I will play for you.

My mind has been filled with lots of thought and things lately. I have had many interesting moments where I do a lot of thinking.

Today is a very pivital or Big step for me. Here is a bit of a back ground. I have been playing my sax every Sunday and wed night ever since I was in the 8th grade. I played at the different churches I went to up until about 4 years ago, that is.

I know that this is gift that hes has given me because I never knew how to play the sax until I moved to ky in the 8th grade. I had some back ground in playing the violin which I started playing in the 4th grade. So music was in my blood. The funny thing is I don't listen to much music but I love to worship the father with all I have and especially with what he has gave to worship with. When I came to KY a couple of crazy things happened in my life and derailed me(pun intended if u know about the train accident that happened at my house in brooks) But when I came to New Vision I tried to get involved with music but for what ever reason it just didn't work out, I really feel it wasn't what he wanted me to do for that time. I started on the interpretive dance team WOW and was introduced to creative expressive dance through someone who had a passion to worship the Lord. I saw how to express my love, devotion, and creativity through dance and to know that GOd wants all of our praise, every bit of us, physically emotionally, spiritually and so on. Then I was asked to lead the Mime team and got an opportunity to minister in such an awesome way with my pastor, which brought a who new level of expression to me and my vocabulary of worship. Music, dance, mime, and who knows what will happen next. But God is continually showing me that worship is meant to be big, its meant to be all for him, Its meant to be creative. Its meant to be only to him. I am thankful for the people God has brought into my life each one of them means a great deal. I am sure that I am not a perfect person and that I have made some kind of mistakes along the way with them but in the end they are still in my life for a reason.

One thing I have learned is that worship has got to come from deep with in in order to be effective. U have to be able to sacrifice the things u want to do or be like in order to get to an abandoned place in worship with him. When KING David danced naked before everyone. He got lost in God. He danced with all his might, and didn't care that there would be scoffers, doubters, and those who would completely reject him even his wife. His love for worship started with him playing to his sheep with his harp. His music was anointed and came from deep love for God because it helped sooth the King Saul when his mind could find no peace. There is power in the music you here.

His passion started with playing music, then he became king and danced before the lord, he didn't care what others thought because his love for the Lord surpassed what they thought about him. If we didn't care what other think about us and we just worshiped with all we got and gave the praise due back the one who gave us our praise, how much more great would our praise be when we praised.

I have said all this to say. Today I am taking a step out to get back in the saddle of playing my saxophone in front of the church. Its something alot of people don't really know that I do. Buts its all a talent of God not mine I assure you. Its him prophetically flowing through me and he speaks to people when I obey him to play. I have been feeling like I should once again play for him. He is reminding me where I need to get back to in order to move forward. Sometimes we have to get a taste of why we praised like we did before because it reminds us of what we came out of and what he still wants us to be and where he wants us to go.

Tonight if u come to my church, yes I will be playing my sax but really its all him its all his doing and I am just opening my self up to take a step of faith and trust God that he will never lead me in the wrong direction.

Rock me, Move me, show me, ME!

Ok so this has been on my mind lately. Been able to see a lot of things lately through God opening my eyes.

here are some observations:

God is moving and he is about to do some really awesome things in his church and through his people. (His church meaning the body of christ not one particular church). He is fixing to do a new thing in and among his people, but only will do what is allowed by us, meaning what we allow him to do in our lives. He wont do more than what we allow him to do in us. Whic
H if u think about it, thats scary. If we only give him half of us he will only give us half of him.

I dont know about you but i want break through. I want all of him and more. Sittin and watching people i feel drawn to help them, Jesus's compassion consumes me i want to reach out help those in need or just need to be noticed. I want to truly serve people as if they r Jesus(in deed he in the people). If we served others as if they were Jesus how would that change our level of serving wow. That's huge!!!

We are so caught up in our selfish wants and needs that we truly forget who are supplier, provider, peacemaker, healer, etc is.

We dont see he wants all of us. Every part of our being, our pain, our hurt, EVERYTHING about us he wants us to surrender. can we really do that when we think there is no benefit to us?

can we surrender everything to him, let him rock us, move us, show us, every deep part of our soul that needs helps. Are we willing to see what he wants to show us?

This is my observation for now, He wants us to violently seek him, meaning passionately no matter what is going on in our lives.

We are always still in need of a savior. I hope this has made u think deeper about ur life as is has me. We all mess up, we all make mistakes, we all get hurt, but God is right there waiting for us when we need to be.

God bless! Dios te bendiga!

Mowin the grass & trimming the hedges

So today is mothers day and I decided that I couldn't put off mowing anymore. As I began to mow and trim the hedges, I began to realize that this is kinda of symbolic. God is awesome and he usues the little things to show me his will and what he is going to do in my life.

Anyways we have to be willing to do the work to trim our own spiritual hedges. In our spiritual lives we let many things get out of hand and grow outa control. Our minds eventually get cloudy, the weeds grow, the bushes overgrow and we wonder why we are where we are.

God is saying get out your spiritual hedge trimmers and trim your hedges. Mow down your field of weeds and vines that encompass your mind, they seek to squeeze your spiritual judgement and fulfillment. Clear out your gardens because there will be abundance coming and we need to make room.

Start trimming and make room cause something big is about to happen and breakthrough is just one hedge trimming away.

Put off the Ranger and Become who u were born to be?

I was thinking about this comment from a movie I was watching the other day. I have seen christian teachings on this before too but what I feel was being spoken to me was that many of us are wandering around and trying to fix all the other problems all the while we are not dealing with who we really are and who we need to become in Christ.

We choose other distractions for the purpose of getting our focus off who we need to be or who God's destiny has been designed for us to be. Some of us will be famous preachers, teachers, evangelist, missionaries, servants, servers to the needy, and many more. but many of us choose the more eaiser path, the path which costs us nothing or well what we think costs us nothing. Many people dont serve dont get involved in things because they dont want to pay a price. Whether its time, money, or our talents.

Where are you going? Is the path that costs you? Are you willing to pay the costs for the one that has paid HIS life for you?

Put off the Ranger and become who you were born to be!!!

About my Dear friend Chilo~Are u willing?

Have u ever met someone that you considered a dear friend that you had a common interests that connected you to them, u knew that it was destiny that you met them? I am not talking about a person like your spouse or loved one.

The saying that you would be offended when you find out how much people dont think about u always helps me to get real with my self and realize the hype of getting all worked up trying to make others like you really do sent matter.

Well in the case of a dear Friend I met while on a Missions trip in Mexico I felt this way about this man. (Meaning from the first paragraph not the second) He was a older fellow and the first time I met him we were going into the red light district in Ciudad Juarez to share the love of Jesus. Handing out food, water, cool cool aid, candy to the drug addicts, Nice bags filled with lady products to the ladies of the Night, Bibles, and just sharing the love of Jesus in the most Reality of circumstances. His heart was one of beauty for ashes, real love for others, friendship, u felt he really cared about others. Definitely one I would consider as a kindred spirit, he was a model example of a heart for others. I didn't know him other than on several of my missions trips to Mexico and that he was always trying to do things for others whether it was buying turkeys at thanksgiving or given water to thirty. He was simple not complex, no suit or ties, just real like those he ministered to. He is one I will never forget and one that has changed me. Even when I still think about him I will never forget the experiences of really sharing Jesus in the reality of where people are at. He wasn't a leader who got to speak in front of millions of people but one who lead by love of Jesus. I will never forget how he had these key chains made in honor of our time together so we would never forget that experience. I still have mine to this day it had been on my keys since the day he gave it too me. Always a giver who was infectious and made me want to give more.

Today I learned that he had passed away while doing trying to help someone else, a while back. My heart sank knowing that he wouldn't be able share his great love with anybody else. But he paid the ultimate price and layed down his life with out hesitation I am sure. Once again my friend has gave me hope even after he is long gone. A martyr for Justice and a friend to lowest, and the love of Jesus he shared with many.

So when you meet someone never think that just because you meat them and now they are out of your life that they really ever leave a part of who you are. The things we do, trails we face, people we meet, and the life we lead all make us who we are.

Questions I have asked myself today. Am I willing to lay down my life to save someone elses? Am I will to see with Jesus's eyes? Am I willing to go where others are at to love them with a great love?

Am I willing? Are you willing?

RIP My Dear Friend Chilo
My heart is sad today as I know that no one will see your passion for the hurting and the lost anymore. But I know one thing and that is I pray that those you have touched will remember u just when they need the hope to survive.

I will move you, I will guide you!

You might be thinking a trip to Kroger. How can that be a life changing experience. Well let me explain my thoughts on it. First, for me it was a chance for a little quiet time to my self. Yes I am in desperation of little trips that get me to a quiet place where I can think, dwell, pray and even just sit with out a kid jumping on my head or calling my name, etc. I love those things and when I come home I actually love the pitter patter of the little feet running toward me to welcome me home. So yes Mini vacations I like to call them help me a great deal. So on the way to Kroger I was just thinking about the events of the day. I remember people twittering about how much they were blessed and refreshed at church, how such a great day it was for everyone, blah blah as all thoughts started to jumble up in my head. Don't get me wrong I love seeing others blessed beyond measure and seeing God move. I love being a part of it and being able to help that goal get accomplished. But as I start to realize that I myself have gotten to a state where I feel over whelmed, tired, frustrated, etc etc for no reason really at all to say that my spiritual meter is running low. I read the bible, listen to worship music, watch sermons, but it just seems so hard to connect that I feel Like I am no use to anyone and I am just a walking shell. If that Make sense. I feel like I am going 100 miles a minute as if to only soon it will come to a crashing halt when everything gives in. I feel spiritually dry, like I am constantly looking for more and more water but continually thirsting for more and more and more.

I have been reading this book along with devotion time, by John C. Maxwell its about how everyone communicates but few connect. Its really good and actually has helped me to see somethings I need to continually work on for sure. Great Leadership and communications expert.

Even with this I feel like I am still kind of living in a spiritual daze. I love challenges, tasks, having responsibility, & just being where he has me, but in all that I am still not satisfied. I asked my self God did I pray never to be satisfied and to make me want more and more cause this is where I am at right now. I need u like I once knew you. I need you. I love the song by Dc talk form a long time ago that states I am still a man in need of a savior, because that is exactly how I feel. God why am I here, please let me know. So my mind will settle and I can rest in you. Lord help me and keep me and guide me into your arms. I need you I need you I need you to lift me higher. I need you to fill me. What about me? Don't forget I am longing after you. Move me, fill me, rock my socks off!!

All that said and yes I can say a lot, but bear with me. Yeah this ride helped me to clear my head and to also hear his still small voice saying. I lead u here, I got this. Its only a matter of time. (this has been show to me about a year ago a lady spoke to me about a hour glass, that's all she had to say) God's says it only a matter of time and I will make my move. I will move you, I will guide you.

Yes I am still in the state of wanting more, hanging on by a thread, and a very thin line. Even though I am just hanging, I can see its a short rope and he will pull me up the rest of the way:) Keep hanging and he will keep holding and lifting.

Broken Boldness!!!!

Broken what does that mean in terms of spiritually and deep things with God. For one, it means that we r laid out before God meaning that all of our sins, mess ups,and imperfections Are laid out on the table before God. Saying to him here is all my ugliness and selfishness and what I want, but please correct me and make me right. Check my motives, check my desires, check my wants and correct them so that they shine before you and that I become as bold as a lion and do and say the things that you want me to say, that you show me the things that I should do. lord take all the cares of this world off and lead me to where you want me to be. I don't care what anyone thinks or what anyone says cause if i follow you, lord you will never leave or forsake me. You will never lead me astray. Take me to a place where u can mold me once again to be broken as lamb but bold as a lion. Lord, help me to fight for you,help me to stand when everyone else sits. Lead me to my destiny in you, cause you are all I want you are all I need. You died for me so that I could live eternally with you. Guide me, lead me, and secure my life as your daughter, as your maid servant, as your warrioress. Broken boldness~that's where I want to be. To be used by you, Oh Lord.