judas.  Why didnt Judas come back to Jesus in repentance?  I often wonder if it was the wispering amoung his fellow brothers the disciples that could have caused him to be soooo ashamed that Judas already being a weak mind couldnt recover and ultimately choose death.  Wow what a sad sad thought.  We never know the lives that we can change for the good or bad when we make decisions or when we choose to wisper or when we choose to live a life outside of relationship with Jesus.  If we truly are living in truth of Jesus and we are truly fulfilling God's will the struggle wont be as hard as we make it out to be.  We can find peace where there seems to be none.  If we are willing to just sit in the arms of Jesus and rest a while and open every deep dark place in our hearts and truly give it to God never to pick it up again.  How free could we be.  How forgiving could we be.  What mountains could that move. 

People are always going to be people.  Lets face it that is what life is about.  But Jesus stood in that gap for all of us to be able to really open our hearts and truly serve him in everything we do.  If it dosent glorfy him then maybe we should rethink what is about to be said or done. 

Decisions are never easy but making them while having a relationship with Jesus makes it a lot more peaceful and right.  Decisions may not be popular with friends or family but also long as they are with God then nothing else matters.

Sterotypers Sterotype

Today I went to take a test for a company.  Well one of the questions was something like this do you believe when some one has been put into a sterotype that it is true?  True of False answers.

I answered No.  But when I came home and sitting in the quiet of the evening this quesiton became so real to me.  We as Christians and humans classify people, we sterotype people every day and dont even realize that we are cutting people off or not givening them as change to be some other than the sterotype we put on them.  Ouch I need a band aid for that one.

How many times have we said something or believed something about someone and then in fact was the opposite.  We also look at past mistakes and classify people that way too.  All the while hiding our own sins and mistakes. 

A Stero type are belifes that a person is a certain way based on assumptions. 

Why do we not go and find the truth about someone for our selves, why dont we take the time to see what someone is really like, what they are going through, and to look deep in their soul and see valuable beautiful beings that God has created in his image.  We all have been created like him so in turn we reflect a part of him.  So when we stero type someone and classify them by their sins, or by the way they look, or by whatever it is saying that God dosent know what he is doing, and that we dont trust him.

Too often we try to take matters in our own hands and punish or give up on someone because we feel the need to sever relationships.  But did Jesus ever sever his relationship with us just because things Got bad, ulgy, nasty and dirty?  Just a thought.

He may back off and let us kick and scream to have it our way but then bam he is right there to pick us up.  Im sooo tired of Judgment throughing people.  The fact is we are sterotyping and handing out judgments and turning people off to Jesus. 

My prayer is that I really dont want to be a sterotyper.  I dont want to cut someone off because I feel uncomfortable or non confrontational.

Lord help me to serve others like I am serving you.  help me to see in to there heart and be able to help them by your grace, mercy and everlasting love.  Your love oh Lord is higher than the mountains and your love is deeper than the seas.

Drift wood

Bear with me as I tend to think of things in detail and depth. I like to shed new light on things.

Drift wood is wood that is from a natural disaster or a breaking up of or something such as a flood hurricane, etc. 

When something happens in a persons life.  No matter what it is can have devastaing effects on those that person.  One issue with someone might not be as big of a deal as some other occuance in another persons life, if that make sense.  So no matter the cause of the breaking or shattering it hurts nonetheless.

Sometimes people are strayed about as if they are drift wood in the river of God.  These are people that are just drifting because their lives have been shattered by one reason or another.  They have suffered great mishaps or things very important to them have crumbled.  So their lives have been broken apart into pieces in the river and they are just floating not knowing where they will end up, but at this point they are not fighting the current but they are now flowing with it to see where it takes them.  I know this can be seen as something dark and like depression but if you look at it with different view point you can see that sometimes all we can do is just flow in him or his presence and be willing to stop fighting where he is taking us. 


There is a reason for everything I like to say, no matter what happens in life all things work together for those who love God.  He will redirect us and repostion us to places we could never imagine.

As a piece of drift wood lands on the shore of a new place and new sand it begins to realize that this new place isnt so bad and that the coca nut tress are really pretty.  Then it begins to dry in the sun and suddenly it is wisked away.  The drift wood not realizing that in due time has been created into a beautiful piece of Art by a greatly skilled carpenter.  The carpenter has given the drift wood a new life and now has more meaning and a brighter future that ever before.

Re purposed and repositioned drift wood is what I long for.  Re purposed handcrafted by the greatest author of Life.

Redirection and Repositioning

I feel lead to share this and I hope that it is seen as my heart for others.  I am not gonna dare say in the process of life I have been perfect or ever will be perfect.

In hard times it is sooo easy to remember the bad things and focus on the hard times that are going on around us that we forget the many lives that have been touched.  I always say that God is going to be God no matter if we get in the way of it or not.  Sooo many people have been touched by Jesus at New Vision Ministry Center.  Yes even in the last few months at our new building which is now the old building.  People walked in the building for example when church wasnt happening and you could tell they were brought there with tears in their eyes because Jesus was there.

Over the last several years God has drawn many people to him despise us and what we make of things.  I am not talking about the failures of Just one.  I am talking about the failure of the church as a whole.  I have many opinions on the matter and have seen a lot of behind the scenes things.  I just want to Give God the praise for all he has done despite our human nature.  Be assured that God makes us all accountable for the things we do, know, say, speak, and act.  Despite the obvious there are many things that God has seen and has been disappointed with in ALL of us.  But as I look at all the different type of people, and different types of lives, and what God has done it amazes me. 

I have personally worked with several people who would have never came inside a Regular church to be honest if I had know it was a Church of God church I prob would have never stepped in the front door and I have been saved all my life since I was six when I was filled with the Holy Spirit.  I have seen alot in my 21 years as a christian.   People are looking for a church that can feel that they are able to walk into and fit right in.  They are looking for a place that dosent scream change or go to hell. I think we as a church as a whole all over the world are afraid to truly open our doors and let anyone in.  In a recent service I heard well if someone disagrees with you or causes trouble what u do is compliment them and walk them to the door and then say Go find another church.  WOW that blew my mind as I sat and thought about Jesus eating with those tax collectors, street people, and those deemed as "find another church type of people."  If we are going to be a church that represents Jesus then lets truly represent him and let him change the hearts and minds of people, not rush them out door cause we are afraid of confrontation.  Lets remember if Jesus is on our side he gives us the words and things to speak to be able to penetrate even the most unpentratable people.

We also started the online services being broadcast which allowed those sick and those who might not want to come to church visit.  There were those who even paid tithe through the online church.  Who knows how many lives were touched by the internet broadcast.  There was even a man that is deemed unreachable watching some of our services.   There were many good things and many good people.  I want us to remember that, because lives were changed because of Jesus. 

I am tired of Church as the Norm.  I am tired of Church politics and how people act.  One minute they love you and the next well not so much.   Yes my family was hurt in the process and that is what the devil delights in.  Not in the sin as much as how humans act when the pressure is on and stress comes.  It really tests are true character.

I have been in churches all my life and have seen so many pastors come and go, and have seen alot of things.  It amazes me that seemingly the same process continues and we wonder why are churches are falling apart. We have to be careful listen to our heart (which is the holy spirit if it lives in side of us) tell us to do. 

My family has been redirected and repositioned to a new direction for a time.  Many may question, many will think what they will but I will follow God no matter what any says, thinks, opinionates about me.  He is my ultimate Judge:)

We have to start looking at the Good in things rather than all the bad that is going on and happening.  As New Vision has came to a close I am proud that I was a part of the many lives that were touched and changed forever through that ministry.  I am sad that it is no more.  I have to part from the new congregation that has formed because one thing and that is I feel that I am released from there.  Not just because of the hurts but because I want to truly be effective on what God has called me and my family to do.  My prayers are that the new church moves forward for what God has called them to do and that they listen to his every direction.

I am looking forward the brighter things ahead and what God is going to do through us.  Sometimes you realize that if something takes away from the time you spend with God and your family then it needs to get revaluated.  If we dont reevaluate then he will do it for us.   That is how much he loves us.  He initiates the steps we need to take for reevaluation and repositioning.

I am repositioned and reevaluated and ready for greater things to come.  I am ready for his presence to consume and over take me.  Im ready to share what Jesus has done for me not just because it what a good christian is suppose to do, but because my relationship with Jesus is soooo strong that I want others to know the love that he has for ALL.  ALL Every person is valuable, no matter their flawes, there is always hope for someone and If no one else thinks so then I want to find it.  Cant wait Cant wait Im ready and Im stepping out of the doors of building to do something more for Jesus:)

Beacon in the Dark!

Have you ever took a step in the dark hoping you wouldn't step on a lego or toy?  I do this quite often:)(2 boys who love legos)  A sigh of relief fills the air as my foot plants softly on the floor with no harm to my foot, but that soon fades as my foot rises once again to take that next step.

Only if we could totally trust the dark we wouldn't have this problem or if we could trust our kids to put away their toys.  This got me to thinking about how we should trust God.  No matter where you are in life you may not see right away where your feet will land but know that God will guide you to the right places.  Its when we try to guide our own steps when we stumble on the toys or things left lying around.

As a Child of God I want to make sure that my walk is humble and that I can be a reliable and relate able person to others who are in need of help, praying, friend to talk to, etc  My trust in God has to shine through so others will see that they too can totally trust him to take care of their needs.  If my faith is wavering and I am literally a mess its really hard for others to see that faith works.  Not saying life has to be or is perfect but saying we should always watch our actions and how we deal with things because you never know who is watching.

For example say someone has done you wrong and you openly are glad they are having trouble.  Or you even secretly delight in their pain or suffering cause they deserved it.  Well God see's your reaction and your heart in that dealing.  He sees what choices you have before you and that is to spread life or death on your own soul.  By taking joy in another suffering actually brings you one step closer or away from the life that you need to be close to the father.

Every decision whether its taking part in a bad joke at work, be negative, or woe is me, or everyone hates me, or by being depressed all the time and not partaking in the JOY of the Lord even when don't feel like it.  Not matter what we must always take a step back and see that we are never far way from letting our selves partake in sin. So we must always watch and trust God to lead us and guard our hearts by the making choices that keeps us closer to him and not farther away from him.

I want to be a light in the dark place, I want to walk in the dark so that my light for Jesus will shine brighter than before.  If a candle is always in a lite room how effective is it until it hits the dark then its seen from all around.  Thats where I want to be!!  Let the Lord guide me through the dark so those who live in the dark will see the light and be able to know you because I was a beacon in the dark.

I am a branch in the tree of life, Question is am I a dying one or a living one?

Where u lead I will Follow!


This morning I woke and decided to venture out by my self.  I usually hate being alone but today I was all by myself. So I decided to go to Bernheim Forest.  I needed to clear my head and to sit in the peace of nature and just relax my mind and soul.  I also wanted some time to be able to take some picts a secret passion I have, that has been dormant because of the busyness of life.  Here are some of the picts I took today that give u an idea of why I took them and what I see spiritually.

The pict to the right is one I like to call where you lead I will follow.  As the path gets out of view and the tree blocks the future I feel God is saying just take one step at a time and I will lead you.  Sometimes we tend to forget that we cant control anyone or thing but our selves and actions.  So today for me God was saying I will lead so start following.

As I walked around this morning I focused on the nature of God's creation.  The beauty and Majesty of the world in which we live.  The world that he plays so much a part in creating.  We tend to forget the creativity, majesty, and how much he cared about the details that we over them.  If he cared about helping a flower by creating pollen so that flowers would still grow despite our circumstances. WOW.  How beautiful the creator is!!  Yes, my favorite flower is the Dazy.  Dazys scream flower children from the 60's and 70's.  But I see the simplexity of it.  Its white pedals which to me represents the purity of life that God brings and the yellow center symbolizes how alive God is and the vitality that he brings to the earth.  He wants us to live with a center that is full of life.
Then I pan out and see the whole picture of dazies together and I cant help but to feel that God created groups of flowers flowing from one plant for a reason.  To show strength in numbers, to show how important each flower it to the bush.  Some flowers had broken pedals, others were clean and spotless, some were smaller, some were larger,  They were all different but grew from one plant base.  Wow to the concept of this Type of thinking.  When we pan out and see the bigger picture.  We see we are not alone.  We are among many others and God created us to work together to flow as one in unity with one purpose.  To glorify his name and to show others his wonderful works.

This picture screams peace to me.  Kentucky peace.  This is a place I just want to take my shoes of and enjoy the soft grass and enjoy the sound of the tree swaying back and forth.  Awesome and good for the troubled soul.  When u find your in a place of unrest and confusion get to a place of silence and he will speak.

This picture is of the statue in the far back which is names "Let there be light"  its looks a little weird but it was designed to be a place that Christians can go to have a place of silence and to here God.  Wow didnt know that till I was there and read about it and the purpose of bernheim.  When I sat at the top and just listened this is what I feel like God wanted to say.  "It was me who made the world, it was me who created the very ground you walk on, it was me who formed the clouds, it was me who made the sea, it was me who formed the mountains.  I am the one who spoke you into existence.  It was me who made all living things to work together to become part of something much bigger, much greater than anyone can ever imagine.  IT WAS ME!!!!!!!.  I am after you I made I know you.  I guide you and I direct you and I can see what you cant see.  I know what you dont know.  Im am the one who formed you in your mothers womb.  It was ME!!!!"


Then I looked out and this is a picture that i took and I feel it was one way to assure me that he sees the bigger picture and its amazing.

God is amazing and everything that he has created is a wondrous site.  I can see my self dancing before him in the grass with flags, banners, instruments, and I could go on.  Wow what a wonderful savior that would created such a beautiful place just for me and because someone listened to his voice and made this area a holy place, it blessed me this morning.

One more pict.  This one was of a tree of course duhhh.  but the reason I took this picture is to remind myself the he is vine, he is the main part of the tree and we are his branches.  We are to be an Extension of him.  We must be able to show others that we are Christ like because we are connected to the main line.


That means in words we speak, things we listen to, and the actions we take when the tough gets going.  We are accountable for every word we speak.  We like to use this when we are in tough situations to blast our enemy.  But if we read closer in the word it states for us NOT to delight when our enemy falls because the lord will have mercy on them.  So we must make sure that our hearts are clean from bitterness, anger, unforgivness, and any unclean thing,  the hardest things about our selves that we want to push away and hide. If we harbor those things this will make us die, like a branch that is no longer connected to the tree it falls and shrivels and dies because it has been cut off from the life source.  Those are the very things that when we need to give to God so we can truly walk in the freedom he has called us to walk in.  Not matter our position, calling, or whatever.  God has called us to live a life of Christ like behavior and To be accountable for everything we say, think, act, do or criticize.  We must make our hearts open to him and let go and let God be the victor and not the devil. Open your heart today and ask God what it is that is hindering your walk, what is getting in your way.  You might be surprised and what the answer will be.  Open the eyes of my heart that I might see you, lord.  Say that today right now.  Dont be afraid to show him what is deep inside and he will help you heal, make right, and cleanse the depths of your heart.

Point of View~ Who's are you looking through?

I have pondered, prayed, and listen to what to write in my next blog. For the last several weeks, months, and years I have been in a waiting period which I am still in. I feel like I have been silenced by God for the Restoration time.

Sometimes we can get caught up in doing good, speaking the truth, trying to help situations but in looking at a bigger scale of things we are indeed making them worse. I feel that God will bring to light the truth and we don't even have to do anything. Sometimes things happened to open the eyes of others. You can look at this in many ways. 1 view is too look from the outside looking in. I have heard from many outside parties stating wow Christians have a hard time forgiving and loving each other when it gets tough. Thats 1 reason I have heard from people not wanting to attend churches is because Christians bring an extra added Drama to the scene and many hurts occur in churches.

The apostles didnt follow each other for the very reason they couldnt get along with each other, thus the reason for so many different denominations. We all act on our own feelings and not what is on the heart of God. The real church lies with in each of us. The real church begins in our hearts. When are hearts are aligned with his then the body is in alignment as a whole. When we take our own self serving agendas out of things then we can truly walk in love and in the steps of the father. But that means we have to give total control to his will and to his way.

I have been a Christian since I was 6 at which time I was also filled with the Holy Spirit, so for 22 yrs I have sought after him. There were times I have sinned and screwed up royalty, there were times my pursuit was stronger and then there were times where I just existed. I have seen a lot from a very young age about churches. I have visited many types of denominations and have felt God in many of those different opinionated churches. One thing I have learned is that God exist despite what we do wrong. Things might not go as well but he still has his way.

Lately I have been really sad because its as if a very good thing has died. I am sad because of something that I held dear to me, something I spent almost everyday helping is gone. I look at what is no more and I stand in the spiritual rubble and look out at what is past all the hurts and pain and I see that God is calling us to a higher state of awareness of him. He dosent share his glory with any one. he wants our souls soo bad that he willing to let our fortress crumble to get our attention on him. He is willing to take everything we hold dear away from us so we can see our hearts and we can cleanse the very depths of our souls for the purpose, For a greater purpose. Something bigger is happening, its bigger than me, its bigger than you, its bigger than everyone, God is rising up for a battle that will belong to him, He is tired of all the little things we let get our focus off on him. He is tired of our ranting and ravings and he is saying LOOK TO ME, DOnt you know my Grace is sufficient for you. DOnt you Know MY LOVE for you is greater than your pain and HURTS. DOnt you know that I LOVE YOU. I DIED FOR YOU. NOTHING CAN TAKE THAT AWAY. MY PEOPLE see that I love you and that I will only have you. Nothing is BETTER THAN ME, NOTHING IS BIGGER THAN ME. Come and sit here at my table and dine with me. I love you and I am your Friend, Father, and anything you need.

WOW so with that said no one will take my joy, peace, and love for others. No one will steal what Only God can give me. Make the Temple(church) you and go and follow the steps he has layed out for you.

Restoration

Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore....

Are you willing to be a Nathan?

In doing some reading today I came across these passages in my bible. I have the John C Maxwell leadership bible so it has a lot of great little things about leaders in the bible and how to learn from the mistakes or the good things they did.

Anyways I love reading about Kind David. He seems to be a very diverse man and yet he is a man after God own heart. You see his constant bid with wanting to do the right thing and not always succeeding.

You read how God anointed him and chose him and he was the youngest and scroniest of the choices, but God chose him. It shows how God lead him to Kind Saul by playing a harp for him when he was troubles by a distressing Spirit of the Lord(1 Sam 16:7) yes it says a spirit of the Lord. but when he played his harp David was already annointed and God was with him so it soothed King Saul and the spirit would depart.

Then you see the relationship with Jonathan the kings son and David, they were the best of friends but in time they were torn apart due to the Envy and bitterness the King Saul had for David. You see that David would never dishonor King Saul because he was once the Lords anointed. In a sense he waited for the Lord to handle Kind Saul and didn't take his life. That is honor and trust in the Lord to be able to let the Lord take the reigns and handle it. Too often we do the opposite and kill what the Lord has put in place then things tend to get more of a mess than we can ever imagine.

You see several times how David did things that were very displeasing to the Lord but he also sought the Lord, Danced for the Lord, Worship the Lord with all his might.

After the killing of Urian Bathshebas husband the Lord came to Nathan One who was in the King David inner circle to speak the Truth to David. David listened and knew that the Lord was displeased. It says in 2 Sam 12:13 The lord put away Davids sins, but brought consequences to his house. We will always have to pay for the choices we make not matter what they are. One sin is really no different than another except that some hurt worse and affect more people than other sins do.

There is a blirb that says what it takes to survive a major failure:

1 An open and transparent heart
(it's easier to tolerate mistakes admitted than mistakes denied.)

2 A spirit of forgiveness toward followers
(A follower you treat with charity is more prone to forgive you when you are caught failing.)

3 A responsible attitude
(A leader who owns up to his or her behavior will last longer and fare better.)

4 The ability to change
(leaders must demonstrate they are humble and teachable and willing to grow or change.)

5 A hunger to grow and stretch
(followers will stay with a leader in process if he or she is moving in the right direction.)

When Nathan confronted David in 2 Samuel 12:1-15 he was speaking the truth in love. Its what David needed to be able to accept what he had done and to be able to move forward and not look back. Every one needs a person Like Nathan who listens to the Lord and will let you know the hardest things that you need right when you need to heard it.

Pray and hope that we become people who are after God's heart and desire him whole heartedly.

Are we willing to stick up for our friends that we are willing to deliver messages that are hard but are in love. Its a hard calling to be a Nathan, More than likely you will be deemed as a trouble maker, or hated for the moment but when it counts Nathans are the ones who stick like Glue when you need them the most. Hope this encourages some one today. I know that I need this on a daily basis to know that when I fall God Is encouraging me to get back up again.

Questions?

So many questions run through my mind. My mind is complex and is always thinking sorting and trying to figure out solutions. I love to make things right or to try and fix things. Being in the place of holding and silence I have come to realize that there are many different types of people in the world. God has made us all for specific purposes.

Some of us our teachers, preachers, evangelist, homemakers, peacemakers, justice advocates, intercessors,musicians, worshipers, and the list goes on and on.

When we are on the right path there will be temptations, struggles, wrong doing, hurtful accusations, and many trials and tribulations. When we choose to follow Christ a big target has been placed on our back by the devil. We are branded as Jesus Freaks. So we are more likely to face more adversity as Christians because we are now a threat to the darkness.

We must get back up again and we must pick back up the pieces because givening up is giving in to the plans of the enemy. I am speaking spiritually because they are life situations that you have to revert back the Keep and defend what you do have inorder not to loose it.

In my opionion honor is a big deal. Fighting for a cause and being brave despite the monsters and walls that are infront of you. Being not afraid to slay your enemy even you feel like its not your job.

We are all called to be warriors in our faith, To stand strong, But on the whole aromor of Christ and ride in honor for the sake of leading others to Christ. People are valuable and I want to be the one that does everything I can to help them. No matter what they look like, what they are, what they smell like, etc. It makes me mad when we as Christians worship the name of the Lord then go and make fun of others. Yes it may be all in fun, but what does the Lord see? Does he like it when you make fun of the very creation that he Created. When u make fun of the creation you make fun of the creator.

We are all called and all have very different duties. Dont give up thinking what your doing is not working, he has called you so its for a purpose. He needs you to stick like glue so that when it counts your faith never waivers.