Sunday Testimony!

My familiy and I are currently going to New Vision Ministry Center. Last Sunday was such an awesome experience that I will never forget.

I know that people never want to admitt what we need to work on. Like if its our attitudes or whatever.

I have pretty much been saved all my life, since I was 6, I was filled with the holy spirit and spoke in toungues around that time too. I have been witnessing and sharing with others ever since I was young. My family always reading the bible together every night. So you can say that I have been with God for a long time, But even though I had all that, I dont think that I had a true relationship with God until I was about in the 9th grade. But something happend to me when I was in high school that made me turn and run away from God. I met this boy that was good at first but he ended up being no so great. He turned from God himself and became and very mean and controling boyfriend. One thing that I read was that young girls go though a time where they start their self esteem over when they become a teenager. That is the truth for sure. That boy emotionally abused me, I was constantly told that I was trash, or squashable like a bug, or no good. I began to believe this, even though that I would not admitt this to any one. He did not respect me at all. There were times that I was physically abused by that same boy. I was slammed against the wall and no one cared, not even the teacher. After approx 2 years of living under this control and negative influence, needless to say I was pretty messed up. I was angry and alone.

I didnt have any friends because I didnt want to hear I told you so's. I didnt feel like I had anyone to tell this too because when you have gone through different situations the last thing you need to hear from someone is I told you so's. I was very emotionally unstable and I didnt trust anyone,

I was set free from the relationship and did get back to church, but not until last sunday after 9 years of thinking that I was over this did I realize that I wasnt. I still believe that I wasnt worth anything or no one likes me. I just know that the words that we speak to others can never be taken back and once we say something it could have a great impact over the rest of our lives. without Gods help true healing cannot take place.

I would like to say that sunday I was emotionally healed and that what I held on to for so long and that was pushed deep in side my sould was brougt to the surface and was finally over. When I heared the message on sunday I saw things in my own heart and soul that I knew that this message was for me. Before I was at the alter I knew that I had to go up there. I knew God said that this was for you. It was for me. Thanks for New Vision Ministry center in Louisville.

I know kow that I have a passion for young girls and teens in general to know that the choices that they do now could affect them forever. When I see young girls in this kind of emotional stress I see their pain, I feel it so strong. No matter how strong with think we are and how close we might feel that we dont have to read the bible or worship God or to be in his presence that isnt true. we must every day choose to love and be with him, we must choose it every day to take up the banner and run a marathon for his name sake.

No matter how great your relationship is with God it dosent matter. we must daily train ourselves and never stop. we have to take a look deep within and heal those hurting places in our hearts. we must admit our failures and our pains and give them to God.

Just give everything over to the lord and know that he is your only source of strength and that he only can be the one to heal all your pain and your inner most thoughts and struggles.

The Unexpected

In dealing with the unexpected death of a dear friend and xco-worker. I found my self giving into my feelings of the purpose of life. I asked God what is the purpose of life if we all are going to die, and no one will remember us and people will continue on and no one will remember. I realized that I was going over in to deeper waters of a slight depression. But I started to change my attitude when I was reminded that our life is no about this physical body,its about what we do for jesus and what we give back to him for letting us live to the point that we are at. Without his mercy, love, and forgivenss we all would have parrished a long time ago. I am blessed to be alive and live for the amount of time that I have so far. I often think about the two miscarriages that I lost, my babies that I never got to physically hold, I think about how one of them was with me during a awesome mission trip to Mexico and how they got to feel Jesus moving through me and touching others. That was all they needed to know that they wanted to be with him forever. Wow I think about getting to heaven a meeting my babies for the first time, they will be there to great me and that is all the reconigition that I need for this earth. My welcome home party is what I like to call it.

Death is something that will come to all of us, some sooner than others, but God's plan for our lives is much bigger than we can ever imagine. You never know the people that you will touch just by your everday walk and talk with God.

So all in all, Jesus took it all and nothing I experience will ever comepare to his sacrific and that my feelings are not what motivates me. Its seeing my babies in heaven one day and getting others to see them with me. So whatever that cost will be I will serve his name. Jesus the name above all names.

Ok I am done, I could talk and preach, and teach all day.

Ryder is so funny, he was so cute trying to eat these and gagging at the same time, at least he tried to eat them. He was a trooper:)

Who cares what others think, I will be what God has made me!

Some times I get down and out and feel just really like crap. Then I remember that I was made in the image of God and that when someone talks about me and or puts me down or is negative to me that they are being that way to God, since I was made in his image. If I do that to others I am also doing that to do God, so with that in mind I try to focus and remember that God made everyone for a reason and no matter what we may think or feel about them he has his reasons, By us being able to forgive wrongs that are done to us, can create such a sweet frangrance of love for that person who was the one that had done something is amazing. God's love is endless and is mercyful and knows no boundaries. One sin is that same as another, One thing that God taught me when I was in Mexico ministering at the prision out side of Ciudad Juarez, was that even though I was in the presence of gang members, murders, theifts, and sexual offenders and God knows whatever else. That their sins where no different in the eyes of God than mine. I found my self being able to see them as people and friends of God and men of God inside this prision. They were the most loving and forgiving people that I ever met. It was amazing to here the stories and testmonies of these men, God is really an awesome God and only he can forgive the way that he does. I hope that In my life with God's help I can be forgiving and mercyful as him. God Bless all and know that no matter what, God Forgives and loves you. Take care!

The Boys!

Dominic at the Zoo, his favorite place.
Ryder going alone for the ride:)
Get this out of my face mom.
Brothers!
This is some good food, mushy though, but gooood.

Whats been happening on this winedy road called life.

My husband and I have experienced a few ups and downs in the last couple of months. To say the least I think that God sometimes let us experience some trials to appreciate how much life is really a gift.

My Husband, Mike who I feel is one of the most active men I know. He is constantly working out or running several miles. He is actually working toward running in the Marine Corp Marathon in October of this year. So he can put down like 10 miles with no complaints. He ran the Derby Marathon here in Kentucky a couple of years ago and has wanted to run the Marine one in washington DC since he is a Former Marine. In preparing for that he has had a few road blocks in his training. A couple of weeks ago he went in for a routine check up and found that his Bilirubin levels where high, which could mean a lot of things. he went to a specialist and has his liver looked at over an ultrasound and did lots of blood test and come to find out it looks like he just has high bilirubin in his blood, which is called Gilberts syndrome. Nothing big but before we found that out I was a complete wreck, and worry came over me like a dark could, but I asked for prayer for some friends and found that it helped and lifted the dark could i called worry away.

Then everything was going good and my husband who has been working out and running and digging fence holes for a privacy fence we are installing, started having problems breathing in deep, that progressed worse to where he couldnt lay down or on his side and couldnt cough because it gave him so much pain. So we went to the ER, U of L Er which was the first time we had been there, it was actually kinda dirty place it seemed, but he was seen fairly quickyl and put on the heart montior and EKG to make sure that there where not heart issues going on. Well that turned out fine and come to find out his Chest X-ray showed that he might have a slight case of Pneumonia going on, so they gave him heavy anitbiotics to clear it up. So all his progress for training in the marathon was haulted and the fence was haulted and anything else that is heavy straining. BLahhhhhhhhh,

But with some prayers said Mike is definately improving and getting better and better, so hopefully he will start getting back to a routine again.

Ryder is already 4 month and a couple weeks old and is getting stronger and stronger. He is tall and growing.

Dominic is trying to be in everything wanting to learn and has figured out that he can play video games. He is learning and talking at a fast paced and wanting to soak everything in and even memecking our personalities, that is scary. So I am challenged to watch every little thing I do because he will sure copy it. Thats good motivation to change the yucky parts of me.

So next week we head to Arkansas to see my grandparents and doms first time in Arkansas, that will be interesting.

I guess that is all for now, one thing I do know is that God is so incontrol of everything and nothing goes unnoticed or unloved because he is there.

God Bless!

Mike being silly at a baby shower.


Dominic one day at the Zoo.


Grandpa with Baby Ryder Francisco Garcia(4 months old)


Dominic showing me where countries are on the map, probably pointing to the Philippines where uncle chris and Aunt Cathee, and cousin Samuel live.


Ryder doing what he does best, Smiling:)