Ok so here are somethings I have really been growing in my spirit lately. I always have understood the concept of the Bride and the Bridegroom references in the bible. It has never really clicked in my heart until about a few months back when I went to a womens conference. It wasn't the conference that made it click it was God wooing me to something much much much more than just a regular church mentality. It was simply amazingly wonderful.
I was simple in love for a few days with the lover of my soul. yes it showed in my attitude and everything else. But then I began to fade a little bit and revert back to my old ways. Then I feel like something fell out of the sky and hit me on the head as to say wake you sleepy head its time to prepare for the wedding day is at hand. My soul awoke and I began what I call wooing, pursuing, and longing to see my King.
You see life is not about, all the problems, events, and troubles we are facing. Its not about going to church to get something or to receive kudos for following a commandment. Its about going past the outer courts and into the Holy of Holies. We take for granted what this means.
I have read through again the God chasers book by Tommy Tenny and I have recently found another one of his books called Finding Favor with the King. I was unsure of reading it for I have heard the Story of Ester soooo many times that I was like I am unsure. Well just so ya know this was the only book by Tommy Tenny which I was looking for his other God chasers, but this was the one for this time. I hate reading but when I started reading I became engaged and yearning to read more and more.
It was also about pursing the kings heart and not his palace and so he will favor you as his bride. Which I just finished Completely His and few months back which was also on the Bride and some traditions of the Jewish custom.
In reading this book T. Tenny I find that this book is about the modern church and how Esters life really pursues the fact that the church today has gotten lost in the glory of the palace rather than the glory of the king himself as a lover of our soul. We pursue the glory of the place in the blessings, the fame, the I need God to do something for me. I am sick I NEED to be healed, I Need to Sell a House or Ill face forclosure, etc etc the list is endless, We get lost in the outer courts that we never really ever enter the holy of holies because we have not done the proper perpareing to meet the king. We come and complain about sister Margaret is not doing this or that, or she sat in my chair, or what in the world was she yelling like that, or why did they choose this song, or I dont like, this isnt right, etc etc.. You know what I am talking about because I have done the same exact thing. We literally give off an oder in Gods nostrils and smells so bad that he cant even come in the door. We forget the process and the preparation it takes for our hearts to truly seek him for who is he is not what he can do for me.
Church is about God's agenda not about our agendas and plans, Sorry friends my heart is yearning to seek the gaze of his eyes into mine. I want to be held by the King and listen to his heart speak. See when we are totally intune with his heart our hearts beat as one and what we do is what he would do and there is no need for justification when we truly beat with his heart.
Cloth your self with praise adorn yourself with worship, put on his favorite color, and cry tears and passionate longing from your heart and He will be moved by desire to see his face.
Becoming his bride, once we get this and it truly clicks, the rest of everything else fades, yes life storms around us and things happen, but gazing on his face will guide us to the right place, The wedding supper of the lamb.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Blizzards-He has fire in his eyes, which warms my soul
This is something cool that God spoke to me as I was driving home from work the other night.
You see I have recently gone back to work and let me just say I am thankful for God provision and timing, with out this job coming right when it did I am just not sure where we would be.
We are currently trying to sell either one of our 2 houses. Yes some say its a good problem to have but in looking at it, not so sure that it is. First of all own 2 houses is advice that I would not give anyone to do. Sell your current one before you purchase a 2nd one. We are left with 2 mortgages and 2 utility payments. Can you say stressed, very stressed. This last past year 2010 was a whirl wind of emotions. Loss of a church that my family was 100 and ten percent dedicated to, loss of friends and acquaintances, loss of self, loss of trust and etc, Going back to work full time, putting my photography business slightly on hold, but still doing it on the side. Adjusting to being a mom, wife, full time employee, and everything else in between all those. So stressed that I longed for the touch, the presence, peace, and everlasting love of the fathers glance at me. I sought it out.
I happen to come across a womens meeting that Evangel was hosting where a awesome author of Every woman's battle, was going to be along with Justin Rizzo and worship leader from international House of Prayer. I went alone with no one.
As I sat and listened to the worship and began to feel something change inside of me, I knew that God was stirring something and becoming me to listen to the next few hours. As I listened and heard the messages brought forth, My love as the Bride of Christ began to unfold. I began to fall in love with Jesus all over again, I didnt have a church home, I was just waiting and listening and feeling his love wash over me. My heart still grieves for what could have been, I still remember and will never forget the good memories I have shared with some really great people.
In all this story of my life paragraphs I said it to say this.
I got off work and stepped outside to discover the ground, parking lot, and cars had be covered in snow in a matter of an hour or less. I was amazed because this was an unforeseen snow, no one was prepared and it showed on the way home. As I began to drive I could feel every bone in my body tighten up as I peeled my eyes to the road or what I thought was the road. As I began to drive I noticed that the city had obviously been unprepared and the roads were unsalted and uncleared. Sliding and slipping as I drove I finally made it to the watterson express way. Well let me say that usually 5 min drive on that express way, lasted way longer than it was suppose to. People had no direction, no since of surroundings, the lanes in the road were non visible, cars were guessing where they think they should be, It was a complete mess. Then it started snowing so hard that visibility was minimal and for a sec I thought I may never get home, lll freeze if I have to spend the night in my van, Little did I know that as I kept going despite what was blowing and churning around me. that I kept going, I never once looked back, I never once said, Im done, ok this is too impossible, I kept going, I gazed on his eyes and nothing else around me mattered any longer.
God said this is who you are and this is what I desire for my people. To be warriors, not giving up or in, even if you slip and slide keep holding tight to me even if its by a thread on the hem of my garment. My children I desire a dept of love so gazed on me that it dosent matter where you step or the path you walking, all that matters is that you are looking at me, through me, and wanting more of me.
Wow I am amazed every day at the insight he gives on every day situations, how he has a plan and purpose for everything. I am his bride and he is my beloved. I long to gaze upon the fired in his eyes, His name is Jesus!!
You see I have recently gone back to work and let me just say I am thankful for God provision and timing, with out this job coming right when it did I am just not sure where we would be.
We are currently trying to sell either one of our 2 houses. Yes some say its a good problem to have but in looking at it, not so sure that it is. First of all own 2 houses is advice that I would not give anyone to do. Sell your current one before you purchase a 2nd one. We are left with 2 mortgages and 2 utility payments. Can you say stressed, very stressed. This last past year 2010 was a whirl wind of emotions. Loss of a church that my family was 100 and ten percent dedicated to, loss of friends and acquaintances, loss of self, loss of trust and etc, Going back to work full time, putting my photography business slightly on hold, but still doing it on the side. Adjusting to being a mom, wife, full time employee, and everything else in between all those. So stressed that I longed for the touch, the presence, peace, and everlasting love of the fathers glance at me. I sought it out.
I happen to come across a womens meeting that Evangel was hosting where a awesome author of Every woman's battle, was going to be along with Justin Rizzo and worship leader from international House of Prayer. I went alone with no one.
As I sat and listened to the worship and began to feel something change inside of me, I knew that God was stirring something and becoming me to listen to the next few hours. As I listened and heard the messages brought forth, My love as the Bride of Christ began to unfold. I began to fall in love with Jesus all over again, I didnt have a church home, I was just waiting and listening and feeling his love wash over me. My heart still grieves for what could have been, I still remember and will never forget the good memories I have shared with some really great people.
In all this story of my life paragraphs I said it to say this.
I got off work and stepped outside to discover the ground, parking lot, and cars had be covered in snow in a matter of an hour or less. I was amazed because this was an unforeseen snow, no one was prepared and it showed on the way home. As I began to drive I could feel every bone in my body tighten up as I peeled my eyes to the road or what I thought was the road. As I began to drive I noticed that the city had obviously been unprepared and the roads were unsalted and uncleared. Sliding and slipping as I drove I finally made it to the watterson express way. Well let me say that usually 5 min drive on that express way, lasted way longer than it was suppose to. People had no direction, no since of surroundings, the lanes in the road were non visible, cars were guessing where they think they should be, It was a complete mess. Then it started snowing so hard that visibility was minimal and for a sec I thought I may never get home, lll freeze if I have to spend the night in my van, Little did I know that as I kept going despite what was blowing and churning around me. that I kept going, I never once looked back, I never once said, Im done, ok this is too impossible, I kept going, I gazed on his eyes and nothing else around me mattered any longer.
God said this is who you are and this is what I desire for my people. To be warriors, not giving up or in, even if you slip and slide keep holding tight to me even if its by a thread on the hem of my garment. My children I desire a dept of love so gazed on me that it dosent matter where you step or the path you walking, all that matters is that you are looking at me, through me, and wanting more of me.
Wow I am amazed every day at the insight he gives on every day situations, how he has a plan and purpose for everything. I am his bride and he is my beloved. I long to gaze upon the fired in his eyes, His name is Jesus!!
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