So here I am adding more to my blog. This is where I am at in my life, I guess. Ever since my grandmother was in the hospital before she passed away last year; almost everyone said there was no hope so I put this in my van to remind me that just because some one says there is no hope dosent mean there isnt any. There is more hope than anyone can imagine. This is a silent reminder to me that even though she is gone and living with Jesus that there still is hope. There is always hope and you have to make it for yourself, she never gave up hope when I saw her in the hospital she said I am still here, even though she was not doing well she still had hope and purpose.
My mind has been spinning and spinning, and I have been going through the Rolodex of my brain (as stated by Pam) wondering and wondering and wondering what to do next, am I taking the right step, or why am I not doing this but that. So many things are constantly spinning around. It seems to never stop. So I prayed and was have been seeking God on what is my purpose and what is my destiny. I constantly doubt and doubt even though I know what I am suppose to do. I do things that I know I am not suppose to do and then I end up getting more frustrated.
My purpose and my destiny in life is to be hidden or things done in secret that only Gods sees and acknowledges. Come on everyone likes to be noticed and I use to really deal with that, not that I wanted attention but that I just needed someone to notice me as a person that they couldn't live without me. Well there is more to that from my past experiences over 10 years ago. As a young girl, I dealt with this all my life, I constantly feel in adequate and not able. I now realize that I needed hope in Jesus to feel that gap of adequate feelings. He will come through and fill your heart and make you adequate and well equipped to do his will and his testimony.
I guess what it is that I am trying to say is to always have HOPE, because it will keep you from going insane:)
