Eyes of the father, my bridegroom

How do you see with your eyes?  What kind of Filter do you see through?  What is your purpose?  Do you believe it?  Are you confident in it? 

So the last few days have been a time of totally getting into the presence of God.  Started with Eddie James and his team.  Of course I got blessed and all the while I heard spoke over me, more of his anointing, fire lord, more more more.  This was at Eddie James prayer line.  Then the next night which was friday when the lady who was praying the conference prayed over me it was almost around 10:20pm.  But her message was the same, more anointing, more fire, more more more more. 

So why this is soooo significant is that I have been in the desert place for quite sometime now, wondering and hoping and praying why cant I feel what God had for me, I don't I feel the fire, I wanted it and I sooo desired it.  The connect and change prob started a few weekends ago at another women conference where I felt some literally hindrances break off me.  Then to walk into the last 2 days open and ready to Take on the bride of Christ that I was ment to be. I was positioned divinely, not only have I been filled to a greater capacity I feel that I now have a new heart and its his heart. 

There were two examples of what I believe Gods heart is and why I feel like I have it.  First time was at eddie james.  I saw a young man and I was burden with his soul and the bondage that I could see on his life.  Intercession began and Gods heart was desperate for this young mans heart to be his.  He was like a stone, no facial expressions, His face was a solid rock in the midst of crying, jumping, worshiping, and freedom, He was sooo greatly bound.  I saw him standing there and it really scared me to see a young man that so purposly choose not to want to change and it looked as if would rather be bound.  My prayer and intercession has reached new levels which in praying for him...   This story I hope to find out will be a great one once his heart belongs to the lord.  Its a war people, if we thinks its not we are grealty mistaken. We need to war after souls. 

Number 2 encounter actually happened with a lady we will call Judy.  Judy was a woman I met all because a friend decided she wanted to go to a christian bookstore that was never where we had lunch.  I was reluctant at first but then decided ok why not walk over there.  At that time I never knew that this walk was for Judy.  So we looked around the christian book store for a bit and then when it came time to leave there was Judy. A lady who looked weathered, tired, and a little discombobulated.  She walked out before we left.  A few minutes went buy as we were walking out of the store and on to side walk.  Judy was showing a shirt she purchased from a christian bookstore to a gentlemen I assume she knew and who I felt was being not so nice to her, that a nice way of saying it.  When I saw the hurt in her eyes and something in me jumped, what I walked into felt I needed to do something.  We continued to walk until we came around the corner so I could look back at Judy as now she was sitting in a passenger side seat and the man what now at her door talking to her but facing with his but in her face.  First of all when I see a man abuse a women it makes me really flare up, whethers its mental, physical, or spiritual abuse I get heated.  So My friend and I talked about it and we felt the same way so she said lets go pray for her.  As we approached her window and asked to pray with her you could see the hurt and sadness in her eyes.  We prayed for her and the first thing she said was you don't know how much that ment to me. you will never know.  She said I was a spirit filled christian who use to be in church but backslid,  she said I know that he is there for me. I know that I left him and he didn't leave me.  Wow, she was struggling and a mess and she knew the root of it.  It seems that sometimes we just need to her from our own lips what we have know down inside for a long time. This was the walk for Judy.  Maybe the one glace I gave her or my friend gave her was a divine appoint to see a hurting people.  Taking ministry to the streets and just being an open vessel at any moment and be willing and open to see with the heart of God. 

Obedience and doing what we Gods heart says is one of the most wonderful feelings.  Today I gave a word in the womens meeting.  To be honest I feel like it was hard word.  maybe not a popular one of everything is going to be ok, life is peachy, or even an encouraging one.  It was a call of obedience a call of wanting an wooing the heart of his people.  It was the king calling for his Bride.  I am not sure who heard it, or who listened to it because I was soo heavy, God was in the room and he wanted willing vessels to be used and to dance and glory in his presence.  In some ways I question that I must have gave the wrong one because it was a heavy one.  No claping and joyous outburst, but it was a plea for us to dance deeper with him.  To take the steps of seeing and taking our purpose as the bride of christ.  Yes an awakening but our main purpose was we were created to be a pleasing and blessing to the Lord.  We were created because he wanted a person and being that would desire him even they r given the choice for something else.  He wants us to glory and bask int he presence of the creator the author of life.  oh how he loves me. 

I dont know if those who heard it understood what he wanted,  He wanted more more more more and a deepness and I could have stayed there for a long time just sitting in his presence.  Once we get closer to the heart of the bridegroom, the father and see as he sees.  its a beautiful love dance for our souls.  He is dancing in hope that we will answer back. 

Under HIS Wing!!!

This last weekend has been a life changing time for me.  Many may not understand but something clicked in me.  I think that I was at the point in my life that I was angry inside and I felt so distant from God.  We all have ups and down in Christianity but its how we handle it that matters in the difference in our attitudes and our walk.

Our walk with Christ should be one continual victory,  not victim mentality, who is me, look at me I have been through soo much.  Yes we should speak on our testimony and share that but the glory should not be in the testimony circumstances but in the one who brought you out of it.  So yes there is a difference about freedom and living as the Bride of Christ, which is true freedom.

So a lot has happened in the past several weeks with me.  Yes there was some church hurt left overs but personally my family has be stretched to its limits with owning 2 houses and some others things along with that.  One thing that I have learned is that life isn't about how sad I am but its about walking as the Bride of Christ.

Yes I keep saying the Bride of Christ and many people don't want to equate intimate thoughts with Jesus.  But this is what I mean.  Once we accept that Jesus offered his life freely to us at his first communion he extended the cup as a representation of him, some may not realize that this in Jewish customs was done when a groom offers the cup to his potential bride.  The groom negotiates a high price for her and then he extends the cup to her and if she drinks of it then its her way of accepting his love and that she is free to know that she is secure in his love.

Do we as a christian believing people really believe and accept the freedom that his love gave us.  He did it freely, so there wasn't really a price to be paid,  it was act of love, which means there is no obligation for us to have to serve him because he gave his life.  We should serve him because we desire to love him and we desire him and because we want to.  We we totally accept and become vulnerable that under the shadow of his wing is where we are safe in his love,  There is a protection, security that that brings.

I know that I am loved by him, I am his Bride and I am truly free to live to walk in victory knowing that whatever comes my way God will defend because under his wings I am safe and secure and he is my refuge.

Churches have caught the wave of all the free and freedom songs that can be sung in church are.  But do we really understand what free means??

Here are some definitions that I find interesting considering they didn't come from a spiritual place or book but from a regular dictionary off the internet.

unconfined: free expansion Not fixed in position; capable of relatively unrestricted motion,Not bound, fastened, or attached .Given, made, or done of one's own accord; voluntary or spontaneous,Unconstrained; Costing nothing; gratuitous,Unobstructed,Unguarded in expression or manner; open; frankTaking undue liberties; forward or overfamiliar. Not imprisoned or enslaved; being at liberty,Not controlled by obligation or the will of another,Not subject to a given condition exempt unconstrained,free or remove obstruction from,not held in servitude,absolve: let off the hook,release....grant freedom 2; free from confinement,dislodge: remove,able to act at will; not hampered; not under compulsion or restrain

I want you to ponder those definitions for a minute and see if those change your perspective of free and what it means.

Jesus free gave his life for us to be unconfined, unrestricted, not bound, unobstructed, not imprisoned or enslaved, not controlled by obligation not held in servitude, absolve, released, granted freedom.  Wow this really enlightens me to see that there is soo much security in knowing that when I truly accept that he is my groom that he will take care of me, he will protect me, I don't have to worry, I don't even have to repay, that he is not expecting that I do the same, but he desires that I love him and give back to him because I want to do it because of his love not to get anything in return or out of obligation but out of love.

A whole new concept.  This even equates into our relationships.  I don't want friends who feel obligated to, or just because, or feel guilty I want friends to be around because they want to.  

To walk in freedom of accepting the love that he has for us and what it really means is a whole new thing, its something many don't understand.  Yes we accept Jesus in our hearts and we love him and he has changed us but we don't see what he is really saying when it comes to the love he has for us,

Oh how he loves us, oh how he loves us.!!!!!!

Under his wings I will be, under his wing I will scaled the mountains, under his wing i will slay the enemy, under his wing will I abide, I am secure I am loved under his wing is where I want to be,