Fanitical Love!

So recently I have been hearing Christians say, we need to get back to the way church is suppose to be, or the way it use to be.  So this has been something I have been praying on, thinking about and asking God for the direction I should take.

Photographed by Me Anna Marie Garcia Photography

With this said if your reading my blog you either know me, stumbled up on my blog while searching for something else, or you just want to see if I have any juicy subjects to spill.  Well what ever the case my be I want to share this and I hope you see what I am saying and what has been on my heart.

God is Good all the time and all the time Good.  This is a saying I have heard over a million times in church and it becomes a clishe or another rituaita that gets passed on for generations.  If we were quicker to guard our mouths and reverence our words as though we were only rationed a few to speak a day, I think that we would put more thought into what Came of out our mouths and what we allowed in.

Soo with that thinking about the way church is suppose to be or needs to get back to or whatever term that has been used lately.

I look back to when John the baptist started baptizing people in the Jordan river.  I kinda think that was an out of the box idea.  He wasnt really affiliated with anyone other than Jesus.  He wasnt baptizing for an agenda or propaganda he was simply doing something that well others didnt think about.  For example the traditional way was be baptized in certain setting, or water dipped from a bowl(which there is nothing wrong that) or wearing a certain clothing.  John was simply spreading the Good news of Jesus and preparing the hearts and giving hope to those who were in their regular clothes, regular lives, and just regular people.  JOhn the baptist himself wasnt a well grommed man, he at locost and lived in the wild.  now today if there was a man down at the river baptising people who looked like John did, I think we would think he was a little fanitical.  Funny thing is soo did the people of Johns day, so did the traditional Church think that he was off his rocker just a tad.  They meaning the "churched" folk were so caught up in traditional things that they simply overlooked the very thing that they needed and that was change.

If you look at each disciple and the apostles you think that each one was a member of something that not many people were able to join.  I am sure they were looked on as a cult, or as some kind of fantastical running around causing trouble and creating disorder in the land.  Think of their boldness to walk up to blind and lame men only to heal them instantly,  Dont you think that would have been a little crazy, to witness and especially when in those days, things like that didnt happen until this Jesus guy showed.  I dont have a PHd or MD or even a degree in christian thinking or thought or anything. But I do see that church today still has the same meaning, same hang ups, same discord, same issues as the church back in the day did.  They want to run the show, they want to be in charge, you have to be this way to be here, if you disagree you are a fanitical and crazy,  you cause disruption, or This is how the church does this so this is how its going to be done.  Mind you I do understand rules and such, but when it becomes more about the laws and regulations and traditions than it does about the loving, merciful grace of God who sent Jesus his Son, Him in the flesh to walk the earth with us to be with us,  He desired us soo much that he took on our form and took beatings and mocking yet he still loved and forgave us.  WOW,  So what do we think about church getting back to its roots now.  its about getting back to being different, outside the box, non traditional all the time, and getting our hands dirty to reach out to those who need Jesus.  Not to be ashamed of the one who created us and wants our love and the bride that we are.  He wants us, he desires his people not a cliche of churchness and churched folk.  But hearts of people who long after his an desire him and follow where he leads no matter where he will lead.  Sometimes that means doing something differently than what ya been doing.  I wanna be a fanitic for you lord help me to be outside the box, standing for those who desperately need your touch. God Breathe your renewed life on me and create a fanatical love only you can give.

Looking into the heart, and this is what I see

For the record type of Blog. 

I know that I am not perfect and I am a person in need of a savior every day of my life. 

I have began to study, the different crazy, mind, blowing things that have taken place in the Bible.  I was watching one of my favorite cartoons the other night about Moses.  Yes Prince of Eqypt.  My son begged to watch it in the van and all I could here was the audio.  As I listened to the part where moses finds the burning bush when he went looking for the lost lamb and I hear moses question God and God comes back with his strength in instill faith and a reverance fear of him.  He Reminded moses of what all he had done. Creation of the world.  The part I hear is who made mans mouth did not I.  Wow that Gets to me.  As I will question why it is I do what I do.  People may think, I am supporting a man, over looking sins because I want to be in his fan club, or what ever.  But they are failing to see the point I am making and the point really is not for them to understand anyways.  Bear with me as I explain.  Through my studing through out the Bible recently I have seen where time and time again that God proved to do some really awesome and crazing things to help people understand what it was he was trying to convey. The real meaning of everything he is trying to get us to understand is his love for us.  Every thing he has done and all the miracles are his way of showing how much he willing to do for his Bride, and his ultimate price was Giving Jesus to the world so that we would see a fleshly relevance to a spiritual world.  How can wen understand the spiritual when we are not spiritually pure beings.  we had to see it in the flesh and see what the love of the bridegroom feels like for his bride and the willingness to sacrifice his own life and love for us.  I remember hearing a story of some hikers that were hiking in a snowy mountainous area and they got stuck on the side of a mountain and there was a man and a women newly weds I think.  Inorder for the mans bride to be saved he had her lay on his body so she would not freeze to death which in turn took his life.  Wow!!!!  Such love, and yet there is one who have done this for all of us and yet we still dont see the point. 

So as you look through time and time again at the children of Israel and their lives and all they have went through, and you see there were times that they didnt some pretty, blasphemous things, and also made idols time and time again and blatantly turned from God and YET He still extended grace and mercy and a everlasting love for his chosen. 

That brings me to why I do what I do.  If you critize or disagree with me then thats ok but what I do isnt for you.  Its for those looking in from the outside scheme of things.  Its for those I see at work who need to see that no matter what they feel like they have done, they can see that the Jesus I know will expend grace and mercy to them.   I hope that those reading will see my point will see my understanding and see that I want those who need to know that I am not a Critical Christian, I am not going to beat a bible in their brains( which only makes for more hearden hearts).  I want to see souls saved, changed and free from bondage, not put in the bondage of Religious Christianity and beats others down.  You can say what you will or believe what you may, but as for me and my house where Gods go we go, and what God says do we do.  Even if it means others dont understand or dont have a clue. 

Today God called me by my name and said Anna, this is where I want you, for such a time as this, for a time to be a gap filler so that sinners will see a person and family that is willing to be uncomfortable and unresitricted and not bound by others so that I might be available to the others who will need a Christian that dosent look at the mess but looks at the heart and soul. 

So I have been working a week now, Im still in training and will be for a month or so,  So I wont be able to really say yes I like this or not, but for now one point has driven home to me lately and this is what it is.

This is what you make of it.  What you put in is what you get out. 

This concept rings true to any area of our lives.  Its kind of funny how if we pay attention enough we can find the most important things out of life its self. 

Time:  There is never enough time in day.  We spend most of it working, watching tv or surfing the net or on facebook.  Its just funny how life works.  I worried that going to work I would be sooo afraid that I might loose my kids affection and I wouldnt be as motherly to them because I wasnt at home.  In one week I find out that Ryder loves being with grandma and dom loves going to the Ymca.  He actually begged to go back.  The things we often fear the most are the things that we actually find can be rewarding and Very not what we expected.  So Time is what you make of it.  If you make it quality you get quality if you spend it meaning less what you get is well meaningless. 

One morning while driving into work I felt the protection of God and closness that I have never felt before it was actually amazing to feel him as if he was sitting in the care right next to me.  Simply amazing it what it was.   In that time I feel that God sees me for me and he knows me and yet he still loves me.  I havent given up on what I know God is trying to say to me.  I havent given up on what I felt he was telling me to do and what he was saying.   I am sooo at the point that I dont care what you think of me or any one else.  I could care less.  Why because God knows me and my intentions and my love for him is like none other.  I am his bride and I am loving it. 

Opportunities:  Well they are what we make of them.  We have oppurtunities that are right infront of us everyday of our lives,  We see them but yet we dont see the fact that we are blind by our own selves to run with the doors that are opened to us.  We can see them because we are focused on earthly things we are not focused on the bridegroom and his ways for our lives. We miss it and dont make nothing of it and still CRY why me.  This is good.

Whether its your Job, your life, your family, your friends, your church, your city, your wallet,

Carpe diem sieze the day.  Make the most of it,  Make it your own, do your best and Put in with out wanting anything in return, do it as if Jesus was sitting right next to you.  We are carriers of the GLORY when we are his Bride and if we dont take advantage and take hold of it then are boldness fades, we miss it and we dont ever expect something more for ours lives. 

Willing ........

Ok ok ok,  so here is a very important topic that has been swirling and swirling inside of me.

In light of recent events a passion has been growing inside of me like never before.  I have often wondered what a church would look like with truly no walls, no limits, no boundaries.   Now some of us need limits and boundaries but I am not talking about physical or emotional or laws or standards.  I am speaking of the spiritual.  No spiritual limits or boundaries.  What would that look like.  Now some of us will be quick to quote all the scriptures that in the view point of your situation may agree with you.  But in order to look at what God is really saying we should really look at what the world was like at that time, what situation was the context written in and we actually will get what more of God's heart is saying.  We can quote scriptures by them selves and thats good and all but sometimes we have to see what it was written and what it was written for.

So with that said.

I have often thought about spiritual limits and boundaries we put on our churches.  We decide who gets to do this and that. We decide what happens pretty much.  If we like you your in and if we dont then not so much.  We argue about petty things, and when I mean THINGS I am talking about material possessions. Our focus gets way off God, which is where the devil wants us so he can surprise attack.  while we argue about carpets, tiles, pews, seats, lighting, cameras, sound, childrens depts, teens,  this and that, this and that,  what has our focus become???   Just a question or thought.

Instead of classifying people into these are the bads ones or troubled ones, gay, lesbians, theifs, etc etc I could go on a on and on.  We put people in a box, we think we are praying for them to be set free all the while we are chaining them up.  If you go into help someone in need whether its homeless or whatever and you drive an expensive car or you walk up in 100 shoes or make up and jewelry what does that say about u.  I mean we want to scream dont judge me but we have haughty attitudes, we have the crusaders mentalities.  We act like that in a poor neighborhood God doesn't exist and we are bringing the light to them.  When more times then not they have better attitudes and spiritual walks with God than we could ever dream of having.   If you read the context of the proverbs and psalms the poor is mentioned many times and the majority it talks about God is with them and they are blessed.

Then this brings me to where our society talking mainly about Americans and we tend to serve Mammon rather than God,  I am talking about money here.  We dont realize that God has been replaced with our wants to prosper.  yes God blesses us, but those blessings come in many different ways,  for example Good friends, blessed womb of a barren woman,  Children, grandparents, families.  Etc etc.  Knowing God's heart Money becomes sooo much more less and less. yes it would be nice to have believe me, but then where would our faith be?  Where would our trust be?  Materialistic is what we have become.  We didnt realize that what we are actually serving is money.  Ouch yes I know I might be stepping on your toes.  If we feel God is leading us somewhere, then we dont have to beg and plead for the funds or the things we need.  God will supply.   Sometimes that supply might be in a job, or donation, or a money tree(prob not the tree) but whatever God chooses is a form of provision and blessings.

I want a place sooo bad it isnt funny but I also want to see those who are soo unloved, troubled, sick, hurting, dying spiritually to come to Jesus.   I want a place that a man can walk in wearing a dress, carrying a purse, and wearing make up walk in to with out a glace of the righteous sending darting glares of unworthiness. Where they make the change because they were accepted in their present state but it was God who spoke to them and it was God breathed his life into their sleeping soul.  This is a true story of a very dear friend of mine.  If it wasnt for a place like that, I would not know this friend of the family.  Countless stories of others who could walk into a place and just weep and not be questioned but it is really God who speaks to them and touches their hearts.

We have to start equaling out the playing field and let others see that they are just the same level and special to God as anyone else.  You status on Earth has  nothing to do with your status in heaven. That Goes for Preachers, teachers, evangelist, as well.  We put people in high places only that when they fall we stomp on them like their mud sending back to where God made them from.  Reality is the reason we are so hurt and disappointing in others is because we place a value on them that is really much more than we should.  yes accountability should be great and leaders should lead with respect and integrity but when they have no accountability I mean those willing to tell someone as nathan did to david. 

You may agree or not agree with me. you may feel like I am totally crazy. But remember it is God who gives us the choice to choose.  The real question is will we distract someone, or others but the way we look at them, the way we talk to them, the things we do in general, we will portray humility or will our arrogance shine.  Will we say look at what a Great Job we did to help the homeless when in reality many of us our one bad mistake or payment away from being with no home. That is just one example, it could be helping a old woman across the street, come to find out she didnt need our help and we where actually holding her back. Or we we see a drunk on the street and we cast a shame shadow instead of praying for them and realizing that there is way more to why they are like they are.  We are all in need of a savior every day.  humbleness, faithfulness, desire to want to know God more in our hearts, yearning to hear him and sit at his feet, yielded vessels, not consumed by things, but willing to be outside of the box, willing to accept people for their situations all the while realizing the situations we are in ourselves,   willing to do... whatever it is that is asked , regardless of the nay Sayers and slanders,  Willing....

Eyes of the father, my bridegroom

How do you see with your eyes?  What kind of Filter do you see through?  What is your purpose?  Do you believe it?  Are you confident in it? 

So the last few days have been a time of totally getting into the presence of God.  Started with Eddie James and his team.  Of course I got blessed and all the while I heard spoke over me, more of his anointing, fire lord, more more more.  This was at Eddie James prayer line.  Then the next night which was friday when the lady who was praying the conference prayed over me it was almost around 10:20pm.  But her message was the same, more anointing, more fire, more more more more. 

So why this is soooo significant is that I have been in the desert place for quite sometime now, wondering and hoping and praying why cant I feel what God had for me, I don't I feel the fire, I wanted it and I sooo desired it.  The connect and change prob started a few weekends ago at another women conference where I felt some literally hindrances break off me.  Then to walk into the last 2 days open and ready to Take on the bride of Christ that I was ment to be. I was positioned divinely, not only have I been filled to a greater capacity I feel that I now have a new heart and its his heart. 

There were two examples of what I believe Gods heart is and why I feel like I have it.  First time was at eddie james.  I saw a young man and I was burden with his soul and the bondage that I could see on his life.  Intercession began and Gods heart was desperate for this young mans heart to be his.  He was like a stone, no facial expressions, His face was a solid rock in the midst of crying, jumping, worshiping, and freedom, He was sooo greatly bound.  I saw him standing there and it really scared me to see a young man that so purposly choose not to want to change and it looked as if would rather be bound.  My prayer and intercession has reached new levels which in praying for him...   This story I hope to find out will be a great one once his heart belongs to the lord.  Its a war people, if we thinks its not we are grealty mistaken. We need to war after souls. 

Number 2 encounter actually happened with a lady we will call Judy.  Judy was a woman I met all because a friend decided she wanted to go to a christian bookstore that was never where we had lunch.  I was reluctant at first but then decided ok why not walk over there.  At that time I never knew that this walk was for Judy.  So we looked around the christian book store for a bit and then when it came time to leave there was Judy. A lady who looked weathered, tired, and a little discombobulated.  She walked out before we left.  A few minutes went buy as we were walking out of the store and on to side walk.  Judy was showing a shirt she purchased from a christian bookstore to a gentlemen I assume she knew and who I felt was being not so nice to her, that a nice way of saying it.  When I saw the hurt in her eyes and something in me jumped, what I walked into felt I needed to do something.  We continued to walk until we came around the corner so I could look back at Judy as now she was sitting in a passenger side seat and the man what now at her door talking to her but facing with his but in her face.  First of all when I see a man abuse a women it makes me really flare up, whethers its mental, physical, or spiritual abuse I get heated.  So My friend and I talked about it and we felt the same way so she said lets go pray for her.  As we approached her window and asked to pray with her you could see the hurt and sadness in her eyes.  We prayed for her and the first thing she said was you don't know how much that ment to me. you will never know.  She said I was a spirit filled christian who use to be in church but backslid,  she said I know that he is there for me. I know that I left him and he didn't leave me.  Wow, she was struggling and a mess and she knew the root of it.  It seems that sometimes we just need to her from our own lips what we have know down inside for a long time. This was the walk for Judy.  Maybe the one glace I gave her or my friend gave her was a divine appoint to see a hurting people.  Taking ministry to the streets and just being an open vessel at any moment and be willing and open to see with the heart of God. 

Obedience and doing what we Gods heart says is one of the most wonderful feelings.  Today I gave a word in the womens meeting.  To be honest I feel like it was hard word.  maybe not a popular one of everything is going to be ok, life is peachy, or even an encouraging one.  It was a call of obedience a call of wanting an wooing the heart of his people.  It was the king calling for his Bride.  I am not sure who heard it, or who listened to it because I was soo heavy, God was in the room and he wanted willing vessels to be used and to dance and glory in his presence.  In some ways I question that I must have gave the wrong one because it was a heavy one.  No claping and joyous outburst, but it was a plea for us to dance deeper with him.  To take the steps of seeing and taking our purpose as the bride of christ.  Yes an awakening but our main purpose was we were created to be a pleasing and blessing to the Lord.  We were created because he wanted a person and being that would desire him even they r given the choice for something else.  He wants us to glory and bask int he presence of the creator the author of life.  oh how he loves me. 

I dont know if those who heard it understood what he wanted,  He wanted more more more more and a deepness and I could have stayed there for a long time just sitting in his presence.  Once we get closer to the heart of the bridegroom, the father and see as he sees.  its a beautiful love dance for our souls.  He is dancing in hope that we will answer back. 

Under HIS Wing!!!

This last weekend has been a life changing time for me.  Many may not understand but something clicked in me.  I think that I was at the point in my life that I was angry inside and I felt so distant from God.  We all have ups and down in Christianity but its how we handle it that matters in the difference in our attitudes and our walk.

Our walk with Christ should be one continual victory,  not victim mentality, who is me, look at me I have been through soo much.  Yes we should speak on our testimony and share that but the glory should not be in the testimony circumstances but in the one who brought you out of it.  So yes there is a difference about freedom and living as the Bride of Christ, which is true freedom.

So a lot has happened in the past several weeks with me.  Yes there was some church hurt left overs but personally my family has be stretched to its limits with owning 2 houses and some others things along with that.  One thing that I have learned is that life isn't about how sad I am but its about walking as the Bride of Christ.

Yes I keep saying the Bride of Christ and many people don't want to equate intimate thoughts with Jesus.  But this is what I mean.  Once we accept that Jesus offered his life freely to us at his first communion he extended the cup as a representation of him, some may not realize that this in Jewish customs was done when a groom offers the cup to his potential bride.  The groom negotiates a high price for her and then he extends the cup to her and if she drinks of it then its her way of accepting his love and that she is free to know that she is secure in his love.

Do we as a christian believing people really believe and accept the freedom that his love gave us.  He did it freely, so there wasn't really a price to be paid,  it was act of love, which means there is no obligation for us to have to serve him because he gave his life.  We should serve him because we desire to love him and we desire him and because we want to.  We we totally accept and become vulnerable that under the shadow of his wing is where we are safe in his love,  There is a protection, security that that brings.

I know that I am loved by him, I am his Bride and I am truly free to live to walk in victory knowing that whatever comes my way God will defend because under his wings I am safe and secure and he is my refuge.

Churches have caught the wave of all the free and freedom songs that can be sung in church are.  But do we really understand what free means??

Here are some definitions that I find interesting considering they didn't come from a spiritual place or book but from a regular dictionary off the internet.

unconfined: free expansion Not fixed in position; capable of relatively unrestricted motion,Not bound, fastened, or attached .Given, made, or done of one's own accord; voluntary or spontaneous,Unconstrained; Costing nothing; gratuitous,Unobstructed,Unguarded in expression or manner; open; frankTaking undue liberties; forward or overfamiliar. Not imprisoned or enslaved; being at liberty,Not controlled by obligation or the will of another,Not subject to a given condition exempt unconstrained,free or remove obstruction from,not held in servitude,absolve: let off the hook,release....grant freedom 2; free from confinement,dislodge: remove,able to act at will; not hampered; not under compulsion or restrain

I want you to ponder those definitions for a minute and see if those change your perspective of free and what it means.

Jesus free gave his life for us to be unconfined, unrestricted, not bound, unobstructed, not imprisoned or enslaved, not controlled by obligation not held in servitude, absolve, released, granted freedom.  Wow this really enlightens me to see that there is soo much security in knowing that when I truly accept that he is my groom that he will take care of me, he will protect me, I don't have to worry, I don't even have to repay, that he is not expecting that I do the same, but he desires that I love him and give back to him because I want to do it because of his love not to get anything in return or out of obligation but out of love.

A whole new concept.  This even equates into our relationships.  I don't want friends who feel obligated to, or just because, or feel guilty I want friends to be around because they want to.  

To walk in freedom of accepting the love that he has for us and what it really means is a whole new thing, its something many don't understand.  Yes we accept Jesus in our hearts and we love him and he has changed us but we don't see what he is really saying when it comes to the love he has for us,

Oh how he loves us, oh how he loves us.!!!!!!

Under his wings I will be, under his wing I will scaled the mountains, under his wing i will slay the enemy, under his wing will I abide, I am secure I am loved under his wing is where I want to be,

In his arms..

It funny(ironically) how life can hit you all at once, everything that can go wrong does and then some. 
In the process called life and what it brings I am always learning new things.  Friendships and what the value of that is and what it really means.  What is my passion in life and how much I miss it.  Stress, how much I just desire peace and long for a time of peace.  everything happens for a reason or because of decisions.  One thing I have watched and learned is that we must all be daily reading the word and praying with Jesus.  When you dont constantly stay in tune with Jesus you start to wonder off in all directions or you dont make the right direction choices. 

I have been pondering lots of things lately and about life can really distract us for what we are designed to do.  We are designed to be companions to the one who created us.  He was kind enough of to create us with our own will and ambtions in hopes of taking a chance on us that we would ultimately choose him rather than everything around us. 

The Author Of Life created us knowing there was a chance we would do our own things and listen to the snake in the tree.  He took that chance and we humans failed him, did he give up on us.  No he let us figure things out on own that we would desire him back.  As a punishment to adam and Eve he sent them out of the garden as a way of saying you didnt trust me that I would take care of you so now you will learn what trust means and what believing in me means.  Wow that is an awesome thought.

Also when Jesus was going through the greatest struggle of all times with his flesh verses what he knew he must do.  Judas was always around standing in the side lines awaiting for his role to be fulfilled.  Jesus knew Judas was going to betray him he knew that!!! But yet he still loved Judas and still kept him around.  Maybe it was to fulfill destiny but I also like to think that Jesus would have forgave him.  Jesus was still going to the cross regardless of Judas.  Why didnt Judas come back to Jesus in repentance?  I often wonder if it was the wispering amoung his fellow brothers the disciples that could have caused him to be soooo ashamed that Judas already being a weak mind couldnt recover and ultimately choose death.  Wow what a sad sad thought.  We never know the lives that we can change for the good or bad when we make decisions or when we choose to wisper or when we choose to live a life outside of relationship with Jesus.  If we truly are living in truth of Jesus and we are truly fulfilling God's will the struggle wont be as hard as we make it out to be.  We can find peace where there seems to be none.  If we are willing to just sit in the arms of Jesus and rest a while and open every deep dark place in our hearts and truly give it to God never to pick it up again.  How free could we be.  How forgiving could we be.  What mountains could that move. 

People are always going to be people.  Lets face it that is what life is about.  But Jesus stood in that gap for all of us to be able to really open our hearts and truly serve him in everything we do.  If it dosent glorfy him then maybe we should rethink what is about to be said or done. 

Decisions are never easy but making them while having a relationship with Jesus makes it a lot more peaceful and right.  Decisions may not be popular with friends or family but also long as they are with God then nothing else matters.

Sterotypers Sterotype

Today I went to take a test for a company.  Well one of the questions was something like this do you believe when some one has been put into a sterotype that it is true?  True of False answers.

I answered No.  But when I came home and sitting in the quiet of the evening this quesiton became so real to me.  We as Christians and humans classify people, we sterotype people every day and dont even realize that we are cutting people off or not givening them as change to be some other than the sterotype we put on them.  Ouch I need a band aid for that one.

How many times have we said something or believed something about someone and then in fact was the opposite.  We also look at past mistakes and classify people that way too.  All the while hiding our own sins and mistakes. 

A Stero type are belifes that a person is a certain way based on assumptions. 

Why do we not go and find the truth about someone for our selves, why dont we take the time to see what someone is really like, what they are going through, and to look deep in their soul and see valuable beautiful beings that God has created in his image.  We all have been created like him so in turn we reflect a part of him.  So when we stero type someone and classify them by their sins, or by the way they look, or by whatever it is saying that God dosent know what he is doing, and that we dont trust him.

Too often we try to take matters in our own hands and punish or give up on someone because we feel the need to sever relationships.  But did Jesus ever sever his relationship with us just because things Got bad, ulgy, nasty and dirty?  Just a thought.

He may back off and let us kick and scream to have it our way but then bam he is right there to pick us up.  Im sooo tired of Judgment throughing people.  The fact is we are sterotyping and handing out judgments and turning people off to Jesus. 

My prayer is that I really dont want to be a sterotyper.  I dont want to cut someone off because I feel uncomfortable or non confrontational.

Lord help me to serve others like I am serving you.  help me to see in to there heart and be able to help them by your grace, mercy and everlasting love.  Your love oh Lord is higher than the mountains and your love is deeper than the seas.

Drift wood

Bear with me as I tend to think of things in detail and depth. I like to shed new light on things.

Drift wood is wood that is from a natural disaster or a breaking up of or something such as a flood hurricane, etc. 

When something happens in a persons life.  No matter what it is can have devastaing effects on those that person.  One issue with someone might not be as big of a deal as some other occuance in another persons life, if that make sense.  So no matter the cause of the breaking or shattering it hurts nonetheless.

Sometimes people are strayed about as if they are drift wood in the river of God.  These are people that are just drifting because their lives have been shattered by one reason or another.  They have suffered great mishaps or things very important to them have crumbled.  So their lives have been broken apart into pieces in the river and they are just floating not knowing where they will end up, but at this point they are not fighting the current but they are now flowing with it to see where it takes them.  I know this can be seen as something dark and like depression but if you look at it with different view point you can see that sometimes all we can do is just flow in him or his presence and be willing to stop fighting where he is taking us. 


There is a reason for everything I like to say, no matter what happens in life all things work together for those who love God.  He will redirect us and repostion us to places we could never imagine.

As a piece of drift wood lands on the shore of a new place and new sand it begins to realize that this new place isnt so bad and that the coca nut tress are really pretty.  Then it begins to dry in the sun and suddenly it is wisked away.  The drift wood not realizing that in due time has been created into a beautiful piece of Art by a greatly skilled carpenter.  The carpenter has given the drift wood a new life and now has more meaning and a brighter future that ever before.

Re purposed and repositioned drift wood is what I long for.  Re purposed handcrafted by the greatest author of Life.

Redirection and Repositioning

I feel lead to share this and I hope that it is seen as my heart for others.  I am not gonna dare say in the process of life I have been perfect or ever will be perfect.

In hard times it is sooo easy to remember the bad things and focus on the hard times that are going on around us that we forget the many lives that have been touched.  I always say that God is going to be God no matter if we get in the way of it or not.  Sooo many people have been touched by Jesus at New Vision Ministry Center.  Yes even in the last few months at our new building which is now the old building.  People walked in the building for example when church wasnt happening and you could tell they were brought there with tears in their eyes because Jesus was there.

Over the last several years God has drawn many people to him despise us and what we make of things.  I am not talking about the failures of Just one.  I am talking about the failure of the church as a whole.  I have many opinions on the matter and have seen a lot of behind the scenes things.  I just want to Give God the praise for all he has done despite our human nature.  Be assured that God makes us all accountable for the things we do, know, say, speak, and act.  Despite the obvious there are many things that God has seen and has been disappointed with in ALL of us.  But as I look at all the different type of people, and different types of lives, and what God has done it amazes me. 

I have personally worked with several people who would have never came inside a Regular church to be honest if I had know it was a Church of God church I prob would have never stepped in the front door and I have been saved all my life since I was six when I was filled with the Holy Spirit.  I have seen alot in my 21 years as a christian.   People are looking for a church that can feel that they are able to walk into and fit right in.  They are looking for a place that dosent scream change or go to hell. I think we as a church as a whole all over the world are afraid to truly open our doors and let anyone in.  In a recent service I heard well if someone disagrees with you or causes trouble what u do is compliment them and walk them to the door and then say Go find another church.  WOW that blew my mind as I sat and thought about Jesus eating with those tax collectors, street people, and those deemed as "find another church type of people."  If we are going to be a church that represents Jesus then lets truly represent him and let him change the hearts and minds of people, not rush them out door cause we are afraid of confrontation.  Lets remember if Jesus is on our side he gives us the words and things to speak to be able to penetrate even the most unpentratable people.

We also started the online services being broadcast which allowed those sick and those who might not want to come to church visit.  There were those who even paid tithe through the online church.  Who knows how many lives were touched by the internet broadcast.  There was even a man that is deemed unreachable watching some of our services.   There were many good things and many good people.  I want us to remember that, because lives were changed because of Jesus. 

I am tired of Church as the Norm.  I am tired of Church politics and how people act.  One minute they love you and the next well not so much.   Yes my family was hurt in the process and that is what the devil delights in.  Not in the sin as much as how humans act when the pressure is on and stress comes.  It really tests are true character.

I have been in churches all my life and have seen so many pastors come and go, and have seen alot of things.  It amazes me that seemingly the same process continues and we wonder why are churches are falling apart. We have to be careful listen to our heart (which is the holy spirit if it lives in side of us) tell us to do. 

My family has been redirected and repositioned to a new direction for a time.  Many may question, many will think what they will but I will follow God no matter what any says, thinks, opinionates about me.  He is my ultimate Judge:)

We have to start looking at the Good in things rather than all the bad that is going on and happening.  As New Vision has came to a close I am proud that I was a part of the many lives that were touched and changed forever through that ministry.  I am sad that it is no more.  I have to part from the new congregation that has formed because one thing and that is I feel that I am released from there.  Not just because of the hurts but because I want to truly be effective on what God has called me and my family to do.  My prayers are that the new church moves forward for what God has called them to do and that they listen to his every direction.

I am looking forward the brighter things ahead and what God is going to do through us.  Sometimes you realize that if something takes away from the time you spend with God and your family then it needs to get revaluated.  If we dont reevaluate then he will do it for us.   That is how much he loves us.  He initiates the steps we need to take for reevaluation and repositioning.

I am repositioned and reevaluated and ready for greater things to come.  I am ready for his presence to consume and over take me.  Im ready to share what Jesus has done for me not just because it what a good christian is suppose to do, but because my relationship with Jesus is soooo strong that I want others to know the love that he has for ALL.  ALL Every person is valuable, no matter their flawes, there is always hope for someone and If no one else thinks so then I want to find it.  Cant wait Cant wait Im ready and Im stepping out of the doors of building to do something more for Jesus:)

Beacon in the Dark!

Have you ever took a step in the dark hoping you wouldn't step on a lego or toy?  I do this quite often:)(2 boys who love legos)  A sigh of relief fills the air as my foot plants softly on the floor with no harm to my foot, but that soon fades as my foot rises once again to take that next step.

Only if we could totally trust the dark we wouldn't have this problem or if we could trust our kids to put away their toys.  This got me to thinking about how we should trust God.  No matter where you are in life you may not see right away where your feet will land but know that God will guide you to the right places.  Its when we try to guide our own steps when we stumble on the toys or things left lying around.

As a Child of God I want to make sure that my walk is humble and that I can be a reliable and relate able person to others who are in need of help, praying, friend to talk to, etc  My trust in God has to shine through so others will see that they too can totally trust him to take care of their needs.  If my faith is wavering and I am literally a mess its really hard for others to see that faith works.  Not saying life has to be or is perfect but saying we should always watch our actions and how we deal with things because you never know who is watching.

For example say someone has done you wrong and you openly are glad they are having trouble.  Or you even secretly delight in their pain or suffering cause they deserved it.  Well God see's your reaction and your heart in that dealing.  He sees what choices you have before you and that is to spread life or death on your own soul.  By taking joy in another suffering actually brings you one step closer or away from the life that you need to be close to the father.

Every decision whether its taking part in a bad joke at work, be negative, or woe is me, or everyone hates me, or by being depressed all the time and not partaking in the JOY of the Lord even when don't feel like it.  Not matter what we must always take a step back and see that we are never far way from letting our selves partake in sin. So we must always watch and trust God to lead us and guard our hearts by the making choices that keeps us closer to him and not farther away from him.

I want to be a light in the dark place, I want to walk in the dark so that my light for Jesus will shine brighter than before.  If a candle is always in a lite room how effective is it until it hits the dark then its seen from all around.  Thats where I want to be!!  Let the Lord guide me through the dark so those who live in the dark will see the light and be able to know you because I was a beacon in the dark.

I am a branch in the tree of life, Question is am I a dying one or a living one?

Where u lead I will Follow!


This morning I woke and decided to venture out by my self.  I usually hate being alone but today I was all by myself. So I decided to go to Bernheim Forest.  I needed to clear my head and to sit in the peace of nature and just relax my mind and soul.  I also wanted some time to be able to take some picts a secret passion I have, that has been dormant because of the busyness of life.  Here are some of the picts I took today that give u an idea of why I took them and what I see spiritually.

The pict to the right is one I like to call where you lead I will follow.  As the path gets out of view and the tree blocks the future I feel God is saying just take one step at a time and I will lead you.  Sometimes we tend to forget that we cant control anyone or thing but our selves and actions.  So today for me God was saying I will lead so start following.

As I walked around this morning I focused on the nature of God's creation.  The beauty and Majesty of the world in which we live.  The world that he plays so much a part in creating.  We tend to forget the creativity, majesty, and how much he cared about the details that we over them.  If he cared about helping a flower by creating pollen so that flowers would still grow despite our circumstances. WOW.  How beautiful the creator is!!  Yes, my favorite flower is the Dazy.  Dazys scream flower children from the 60's and 70's.  But I see the simplexity of it.  Its white pedals which to me represents the purity of life that God brings and the yellow center symbolizes how alive God is and the vitality that he brings to the earth.  He wants us to live with a center that is full of life.
Then I pan out and see the whole picture of dazies together and I cant help but to feel that God created groups of flowers flowing from one plant for a reason.  To show strength in numbers, to show how important each flower it to the bush.  Some flowers had broken pedals, others were clean and spotless, some were smaller, some were larger,  They were all different but grew from one plant base.  Wow to the concept of this Type of thinking.  When we pan out and see the bigger picture.  We see we are not alone.  We are among many others and God created us to work together to flow as one in unity with one purpose.  To glorify his name and to show others his wonderful works.

This picture screams peace to me.  Kentucky peace.  This is a place I just want to take my shoes of and enjoy the soft grass and enjoy the sound of the tree swaying back and forth.  Awesome and good for the troubled soul.  When u find your in a place of unrest and confusion get to a place of silence and he will speak.

This picture is of the statue in the far back which is names "Let there be light"  its looks a little weird but it was designed to be a place that Christians can go to have a place of silence and to here God.  Wow didnt know that till I was there and read about it and the purpose of bernheim.  When I sat at the top and just listened this is what I feel like God wanted to say.  "It was me who made the world, it was me who created the very ground you walk on, it was me who formed the clouds, it was me who made the sea, it was me who formed the mountains.  I am the one who spoke you into existence.  It was me who made all living things to work together to become part of something much bigger, much greater than anyone can ever imagine.  IT WAS ME!!!!!!!.  I am after you I made I know you.  I guide you and I direct you and I can see what you cant see.  I know what you dont know.  Im am the one who formed you in your mothers womb.  It was ME!!!!"


Then I looked out and this is a picture that i took and I feel it was one way to assure me that he sees the bigger picture and its amazing.

God is amazing and everything that he has created is a wondrous site.  I can see my self dancing before him in the grass with flags, banners, instruments, and I could go on.  Wow what a wonderful savior that would created such a beautiful place just for me and because someone listened to his voice and made this area a holy place, it blessed me this morning.

One more pict.  This one was of a tree of course duhhh.  but the reason I took this picture is to remind myself the he is vine, he is the main part of the tree and we are his branches.  We are to be an Extension of him.  We must be able to show others that we are Christ like because we are connected to the main line.


That means in words we speak, things we listen to, and the actions we take when the tough gets going.  We are accountable for every word we speak.  We like to use this when we are in tough situations to blast our enemy.  But if we read closer in the word it states for us NOT to delight when our enemy falls because the lord will have mercy on them.  So we must make sure that our hearts are clean from bitterness, anger, unforgivness, and any unclean thing,  the hardest things about our selves that we want to push away and hide. If we harbor those things this will make us die, like a branch that is no longer connected to the tree it falls and shrivels and dies because it has been cut off from the life source.  Those are the very things that when we need to give to God so we can truly walk in the freedom he has called us to walk in.  Not matter our position, calling, or whatever.  God has called us to live a life of Christ like behavior and To be accountable for everything we say, think, act, do or criticize.  We must make our hearts open to him and let go and let God be the victor and not the devil. Open your heart today and ask God what it is that is hindering your walk, what is getting in your way.  You might be surprised and what the answer will be.  Open the eyes of my heart that I might see you, lord.  Say that today right now.  Dont be afraid to show him what is deep inside and he will help you heal, make right, and cleanse the depths of your heart.

Point of View~ Who's are you looking through?

I have pondered, prayed, and listen to what to write in my next blog. For the last several weeks, months, and years I have been in a waiting period which I am still in. I feel like I have been silenced by God for the Restoration time.

Sometimes we can get caught up in doing good, speaking the truth, trying to help situations but in looking at a bigger scale of things we are indeed making them worse. I feel that God will bring to light the truth and we don't even have to do anything. Sometimes things happened to open the eyes of others. You can look at this in many ways. 1 view is too look from the outside looking in. I have heard from many outside parties stating wow Christians have a hard time forgiving and loving each other when it gets tough. Thats 1 reason I have heard from people not wanting to attend churches is because Christians bring an extra added Drama to the scene and many hurts occur in churches.

The apostles didnt follow each other for the very reason they couldnt get along with each other, thus the reason for so many different denominations. We all act on our own feelings and not what is on the heart of God. The real church lies with in each of us. The real church begins in our hearts. When are hearts are aligned with his then the body is in alignment as a whole. When we take our own self serving agendas out of things then we can truly walk in love and in the steps of the father. But that means we have to give total control to his will and to his way.

I have been a Christian since I was 6 at which time I was also filled with the Holy Spirit, so for 22 yrs I have sought after him. There were times I have sinned and screwed up royalty, there were times my pursuit was stronger and then there were times where I just existed. I have seen a lot from a very young age about churches. I have visited many types of denominations and have felt God in many of those different opinionated churches. One thing I have learned is that God exist despite what we do wrong. Things might not go as well but he still has his way.

Lately I have been really sad because its as if a very good thing has died. I am sad because of something that I held dear to me, something I spent almost everyday helping is gone. I look at what is no more and I stand in the spiritual rubble and look out at what is past all the hurts and pain and I see that God is calling us to a higher state of awareness of him. He dosent share his glory with any one. he wants our souls soo bad that he willing to let our fortress crumble to get our attention on him. He is willing to take everything we hold dear away from us so we can see our hearts and we can cleanse the very depths of our souls for the purpose, For a greater purpose. Something bigger is happening, its bigger than me, its bigger than you, its bigger than everyone, God is rising up for a battle that will belong to him, He is tired of all the little things we let get our focus off on him. He is tired of our ranting and ravings and he is saying LOOK TO ME, DOnt you know my Grace is sufficient for you. DOnt you Know MY LOVE for you is greater than your pain and HURTS. DOnt you know that I LOVE YOU. I DIED FOR YOU. NOTHING CAN TAKE THAT AWAY. MY PEOPLE see that I love you and that I will only have you. Nothing is BETTER THAN ME, NOTHING IS BIGGER THAN ME. Come and sit here at my table and dine with me. I love you and I am your Friend, Father, and anything you need.

WOW so with that said no one will take my joy, peace, and love for others. No one will steal what Only God can give me. Make the Temple(church) you and go and follow the steps he has layed out for you.

Restoration

Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore,Restore, Restore....

Are you willing to be a Nathan?

In doing some reading today I came across these passages in my bible. I have the John C Maxwell leadership bible so it has a lot of great little things about leaders in the bible and how to learn from the mistakes or the good things they did.

Anyways I love reading about Kind David. He seems to be a very diverse man and yet he is a man after God own heart. You see his constant bid with wanting to do the right thing and not always succeeding.

You read how God anointed him and chose him and he was the youngest and scroniest of the choices, but God chose him. It shows how God lead him to Kind Saul by playing a harp for him when he was troubles by a distressing Spirit of the Lord(1 Sam 16:7) yes it says a spirit of the Lord. but when he played his harp David was already annointed and God was with him so it soothed King Saul and the spirit would depart.

Then you see the relationship with Jonathan the kings son and David, they were the best of friends but in time they were torn apart due to the Envy and bitterness the King Saul had for David. You see that David would never dishonor King Saul because he was once the Lords anointed. In a sense he waited for the Lord to handle Kind Saul and didn't take his life. That is honor and trust in the Lord to be able to let the Lord take the reigns and handle it. Too often we do the opposite and kill what the Lord has put in place then things tend to get more of a mess than we can ever imagine.

You see several times how David did things that were very displeasing to the Lord but he also sought the Lord, Danced for the Lord, Worship the Lord with all his might.

After the killing of Urian Bathshebas husband the Lord came to Nathan One who was in the King David inner circle to speak the Truth to David. David listened and knew that the Lord was displeased. It says in 2 Sam 12:13 The lord put away Davids sins, but brought consequences to his house. We will always have to pay for the choices we make not matter what they are. One sin is really no different than another except that some hurt worse and affect more people than other sins do.

There is a blirb that says what it takes to survive a major failure:

1 An open and transparent heart
(it's easier to tolerate mistakes admitted than mistakes denied.)

2 A spirit of forgiveness toward followers
(A follower you treat with charity is more prone to forgive you when you are caught failing.)

3 A responsible attitude
(A leader who owns up to his or her behavior will last longer and fare better.)

4 The ability to change
(leaders must demonstrate they are humble and teachable and willing to grow or change.)

5 A hunger to grow and stretch
(followers will stay with a leader in process if he or she is moving in the right direction.)

When Nathan confronted David in 2 Samuel 12:1-15 he was speaking the truth in love. Its what David needed to be able to accept what he had done and to be able to move forward and not look back. Every one needs a person Like Nathan who listens to the Lord and will let you know the hardest things that you need right when you need to heard it.

Pray and hope that we become people who are after God's heart and desire him whole heartedly.

Are we willing to stick up for our friends that we are willing to deliver messages that are hard but are in love. Its a hard calling to be a Nathan, More than likely you will be deemed as a trouble maker, or hated for the moment but when it counts Nathans are the ones who stick like Glue when you need them the most. Hope this encourages some one today. I know that I need this on a daily basis to know that when I fall God Is encouraging me to get back up again.

Questions?

So many questions run through my mind. My mind is complex and is always thinking sorting and trying to figure out solutions. I love to make things right or to try and fix things. Being in the place of holding and silence I have come to realize that there are many different types of people in the world. God has made us all for specific purposes.

Some of us our teachers, preachers, evangelist, homemakers, peacemakers, justice advocates, intercessors,musicians, worshipers, and the list goes on and on.

When we are on the right path there will be temptations, struggles, wrong doing, hurtful accusations, and many trials and tribulations. When we choose to follow Christ a big target has been placed on our back by the devil. We are branded as Jesus Freaks. So we are more likely to face more adversity as Christians because we are now a threat to the darkness.

We must get back up again and we must pick back up the pieces because givening up is giving in to the plans of the enemy. I am speaking spiritually because they are life situations that you have to revert back the Keep and defend what you do have inorder not to loose it.

In my opionion honor is a big deal. Fighting for a cause and being brave despite the monsters and walls that are infront of you. Being not afraid to slay your enemy even you feel like its not your job.

We are all called to be warriors in our faith, To stand strong, But on the whole aromor of Christ and ride in honor for the sake of leading others to Christ. People are valuable and I want to be the one that does everything I can to help them. No matter what they look like, what they are, what they smell like, etc. It makes me mad when we as Christians worship the name of the Lord then go and make fun of others. Yes it may be all in fun, but what does the Lord see? Does he like it when you make fun of the very creation that he Created. When u make fun of the creation you make fun of the creator.

We are all called and all have very different duties. Dont give up thinking what your doing is not working, he has called you so its for a purpose. He needs you to stick like glue so that when it counts your faith never waivers.

Ride out to face your enemy and stare death in the eye,

Have you encountered a situation that makes all other things just seem not important. I have had many of those occasions lately. This is what I feel is happening and what God is saying.

In the Last days there will be wars and rumor of wars but stand stead fast and strong and put on Christ and Know that the battle is yours. Just when you think that all hope is lost. Ride out and meet your enemy face to face. Stare death in the eye and then look to the North and know that when the Lord steps in all the enemy will flee and fear the awesomeness of the Lord and his army of Hosts.

Dont waiver in your faith, snap back into reality and know that you know that the Lord will defend your honor. The Lord will defeat the enemy just when you need him to. This will be a testimony to your faith and to others about the power and strength that lies in the Lord. To God Be the Glory when the battle is won and over because its through him that we win the fight.

Dont give up, He will come just in the nick of time and all hope wont be lost.

I will play for you.

My mind has been filled with lots of thought and things lately. I have had many interesting moments where I do a lot of thinking.

Today is a very pivital or Big step for me. Here is a bit of a back ground. I have been playing my sax every Sunday and wed night ever since I was in the 8th grade. I played at the different churches I went to up until about 4 years ago, that is.

I know that this is gift that hes has given me because I never knew how to play the sax until I moved to ky in the 8th grade. I had some back ground in playing the violin which I started playing in the 4th grade. So music was in my blood. The funny thing is I don't listen to much music but I love to worship the father with all I have and especially with what he has gave to worship with. When I came to KY a couple of crazy things happened in my life and derailed me(pun intended if u know about the train accident that happened at my house in brooks) But when I came to New Vision I tried to get involved with music but for what ever reason it just didn't work out, I really feel it wasn't what he wanted me to do for that time. I started on the interpretive dance team WOW and was introduced to creative expressive dance through someone who had a passion to worship the Lord. I saw how to express my love, devotion, and creativity through dance and to know that GOd wants all of our praise, every bit of us, physically emotionally, spiritually and so on. Then I was asked to lead the Mime team and got an opportunity to minister in such an awesome way with my pastor, which brought a who new level of expression to me and my vocabulary of worship. Music, dance, mime, and who knows what will happen next. But God is continually showing me that worship is meant to be big, its meant to be all for him, Its meant to be creative. Its meant to be only to him. I am thankful for the people God has brought into my life each one of them means a great deal. I am sure that I am not a perfect person and that I have made some kind of mistakes along the way with them but in the end they are still in my life for a reason.

One thing I have learned is that worship has got to come from deep with in in order to be effective. U have to be able to sacrifice the things u want to do or be like in order to get to an abandoned place in worship with him. When KING David danced naked before everyone. He got lost in God. He danced with all his might, and didn't care that there would be scoffers, doubters, and those who would completely reject him even his wife. His love for worship started with him playing to his sheep with his harp. His music was anointed and came from deep love for God because it helped sooth the King Saul when his mind could find no peace. There is power in the music you here.

His passion started with playing music, then he became king and danced before the lord, he didn't care what others thought because his love for the Lord surpassed what they thought about him. If we didn't care what other think about us and we just worshiped with all we got and gave the praise due back the one who gave us our praise, how much more great would our praise be when we praised.

I have said all this to say. Today I am taking a step out to get back in the saddle of playing my saxophone in front of the church. Its something alot of people don't really know that I do. Buts its all a talent of God not mine I assure you. Its him prophetically flowing through me and he speaks to people when I obey him to play. I have been feeling like I should once again play for him. He is reminding me where I need to get back to in order to move forward. Sometimes we have to get a taste of why we praised like we did before because it reminds us of what we came out of and what he still wants us to be and where he wants us to go.

Tonight if u come to my church, yes I will be playing my sax but really its all him its all his doing and I am just opening my self up to take a step of faith and trust God that he will never lead me in the wrong direction.

Rock me, Move me, show me, ME!

Ok so this has been on my mind lately. Been able to see a lot of things lately through God opening my eyes.

here are some observations:

God is moving and he is about to do some really awesome things in his church and through his people. (His church meaning the body of christ not one particular church). He is fixing to do a new thing in and among his people, but only will do what is allowed by us, meaning what we allow him to do in our lives. He wont do more than what we allow him to do in us. Whic
H if u think about it, thats scary. If we only give him half of us he will only give us half of him.

I dont know about you but i want break through. I want all of him and more. Sittin and watching people i feel drawn to help them, Jesus's compassion consumes me i want to reach out help those in need or just need to be noticed. I want to truly serve people as if they r Jesus(in deed he in the people). If we served others as if they were Jesus how would that change our level of serving wow. That's huge!!!

We are so caught up in our selfish wants and needs that we truly forget who are supplier, provider, peacemaker, healer, etc is.

We dont see he wants all of us. Every part of our being, our pain, our hurt, EVERYTHING about us he wants us to surrender. can we really do that when we think there is no benefit to us?

can we surrender everything to him, let him rock us, move us, show us, every deep part of our soul that needs helps. Are we willing to see what he wants to show us?

This is my observation for now, He wants us to violently seek him, meaning passionately no matter what is going on in our lives.

We are always still in need of a savior. I hope this has made u think deeper about ur life as is has me. We all mess up, we all make mistakes, we all get hurt, but God is right there waiting for us when we need to be.

God bless! Dios te bendiga!

Mowin the grass & trimming the hedges

So today is mothers day and I decided that I couldn't put off mowing anymore. As I began to mow and trim the hedges, I began to realize that this is kinda of symbolic. God is awesome and he usues the little things to show me his will and what he is going to do in my life.

Anyways we have to be willing to do the work to trim our own spiritual hedges. In our spiritual lives we let many things get out of hand and grow outa control. Our minds eventually get cloudy, the weeds grow, the bushes overgrow and we wonder why we are where we are.

God is saying get out your spiritual hedge trimmers and trim your hedges. Mow down your field of weeds and vines that encompass your mind, they seek to squeeze your spiritual judgement and fulfillment. Clear out your gardens because there will be abundance coming and we need to make room.

Start trimming and make room cause something big is about to happen and breakthrough is just one hedge trimming away.

Put off the Ranger and Become who u were born to be?

I was thinking about this comment from a movie I was watching the other day. I have seen christian teachings on this before too but what I feel was being spoken to me was that many of us are wandering around and trying to fix all the other problems all the while we are not dealing with who we really are and who we need to become in Christ.

We choose other distractions for the purpose of getting our focus off who we need to be or who God's destiny has been designed for us to be. Some of us will be famous preachers, teachers, evangelist, missionaries, servants, servers to the needy, and many more. but many of us choose the more eaiser path, the path which costs us nothing or well what we think costs us nothing. Many people dont serve dont get involved in things because they dont want to pay a price. Whether its time, money, or our talents.

Where are you going? Is the path that costs you? Are you willing to pay the costs for the one that has paid HIS life for you?

Put off the Ranger and become who you were born to be!!!

About my Dear friend Chilo~Are u willing?

Have u ever met someone that you considered a dear friend that you had a common interests that connected you to them, u knew that it was destiny that you met them? I am not talking about a person like your spouse or loved one.

The saying that you would be offended when you find out how much people dont think about u always helps me to get real with my self and realize the hype of getting all worked up trying to make others like you really do sent matter.

Well in the case of a dear Friend I met while on a Missions trip in Mexico I felt this way about this man. (Meaning from the first paragraph not the second) He was a older fellow and the first time I met him we were going into the red light district in Ciudad Juarez to share the love of Jesus. Handing out food, water, cool cool aid, candy to the drug addicts, Nice bags filled with lady products to the ladies of the Night, Bibles, and just sharing the love of Jesus in the most Reality of circumstances. His heart was one of beauty for ashes, real love for others, friendship, u felt he really cared about others. Definitely one I would consider as a kindred spirit, he was a model example of a heart for others. I didn't know him other than on several of my missions trips to Mexico and that he was always trying to do things for others whether it was buying turkeys at thanksgiving or given water to thirty. He was simple not complex, no suit or ties, just real like those he ministered to. He is one I will never forget and one that has changed me. Even when I still think about him I will never forget the experiences of really sharing Jesus in the reality of where people are at. He wasn't a leader who got to speak in front of millions of people but one who lead by love of Jesus. I will never forget how he had these key chains made in honor of our time together so we would never forget that experience. I still have mine to this day it had been on my keys since the day he gave it too me. Always a giver who was infectious and made me want to give more.

Today I learned that he had passed away while doing trying to help someone else, a while back. My heart sank knowing that he wouldn't be able share his great love with anybody else. But he paid the ultimate price and layed down his life with out hesitation I am sure. Once again my friend has gave me hope even after he is long gone. A martyr for Justice and a friend to lowest, and the love of Jesus he shared with many.

So when you meet someone never think that just because you meat them and now they are out of your life that they really ever leave a part of who you are. The things we do, trails we face, people we meet, and the life we lead all make us who we are.

Questions I have asked myself today. Am I willing to lay down my life to save someone elses? Am I will to see with Jesus's eyes? Am I willing to go where others are at to love them with a great love?

Am I willing? Are you willing?

RIP My Dear Friend Chilo
My heart is sad today as I know that no one will see your passion for the hurting and the lost anymore. But I know one thing and that is I pray that those you have touched will remember u just when they need the hope to survive.

I will move you, I will guide you!

You might be thinking a trip to Kroger. How can that be a life changing experience. Well let me explain my thoughts on it. First, for me it was a chance for a little quiet time to my self. Yes I am in desperation of little trips that get me to a quiet place where I can think, dwell, pray and even just sit with out a kid jumping on my head or calling my name, etc. I love those things and when I come home I actually love the pitter patter of the little feet running toward me to welcome me home. So yes Mini vacations I like to call them help me a great deal. So on the way to Kroger I was just thinking about the events of the day. I remember people twittering about how much they were blessed and refreshed at church, how such a great day it was for everyone, blah blah as all thoughts started to jumble up in my head. Don't get me wrong I love seeing others blessed beyond measure and seeing God move. I love being a part of it and being able to help that goal get accomplished. But as I start to realize that I myself have gotten to a state where I feel over whelmed, tired, frustrated, etc etc for no reason really at all to say that my spiritual meter is running low. I read the bible, listen to worship music, watch sermons, but it just seems so hard to connect that I feel Like I am no use to anyone and I am just a walking shell. If that Make sense. I feel like I am going 100 miles a minute as if to only soon it will come to a crashing halt when everything gives in. I feel spiritually dry, like I am constantly looking for more and more water but continually thirsting for more and more and more.

I have been reading this book along with devotion time, by John C. Maxwell its about how everyone communicates but few connect. Its really good and actually has helped me to see somethings I need to continually work on for sure. Great Leadership and communications expert.

Even with this I feel like I am still kind of living in a spiritual daze. I love challenges, tasks, having responsibility, & just being where he has me, but in all that I am still not satisfied. I asked my self God did I pray never to be satisfied and to make me want more and more cause this is where I am at right now. I need u like I once knew you. I need you. I love the song by Dc talk form a long time ago that states I am still a man in need of a savior, because that is exactly how I feel. God why am I here, please let me know. So my mind will settle and I can rest in you. Lord help me and keep me and guide me into your arms. I need you I need you I need you to lift me higher. I need you to fill me. What about me? Don't forget I am longing after you. Move me, fill me, rock my socks off!!

All that said and yes I can say a lot, but bear with me. Yeah this ride helped me to clear my head and to also hear his still small voice saying. I lead u here, I got this. Its only a matter of time. (this has been show to me about a year ago a lady spoke to me about a hour glass, that's all she had to say) God's says it only a matter of time and I will make my move. I will move you, I will guide you.

Yes I am still in the state of wanting more, hanging on by a thread, and a very thin line. Even though I am just hanging, I can see its a short rope and he will pull me up the rest of the way:) Keep hanging and he will keep holding and lifting.

Broken Boldness!!!!

Broken what does that mean in terms of spiritually and deep things with God. For one, it means that we r laid out before God meaning that all of our sins, mess ups,and imperfections Are laid out on the table before God. Saying to him here is all my ugliness and selfishness and what I want, but please correct me and make me right. Check my motives, check my desires, check my wants and correct them so that they shine before you and that I become as bold as a lion and do and say the things that you want me to say, that you show me the things that I should do. lord take all the cares of this world off and lead me to where you want me to be. I don't care what anyone thinks or what anyone says cause if i follow you, lord you will never leave or forsake me. You will never lead me astray. Take me to a place where u can mold me once again to be broken as lamb but bold as a lion. Lord, help me to fight for you,help me to stand when everyone else sits. Lead me to my destiny in you, cause you are all I want you are all I need. You died for me so that I could live eternally with you. Guide me, lead me, and secure my life as your daughter, as your maid servant, as your warrioress. Broken boldness~that's where I want to be. To be used by you, Oh Lord.

This is my heart, this is my cry!!

Wondering if the words that I am about to speak will be heard by those who need to hear them?  But I feel like I need to share what I feel needs to be dealt with.

Here this goes and I pray that the words in my blog are what you want to be heard!

Lord, you know and see the hearts of your people.  Lord that you would reveal yourself and you would reveal the inner most struggles of each and every person reading my blog.  You see their hearts and you know what they choose to hind and never reveal.  Lord I pray that you would bring all the to the light and that you would show them that you know and see every feeling they have and you are the forgiver of everything.  Your love is endless.

Please let them see that every mask they have and every hiding dark spot in their life is brought to the surface and then cleansed by your precious blood and forgiveness.

Please let those who are Christians, those in high places, those who are the servants of your kingdom,  seek a deeper meaning of you.  That you can reveal the things that no one else can know.  Lord please show them who you are and help them to give up everything and lay it at your feet, never to pick it up again.  Lord you and only you can heal and guide and protect them.  Only you can take away the bitterness and pride they have.  Only you can heal the broken relationships and the past of your people.


Lord help them to see your face, to shine in your glory as Moses did on the mountain.  Lord help us to not be satisfied till we have you and till we realize that every part of us you already know and what we have in our hearts.  Help us not to hide in the darkness, behind all the masks of self righteous, pride, anger, bitterness, etc etc.  Help us to see that we are still men and women in need of a savior everyday. Lord revel you to us, reveal your love, reveal your mercy.



This is my heart this is my cry.

Pupose placed Meetings

I was thinking about how we always complain God why r you not using me?  God I know that I am suppose to do this ministry so why am I not doing it? 


We are so focused on what we want to do, what are agenda makes time for that we forget that our focuse has to be on him the whole time.  We need to redirect our focus to the father and let our steps be God led lead.  No matter the path we take there is always a reason for it, for who we meet there is a purpose.  Its called being aware of others and what God is telling us to say to them.  Its not always a salvation need situation.  It maybe that we are suppose to smile and greet them with kind words.  For instance walmart cashiers on a busy day are just filled with tentions.  Sometimes its just us greeting them with a smile and saying thanks for your help today.  Have a great day!  Verbal affirmation can change the atmosphere in an instant.  That goes with negative verbal words too. 

Trusting God and being open to ministry opps no matter where we are is a step of faith.  Getting caught up in our day to day routines and life's trails and instances gets our focus off the father and what he has for us and for those we meet.  Everyday its important that we wake and say God Lead me and show me what it is I need to do today.  I feel every day is an assignment form him.  That we have divine appointments and opps to be witnesses for him,  By our actions, by the words we speak,  The things we say.


With all this said and I am sure that I can say more but God is just wanting us to be open to what he has for us and for opps to be his light in a strangers darkness. 

Prepare Ye the way

So while this is what I received this afternoon as I was praying and waiting on the Lord.  it flowed with no stoping.

Prepare ye the way for me.  I will come like a theif in the night. prepare ye the way for me. When you wake one will be taken and one will be left.   I am a strong tower which will devor every  enemy that is in the path of the righteous, your path.  Prepare ye the way.  Do not look to left or the right but look to the heavens, look to the light.  Take off the glasses of darkness, the glasses which block the light.  Let the light, let me penetrate your soul or will you fade like the flower fades at the end of spring.  Choose to up root and follow me, Follow me, Only me.  Listen only to me, Guard yourself & gerd up your selves witht eh full armor of God, the time for Battle has come, These days are numbered as my countdown has already begun Follow me, search me, yearn for me, watch for me, while doing so most importantly Share me, give yourself for me and cast away earthly possessions and wordly cares to reach others for me.  For my time is at hand, look to me!



This is something I feel like I was suppose to post that the Lord had given to me.  Hope this helps, motivates, and gives confirmation to someone waiting on the Lord.  The time is now lets share him with the world because time is drawing near.  Its about seeing souls come into the kingdom, these are the last days,  Find your God given way to reach the lost for the Lord. Its your time to reflect the light, reflect him all over the world.

How u DO love & what does it say about you?

Love is in the air as we embark on the Journey of Valentines of 2010.  The 1 day that it is said you need to show you love this way, with some roses, choclates, stuffed animals with silly sayings and hearts on them.  Not saying that those are not fun to receive but thinking more on along the lines of how as Christians we tend to say we love others, love knows no ends, love, love love,   But we dont take time to see what Love is really about and what love says about you? 

How do u in your personal daily walk love others? 

What steps do you walk and does those steps speak of love?  

Love is more than a heart filled choclate box, it is more than a vase full of roses.  Love simply says I give up what I want, what I would like to have, anything about me, for the sake of  YOU. 

God gave his ONLY son to die on the cross for US.   This is what love is.

Its not shelfish, wanting, attaching, prideful, haughty, envious, and so on.  1 Corinthains chapter 13 tells us what love really is and how to show it.  My question is why dont we do it they way it is suppose to be done. 

Why dont we love our families and others more than life and more importantly MORE than our selves.
Why do we only love when it is a benefit to our selves, why do we only love when there is no cost or price to love.  Love is about helping others, serving others, & living for others,  We have to truley become more about love, more love Lord, more Love, More of you in my life, More Love, More of you in my life. 

So what is Love and what does how you DO love say about you.   Happy Valentines Day, my Friends and remember think out side the box, love selflessly, and love often, and love Big.